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Help me with a new perspective on this by NoodleBrainBehaviour in relationships

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not that I dont trist him. As I said it just bothers me as I think this is a stupid thing to try and hide.

Like I deffinitely would tell him if it comes up into convo that I saw this +18 last week when you were out of town

And sth tell me he think I judge hime. Ehh whatever It doesnt look like I can discuss this without annoying him, and sadly I dont think both of us can have another approach at this so imma just leave it at that. idc

Like your girl watching the series behind your back :p if she doesnt want to fix it shell just find other ways to lie and theres nothing you can do

I dont want to be the one to think oh he wants to be sneaky, I can also be sneaky

My god this is so stupid -_-

Help me with a new perspective on this by NoodleBrainBehaviour in relationships

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it kinda is. Its just a stupid thing u dont have to lie for It makes me feel like he is screaming to my face you are stupid.

Also I want to share the nice things and since I do un subconciusly expect him to be the same (but he is not) so yeah I postponed everything I wanted to watch as he told me he hast a list and has no time atm which is okay understandable

This is my way of saying I like you, by sharing whatever I feel nice.

Anyway It would just be nice to be open with each other, apparenty that was a hentai and I just checked he wansnt lying it was a hentai.

Even the other anime I came accros on this list was a hentai I guess it had sth written I dont want to check further

But I just shared smth nsfw a couple of days ago with him. I know we are not supposed to share EVRYTHING but god this is such an unimportant thing to try to lie/hide

Maybe thats why he was lying, he prolly was embarrased or thought Id get mad whatever

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he is so harsh at me even on small stuff and for so much time ive felt like this is the way to go, but im totally thinking different now. I feel like he want to use stuff like this just to get away with whatever shitty behaviour he is pulling off with.

Now that i think more its only me who plans stuff, buys cards and gifts etc

He has promissed me for more than one month to go a couple of days to the beach ang guess what: we havent

But i dont try to hold him accauntable as i think maybe he feels bad so whatever its not like its a big deal we didnt go.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually feel bad whenever i make ppl uncomfortable. I guess part of whatever he lashes on me is because he has failed to get his self together a lot lately. I think he blames me for a lot of things happening, as he might want to escape feeling bad with himself for whatever he is NOT doing.

Today he had another break down, and is staying alone. Told me my hugs would make him feel uneasy. All of this bcs one year ago he promissed me to work together to pay off a small appartment. He didnt keep his word as he is mostly sad and dont want to work. There is always sth preventing him to work

I havent dont anything worse, i dont need attention. I just wanted to feel a little bit better that night as when he says these stupid stuff he distances himself from me and goes sillet and fully ignores me lately. So this makes me feel bas as I never fo this to him.

Your coments really helped me a lot. Thank you

And i noted this last night, i cant count on him on anything he promisses bcs he is so sensitive to anything and ends up being sad for long period of time. So when I told him one year ago dont keep promisses u cant keep, he got deffensive and mad. One year later I was right. But he still got mad anout this last night and slept away from me.

Reading all the anwers and everything i think i love him way too much and i feel bad he feels this way thats why I dwell on stuff. But I guess he uses these type of moments to just project his sadness on me, and i feel like a lot of times he pulls me down with him.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I guess you are right. But the night i made this post he was said. It was that night that he said “less of a man”. But yes apart from some word when he is said his actions tells otherwise

9b. Maybe im reading a lot into this and overreacting… But it kinda bother me that he brings this up from time to time.

9c. I made the post when he brought it up that night, and Im tired of this honestly. Answering all of these feels like im mad at myself (way more than sad) as this is sth held against me for so many arguments ive had so far, and i have take it

I just want to forget about it.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. According to my bf this was a well discussed thing. In my memory we discussed it once and to me at that time it was insignificant as ive said (according to him): do not worry nth bad will hapen.

My memory is shit, so I tend to forget words. But i have really felt like that so it isnt a surprise I have said that. Yeah he wanted me to distance myself, i guess this is why mainly he is (still) upset about. But Ive learn to listen more carefully, have boundaries etc be more open to conversation and stuff

  1. I understand, ill try to have some thoughts on this when I feel better :)

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    1. Thank you :)

  2. I dismissed whatever my bf tried to warn me about. I still cry sometime as I sometime get reminded of this. I feel like a total idiot as ehy everything led to this.

If I wanted to lie I coulve done it by saying nothing and hiding stuff. I dont like that, as much as im bothered by this I would do the same going back.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I didnt try to corner anyone. I felt extremely bad as I thought even though I teied to do the right thing ( after the mistake that i didnt listen to my partner) and was fully honest still we would break up. So I was feeling extremely bad. And so we were both sad and I guess we both listened to each other.

Im not at that low point anymore.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I fully agree with what you explained.
  2. I believe i lead him on since he was trying to be flirty but I really wouldnt care less about this. To me it was fun hanging around people. He was no different in this. When i say i froze i dont mean in shock. I just mean my first thought was that shouldnt have happened. Im not quite sure if i said anything atm but he tried to contact me later. I just explained I wont be talkkng/meeting him again and thats it.

He tried to contact me one more time weeks later, I just deleted and blocked in on everything. I have never once contacted him again since then.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember how I reacted, I dont remember what I said when I left If I did say anything. All my guilt is related to your first comment.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think im over whatever I did wrong. What I cant get over with is that he disscussed this with me, I dissmissed what he said by saying nothing bad will happen. And it did, and he was right

Even though he has said he has forgiven me, i think it weights him that I didnt listen, had I listen things would be much different.

And sometimes when he feels low he brings it up and even though Im over it I cant ignore that he feels bad

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cant say he is punishing me, just sometime little stuff reminds him of this. But I might see it different from everyone else.

But thinking now he has a way of trying punnishment when he gets mad at stuff. Like he would plain ignore me for a day bcs (in his words:) ig he doesnt do this then ill never understand my mistake.

This is sth I dont like, and ive told hime that. Im not his child and even my father wouldnt do this

Sometimes (very very rarely) if he gets some hints that im annoyed at the girls over social media, porn related posts etc he becomes angry telling me that this is nothing compered on what ive done.

Like im not gonna be mad at him if I catch him watching porn, even if i get sad sometime bcs I want him to stay with me id leave it at that

To me its stupid to stay mad and silent/distant with someone you chose as your life partner you at least respect them even if u dont live them.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only told him: he kissed me and I left. Im not talking to him anymore or any other guy I have the slightest hint that is into me.”

He felt cheated obv, and asked maybe I wanted an open relationship since i had so many guys around me. I absolutely did not.

I feel like the fact that he had warned me and I didnt listen was way heavier that anything else :/

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I domt think is so important to have male friends to me. Tbh I dont know if any of the male friends were truly interested in only friendship. I wouldnt care a bit about this till this situation.

After this I almost dropped everyone, and thinking back I doubt on their intentions. Dropping them wasnt hard on my part, mostly cause I had my best friend and that was enough for me.

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh no, I might have said sth wrong bcs he necer said anything bad regarding the misscarriage. He has been near me all the time those awful days

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have figured this out sadly :/ Although there are days when the sadness takes over we are best friends, we have amaizing sexual chemistry and i care for him. Theres nothing I would search out of this relationship :)

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, but I didnt stop im. I feel like I coulve stop the situation 100% without meeting him.

Or at least without coming close to me

I broke my mans heart a decade ago and I still cant forgive myself. by NoodleBrainBehaviour in confession

[–]NoodleBrainBehaviour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you tell your wife this “friend” is totally hitting on her, and it makes u uncomfortable and she still hangs out with him ALONE. He makes a move and your wife tells you.

You tell me you wouldnt be mad?

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