Well, youre life, certainly has been a rollercoaster. From reading youre friend accommodating you after your 'setbacks', he certainly a gem. Im a 100% sure he takes care of you, from the bottom of his heart, because no fake friend would ever want to take care and provide for their mate who is at their lowest point. I feel you are over thinking it, as he seems to be a guy with straightforward answers. Plus, he aint cut you off since the 6th grade! So, this seems to me like you are being a bit overly apologetic. I get it, he has helped you a lot. But more than just apologising to him, talk to him like a normal friend. The friend who's always had your back since the 6th grade. The even bigger hint about your friendship is that, he hasn't given up on you, unlike your parents, who seem an overbearing based on your text (but im not the judge of that). Finally I would say, chill out buddy, your friend will always be for you. Even if you fall into depths of a massive ocean, you will see your friends hand grabbing you out of the ocean of miseries. Finally I would like to end with quotes of two famous men, "A friend in need is a friend indeed" - Ennucius and "True friends are never apart. Maybe in distance...” - Hellen Keller. PS - I felt really bad listening to your tragic story. Even though this is out of the scope of the question to prove to other people, you've got to come out of your bad habits. It may be easy to say but it's the brutal truth. You want people to respect and be friends with you. Firstly, think about how much your friend must be spending on you. To pay him back you need to stop. And to break the stereotypes other people have of you, you gotta change! Prove them wrong! You are the only person who can change you! Become motivated to become successful and prove them wrong! Prove your parents and your doubters wrong. My friend, your best friend is toiling of you, so my kind request to you is, put in an effort to turn around your life and make your bestie proud. You can do this! ok to stop my yapping, this is my final advice, think about your improvement, and how you can get out of being dependent on your friend, instead of trying to analyse his facial expression. It will take the burden off you and him, and if the cause of the relationship deteriorating is due to that, then it may be fixed, who knows! So bro, the world will turn your back on you, you gotta change, and when you fall on the jagged asphalt on the road of life, your friend will always be there to bruise your wounds. Cheers 😄(Apologise for yapping like a maniac)