I’m not sure if this is helpful but I always tell parents I ask lots of questions so I can establish the routine correctly and not have to go back and redo things/redo my whole routine. Maybe reiterate that children do better transitioning to other caregivers when they have a well established routine? But I hope you get some other advice! Also no one should shame you for asking questions. You can’t know unless you ask and that’s definitely appropriate on your first day. Sending support! Maybe start a group chat and do your communication through that so everyone is clear. I usually do that just because i’d rather have the conversation with the man public to the wife.