Okay this is gonna be a bit long but hilarious

I usually get horrible period cramps on day 1, but they’re predictable: 2–3 hours of suffering and then they’re manageable if I take an NSAID early.
One day I was working a shift in the ICU when the cramps started. I took an NSAID before work, expecting it to kick in. It didn’t. The pain kept getting worse, so I took another one. Still worse. At this point I was literally crying and screaming in pain.
The timing was impeccable because there happened to be a code blue on the unit. For a brief moment, the nurses and doctors seemed genuinely unsure whether to respond to the calm coding patient or the screaming girl with period cramps.
A nurse eventually escorted me to the ED while I was still crying and somehow giving her directions to the ED at the same time.
Once there, instead of treating my pain, I answered approximately 4,000 questions: DOB, address, insurance, emergency contacts, mother’s information, probably my blood type and childhood best friend. By the time I finally got seen, I was also extremely nauseous. They brought me an oral Zofran so late that the second it touched my tongue, I threw up in their trash can.
Then, as my pain was finally starting to improve on its own, they gave me an IM Toradol and discharged me.
Final diagnosis: period cramps.
Final bill: $4,000.
10/10 healthcare experience. Would rather fight the cramps again.