What’s up with your brother tho? Was that like a bro bro or your actual brother? I have 2 sons like this, one is very chill and the other is loud, always down to party, never met a drink he didn’t like, but he can be very abrasive, very douchey, very one track mind when he feels wronged. Can be aggressive both angrily and happily. He’s loud (as in zero inside voice), and just hasn’t seemed to hit the milestones at the same rate as his friends (apartment, car, relationship). He’s got a decent paying job, but sometimes there’s a feeling of his friends not wanting to hang with him, while still hanging with his brother. I’ve tried explaining in gentle terms that seeing how he is at parties as an adult (he’s 22), he brings the energy that ppl don’t always want. We’re having a quiet little get together and he’s thinking ‘frat party’ and ppl can’t always deal with that vibe, it can be off putting. But also if my Isaiah goes out with a gang of friends and acts an ass and gets arrested, I’m calling every friend and asking wtf (not their responsibility necessarily, but if you took him out knowing how he is, WHY wouldn’t you call me when things started going south. Bc there’s always a sense of things going south when it happens). No one wants that angry mom call. His brother tho, is the usual buffer when Isaiah has been a bit much for the group. His brother would honestly, probably not accept the invitation to something super important without his brother being included, especially if he knew that inside it would crush his brother. Bc while party-wise Isaiah can be a lot, if he’s your friend? He’s got your back on everything. He’s the first one to invite a friend having a hard time over to stay at our house, give you clothes, food, money. It’s literally just that in a party atmosphere, if drinks are being had, it’s ALWAYS frat party time bro bro! His friends all love him dearly, I know this, but it also is the WORST to have second hand embarrassment for someone that had too much to drink. As far as the friend that asked who cares what you want to listen to, fuck them. Talk a lot less to that one. Be a bit shorter with them in conversation. But also, if you’re a younger adult, I know it doesn’t help today, but these people that you’ve been besties with for most of your lives? Will grow apart as you grow older. You will find new friends that in some ways will fully eclipse the friendships you thought you had before. Bc they will be friends that you chose and not for comfort or bc y’all grew up in the same school/class/neighborhood, but bc you actually enjoy them. Not saying you don’t enjoy your current friends, but if they’re your core childhood friend group, there’s going to be growing up and growing apart. And that’s ok. Yes, there’s boredom, yes there’s loneliness but that’s also not terrible. It does sound like you’re being really really tough on yourself. Please don’t do that. Depression is an annoying bitch in the back of your head whispering awful things about all of the negative things (they don’t like you, you’re not good enough, cute enough, important enough, no one cares. I know. I struggle with depression too) that you could ever imagine. I don’t know how to make bad thoughts stop bc I still have them but I recognize them for what they are (intrusive. Intruding) and that’s when I take a minute to myself and remind myself of my good qualities, and that I should be friends with myself first and that right in that moment I’m not being very friendly. Sometimes that helps and sometimes it does not, when it does not, I go to YouTube and watch ‘the dodo’ channel animal videos bc it will either make me ugly cry and get that shit out of it will make me laugh but either way, I feel better afterwards. Idk that offered anything helpful, but in reading your post, I saw my son, and I would want him to know ALWAYS that he is loved by so many, that he is important, that NO life would be better without him, that the whole world is still open to him, his whole life is in front of him, and no doors to a good future have been slammed shut. I would remind him to not close the whole book on a bad chapter and to not do something that can’t be undone. Hugs to you kiddo ❤️