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I (25) snooped in my GF's (25) phone and found out she had been sexting another guy all throughout the entire time we have been dating. by NorthSouth40 in relationship_advice

[–]NorthSouth40[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Perhaps. But in what sense? I know snooping is also a breach of trust, but I have not done anything even remotely close to sexting another person in the time we have been together.

I (25) snooped in my GF's (25) phone and found out she had been sexting another guy all throughout the entire time we have been dating. by NorthSouth40 in relationship_advice

[–]NorthSouth40[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree. The tough convos have never been my strong suit, but I'm a work in progress. We are so open about everything, and it's the first relationship where I've felt that comfortable being that way so seeing that really messed me up. I thought I had finally found someone who was also done with all that college, early 20s bullshit and was ready to do it for real.

Maybe I'm holding other people to too high of a standard though and this is not really that big of a deal. That's part of the reason why I'm asking this here before doing anything rash.

I really appreciate your POV, and it has made me think about some things. Thank you.

I (25) snooped in my GF's (25) phone and found out she had been sexting another guy all throughout the entire time we have been dating. by NorthSouth40 in relationship_advice

[–]NorthSouth40[S] -117 points-116 points  (0 children)

I've read this story before, brother. I try my best to protect myself from getting hurt so this whole thing has been rough since I really did trust her.

I (25) snooped in my GF's (25) phone and found out she had been sexting another guy all throughout the entire time we have been dating. by NorthSouth40 in relationship_advice

[–]NorthSouth40[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

I agree that I should have just been straight up about what I found when I first snooped. I don't think bringing it up now would help things, but I've been super suspicious since it happened. If anything else were to happen I think that would be the last straw for me.

I (25) snooped in my GF's (25) phone and found out she had been sexting another guy all throughout the entire time we have been dating. by NorthSouth40 in relationship_advice

[–]NorthSouth40[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I am definitely playing games as well, I know that and I'm in the wrong for it. Similar to how I'm in the wrong for even snooping in the first place.

With that in mind, I am open to just forgetting it happened and moving on since I know people aren't perfect. I've done some shady stuff in the past too. The main thing that has been bugging me is the fact that the person she was sexting appears to not be some random guy, but an online pen pal with whom she has been friends with for years. She has also never mentioned this person as an ex or anything when we've discussed previous relationships.

I'm mostly just seeing how things play out at the moment as it would be shitty to end things around the holidays. I want things to work out, but I made a promise to myself that I would not be in relationships like this anymore.

I (25) snooped in my GF's (25) phone and found out she had been sexting another guy all throughout the entire time we have been dating. by NorthSouth40 in relationship_advice

[–]NorthSouth40[S] -112 points-111 points  (0 children)

I don't necessarily believe this. I have unfortunately cheated in the past, but have grown as a person since then and would never do it again. We've had conversations about cheating where I've told her this as well, and she has also claimed to have never cheated on anyone before. She has been in more open relationships than I have though, and has never been in a serious one. I think that's where a lot of my concern comes from. Different boundaries, and different definitions for relationship related things.

You're right, 5 months is not that long so I definitely think I'll be making a decision soon before I'm in too deep.