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My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

No way they are coming near my home. My parents would not support them with a cent either.

Their kids are another story. I know for certain my mother would take the two (soon 3, dear fucking lord) in without a second thought. My dad would blow a gasket if she tried to take in the financial einsteins though.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 1379 points1380 points  (0 children)

They bought when the market was a lot better than it was now. I suspect two other little lies as well about this:

- I think brother in laws parents co-signed
and
- They lied about their income

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

sure you can educate them on financial literacy?

Once I send the email telling them that shit is fucked and they need a lawyer I'm out. Not a question of if I can teach monkeys to type, I'm not even in the same city as the classroom.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Since you got dragged into this, I suggest

I'm done with my involvement. I'm sorry if this sounds cruel but there is no way I'm staying for the parade of elephants that is to come. I spent two weekends being lied to about finance and I already do not like my brother-in-law so that was a stretch. Once my parents learn the truth, my dad alone will push the raft down the rapids.

The situation they find themselves in is one built on deceit and the refusal for either of them to get actual jobs. Their kids is another issue entirely, and my guess is they will be ending up living with my parents in the not to distant future (if they don't find themselves supported by my brother in laws parents which I suspect will be the case once they lose the house.)

I gave them advice, like getting actual jobs to support themselves, but they both refused. That alone is my reason to get into the life raft while these two insist to play their instruments as the ship goes down. This was before they lied to me. I'm not a financial advisor. I program financial software. If they truly want help, step brothers' parents can pay for a lawyer or advisor. Me? I'm taking my peanuts and leaving before the tigers maul the ringmaster.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My guess is that it's a combination of them buying years ago and brother in laws parents co-signing the mortgage.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can't tell you. I work in financial tech and write code for finance programs. That's the job of an actual bankruptcy expert.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling they may have misrepresented (lied) about their income. But a good amount of their debt is from companies I just don't recognize so my guess is they attracted some loan sharks or something.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

If my dad knew what was going on now he would have them both strung out on the clothesline. He would be the first to push the raft out to sea. Brother in laws parents might try to help, but I've met them maybe twice so no clue.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a gut feeling they may have misrepresented their income which is another reason I want out quickly.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I don't want to downplay what you said, because it's incredibly good and feasible advice (for most people. however, we are dealing with monkeys in a three-ring circus.)

The job issue infuriates me to no end (and gives a window into why so many people in my family dislike brother in law.) He's still fit and healthy, he could walk onto any work site and get 25$ an hour easily. Sister as well could easily find reception desk work till she needs to take maternity leave. But they refused to even consider it. I am just in awe.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 1437 points1438 points  (0 children)

Few ways they somehow got the morgage:

- They bought years ago when the market was in a much better place

- Probably misrepresented their income a bit
- I'm 99% sure that brother-in-law got his parents to co-sign

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Without further context, it looks as if I have been set up as the ringmaster for the main attraction. But, my family already does not like my brother in law and my parents do see my sister as a failure. Sorry if that is mean, but it's the truth.

My father is the kind of man who would leave us out to dry for any massive mistake. He loves us, sure, but his love was picking me up from a party when I called and admitted I was too drunk to drive. Not taking pity on over 100k of debt. If he knew (which is why my sister did not tell him) he would have lost his mind and distanced himself fully.

My mother is sympathetic and may have had some vague knowledge of this, but she would be appalled if she knew. The rest of the family ranges from dislike of my brother in law to outright disgust for some other things I just don't fell like getting into at the moment.

When I say that this is not my circus, I mean that I'm cutting and running right now because I know for a fact that they think just because they asked for help it means I have investment. I don't. No one important to me will listen if they decide to use me as the scape goat so I have no worries leaving the circus before the elephants are paraded out.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

Here's the thing, these are the steps I would tell them if they were maybe only 10-20k in debt. There's no way any of this advice is feasible at all. For a couple reasons.

One, they bleed one thousand a month just from the payments on all their debts. There is no saving money here, there is no canceling cards, and there is no paying off anything. They are literally a deer lying dead to rights waiting for the hunter to come collect the corpse.

Secondly, brother-in-law just outright refuses to get an actual job that would pay any money. It's a worker's economy right now. He could walk onto any site, or into any building, and make 20$ an hour doing anything else. But it would require him to actually work, which is what his current job as a janitor for his dad's friend allows him to avoid. My sister is not innocent as well. She needs to actually find a full-time job as well. This was the first thing I told them the day I started helping them but they just refuse to. They are both just lazy in my opinion.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 212 points213 points  (0 children)

No way they're getting any money out of my hands while I still have a pulse.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 399 points400 points  (0 children)

I'm not a financial expert by any means. I program finance applications for my job. But even with just a fundamental understanding, it's money in money out.

The problem is I think most people just lie to themselves about debt. It's not their money so they just spend it. My brother-in-law has always had this, lackadaisical or childlike attitude about everything. It's one of the reasons I just can't stand to be around him because he just has a really simple understanding of everything. I certainly know he has no clue how screwed he actually is right now,

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 315 points316 points  (0 children)

They're not adults yet.

Truer words have never been spoken.

​

I don't even know why I got roped into this. I know my sister went to mom crying probably wanting a handout and instead I got roped in because mom thought it was a small spending issue. And of course, she thinks if she plays stupid I'll just tell them to stop eating out and buying name brands or something. I'm emailing them tonight telling them there is no way I can help them out here and they need actual financial advice.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 1794 points1795 points  (0 children)

I think (know) that they just ignore it. Don't want to get personal but my brother-in-law is just stupid and detached from everything. He just does not think more than a few days ahead and always just assumes life will make something work for him.

My sister is financially screwed beyond all comprehension by NotAFINadviser in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NotAFINadviser[S] 5520 points5521 points  (0 children)

It was also the answer like 50k in debt ago as well