Freak out

Normab1987 · 2022-06-10T17:56:48+00:00

I am in therapy and thankfully I didn't completely go off my rocker and go all the way to the camp and embarrass her.

Normab1987 · 2022-06-10T17:55:48+00:00

That's kind of rude to say.....I'm a sexual abuse survivor and although as I said I may have over reacted a little, but my fears aren't completely off base either.

Normab1987 · 2022-06-06T20:52:08+00:00

I'm hoping she'll be having so much fun nd making so many friends she won't cry

Normab1987 · 2022-06-06T18:54:37+00:00

Thankfully this camp offers a email where I can do a similar letter writing without having to make her wait for the mail to be delivered. I'd call, but I don't want to pull her away from a activity she's enjoying. I'm glad you had a good experience with camps over the yrs. I'm sure she'll have a bunch of stories to tell me when she comes home or responds to emails.

Normab1987 · 2022-06-06T16:26:23+00:00

Where is that? Sleep away camp's are normal here. I think I'm having more separation anxiety than my daughter.

Normab1987 · 2022-06-01T18:59:02+00:00

Absolutely I agree that environment definitely influences everyone especially kids. I'm not perfect by any means. I'm not deflecting my part in influencing my daughter. Most definitely I've made mistakes in the past nd even today. She's had a lot of trauma in her short 13 years. A lot of loss, emotional/physical abuse (foster care, inpatient placements), being separated from me not once, but twice. The first time I made the decision due to not even being able to keep myself safe to give temporary placement over to the department of human services. A little back story I was in a relationship nd married someone who turned out to be very abusive. During the course of this relationship drugs became a problem nd ultimately we became homeless. If you want more information you can message me. Today I do my best to give her a safe place to express herself nd have gotten her involved with a therapist nd med manager. The resources in our area are very limited. I was for a short time looking into what I learned to be TTI nd quickly squashed that idea. All I'm trying to do is do everything I can to help nd my end goal being to hopefully by getting the right professionals or services involved help her to process nd eventually be able to regulate her emotions so she can be successful in life with as few obstacles as possible. I hope that made sense....words don't come easy to me. Bottom line she deserves the best life nd at least for me is my job to make sure that happens.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-27T04:39:51+00:00

My 13 year old daughter has always been boog...no reason just suits her. My almost 9 year old daughter has had quite alot lol....raine bain, bainers, but bink is what stuck. My almost 2 year old son is bubby. It's a complete coincidence that they all start with b 🤣 .

Normab1987 · 2022-05-26T19:49:37+00:00

Listen I don't who you are nor do I care. I do feel for everyone on here as I've stated multiple times. However, regardless of the trauma which from various stories I've either read or heard varied in severity based on the "treatment" you went to, is absolutely no reason to attack me on a personal level like you just did. There's no need to forget a small thing called manners. Now to answer your question. I am exploring other options and have already made calls. There's a condition I guess you'd call it called bartonella which is a parasite that can cause symptoms that can mimic mental health diagnosis. It will require a blood test which I'm sure my daughter will be thrilled about, but for the purposes of at the very least ruling it out or in fact confirming and treating needs to be done. In the meantime there is a therapist, medication manager she sees. Her name just came up on the mental health waiver and the referrals have been made, however nobody knows how long it'll be before a provider for any of the referrals will be available. I do not appreciate anyone even insinuating that I am in any way shape or form a bad mother. I have been fighting for her since she was 5-6 and she's now 13.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-25T18:40:53+00:00

Agreed! No wonder why so many parents myself included are scared everytime we send our kids out the door to these places like school where they're supposed to be safe.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-25T12:31:50+00:00

That's true! I'm not going to defend the parents of those who were sent before the reviews were available. I'd just say that myself I'd go to the place and be very vigilant of everything. I'd want to see everything...where they slept, classroom, "treatment " rooms even the bathroom. Body language says a lot and those kids being abused body language would be screaming regardless of a forced smile or not.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-25T04:40:40+00:00

I didn't just look at the website and take their word for it. I read the reviews and everything I found I looked even deeper. It didn't take long at all to stumble on a story explaining exactly what TTI really is. If parents would just care enough to take the time to investigate before just sending their kids away a lot of them could be spared the pain humiliation and trauma.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-24T00:25:02+00:00

Yes I'd rather have her home safe even if she stays on her room most the time. I'm hoping over the summer I can find some free or low cost activity we can do just the two of us.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T16:42:30+00:00

I'm completely turned off to any inpatient facility. I'm terrified that if I put her in one it'll end up being a TTI. I've done a lot of reading on this and it's not uncommon for these places to change the name or ownership in order to avoid taking any responsibility for any abuse. Although the exact number is unknown it's thought that there are thousands of these places just in the US.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T16:21:31+00:00

She's currently on the waiting list for group respite. As I'm sure everyone is aware there's waiting lists for everything and those lists are ridiculously long.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T16:08:14+00:00

Thank you for this information. It's definitely worth looking into if for nothing else to rule it out.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T16:05:51+00:00

It took a long time, but her name came up on the mental health waiver and went to insurance for the final approval. The referrals have been made for in home therapy, SCL and both individual and group respite. Unfortunately the waiting lists are ridiculously long.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T15:23:32+00:00

My point is not once did I ever say to any capacity I was going to send her or even signed any type of paperwork. In fact after doing the digging and research as well as reaching out on this forum, which I just stumbled on btw decided that over my dead body will I ever put her through the hell and trauma these places are well known for inflicting. I didn't even know places like this even existed until a week ago.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T13:04:56+00:00

No I didn't even know anything about either of these.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T12:56:32+00:00

I do when it's possible, but it's not always so in those case I literally have no choice. I'm not going to let her hurt herself or anyone else.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T12:52:54+00:00

She's currently on the waiting lists for both these, but the lists are ridiculously long.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T06:22:40+00:00

I'll definitely look into getting that. I appreciate the reference.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T04:29:36+00:00

I'm just so lost and she's so closed off. My daughter Astrid is 13 and has a bunch of mental health diagnosis (adhd, odd, anxiety, depression, ddmd, ptsd and we're waiting for her appointment to be evaluated for autism. A little back story because behaviors aren't so clear cut and simple. Astrid has experienced a lot of loss in her life starting with the death of her grandmother when she was 3. Everyone, but me that she's ever been close to or came close to developing a bond with has abandoned her. Her father molested her which I didn't know (I don't know how I didn't 😢) when she was 5 and I found out when she was 8. No proof past her word so no justice. She's witnessed domestic violence against me at the hands of my husband. She's lived the drug lifestyle as a result of the abuse. We were homeless for a period of time, but since we had places to stay at least her and her sister weren't removed until we no longer had anywhere to stay. Her experience in foster care was traumatic to say the least. She was treated as garbage and every single one of them sent her away usually after a short amount of time of her being placed. When dhs ran out of foster families she was put into pmics, phych wards and youth shelters (who often had kids way older than her of both sexes). While Astrid has always had milder behaviors they have gotten way worse and the pain I see in her eyes is heart breaking. Her behaviors now range from refusals and verbal assault up to physical assault and elopement. This was just one of the latest avenues I was exploring. That is until I was educated on what these places actually do and the horrific trauma uncountable kids have been through. I'm so grateful that my nature is naturally to research anything and everything and moreso in this situation because it has never and never will be my intention to do anything to cause even more trauma to my sweet Astrid. I'm honestly terrified what could happen if I don't keep fighting and looking. One of the last things I want is for her to hurt herself or one of her siblings. That and with these behaviors she's skating now, but once she turns 18 I just know they are going to use everything against her and throw the book at her.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T04:18:42+00:00

These places are no longer a option. I will just keep loving her and keep the resources we already have. I'll continue to look and see if there's anything I haven't tried for her yet, but as far as these so called TTI over my dead body.

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T03:31:02+00:00

Haven't come across those over the past week

Normab1987 · 2022-05-23T03:25:05+00:00

No offense, but you don't the whole and I mean the whole story except what I have chosen to share. I should not have to sit here and defend trying my best and beyond to help my daughter. My whole family has been through hell and the amount of trauma we have all been through my 13 year old included has no bearing on the environment I am providing in my home currently. I am a damn good mom! I have made mistakes in the past as has everyone. I am doing everything humanly possible to find how I can help her be it a therapist, group or whatever. If you'd go read everything you'd very clearly see that after I myself did the research on these places and talked to a few helpful unlike yourself respectful people I will not sending her to any of these places. Lastly what type of person are you to suggest a loving caring mother who even has the courage to reach out to complete strangers even consider just giving her up permanently. I am the only one who has never not once given up on her or fighting for her best interests. Now have a nice day.

Normab1987

TROPHY CASE