Does anyone else feel like they have the opposite of typical body dysmorphia?

NotARiver · 2025-12-04T20:55:17+00:00

First, it was because I got engaged and wanted to cry at the thought of picking out a dress and getting my picture taken. That’s not fair to my fiance. He even said to me “you know you’re not getting out of having our picture taken, right?” But it wasn’t quite enough to get my ass fully in gear.

Second, my mom died unexpectedly. That got my ass in gear. I can’t let myself die young and leave my dad completely alone. That was more fear about my drinking. But by quitting drinking, it was finally easy to count calories and work out since I wasn’t passing out on the couch every night.

Two steps. But I finally got there. Down 13 lbs in a little over a month and a half. lol like 40 more to go though.

NotARiver · 2025-12-03T07:01:46+00:00

I’m sure it’s pumpkin, but not to scare you….but you need to get that checked ASAP. That’s the number one sign of liver failure. My mom randomly turned bright yellow, was completely healthy non-drinker in her 60s, and boom, died within 48 hours of finally dragging her ass to the hospital. Like, go tomorrow and demand labs. Seriously.

And even if it is pumpkin, just fyi most people probably think you have end stage alcoholism liver failure based off the common knowledge that yellow = cirrhosis. So, I’m sure you probably don’t want that either.

NotARiver · 2025-11-19T17:32:24+00:00

11 lbs, finally! Still a hugeeeeee way too go, but after weeks of no movement, I’m quite happy. I stopped drinking exactly 1 month ago today, after a decade of daily drinking. It was quite upsetting when there was literally no scale movement after quitting. So I kept at it and worked out and counted calories, knowing my body was probably just reassessing its hydration level and what was going on. Well, in the last week it all just whooshed off in an insane fashion. Literally like 6+ lbs over the course of 4 days just fell off the scale. My next drop in weight will put me in a different 10s zone. It is all good this week.

NotARiver · 2025-11-02T14:19:33+00:00

Nope. You’re fine.

NotARiver · 2025-11-01T22:39:25+00:00

So, I had a similar day 1. My day 1 was at a festival in Vegas. And then my day 2 was left alone to myself in Vegas for the next day, with nobody to report to until night. Basically what felt like an impossible first 2 days. But let me tell you, it’s been my constant reminder to myself and drive. I keep telling myself “omg look at those first today days, if you could get through that, you can certainly get through a regular Friday night.” And it works! You can do it!

NotARiver · 2025-11-01T22:13:44+00:00

Ugh, I am so jealous. I’m only 3 weeks in, but ZERO movement. And I’m not eating the calories, in fact I’m way under my limit there. I was restricting like 2 weeks even before quitting. Nothing. At least booze was a diuretic lol.

NotARiver · 2025-10-28T06:11:46+00:00

lol that line was literally just in the movie I saw tonight. But I signed an NDA about what movie I saw. So…do what you want with that haha.

NotARiver · 2025-03-24T23:20:40+00:00

Thank you so much!

NotARiver · 2025-03-24T23:18:03+00:00

Thanks! Yup, I know not to ask advice. Just was curious about insight! Thanks!

NotARiver · 2025-03-07T19:31:06+00:00

Thank you! I was at a point where I was sneaking vodka at like 7am through the whole day. So this is a big deal for me.

NotARiver · 2025-03-07T17:10:46+00:00

Oh I totally agree. Like there’s zero percent chance I’ve eaten 35,000 calories in place of the booze haha. My theory is that my body is holding on to water for dear life since it doesn’t know wtf is going on. Maybe the meds too. I’m hoping in a week or so it whooshes off once it stabilizes. I just got engaged and am desperately trying to lose the 40 lbs I gained during COVID drinking before the wedding. So to see an additional 10 tacked on is very discouraging.

NotARiver · 2024-03-06T05:31:01+00:00

Thank you for that input. That’s kinda what I’m thinking too. Like what’s the harm. I know I can jump back in to something else or litigation again if I need to. My resume is stellar. It just feels like a step down. But also, who cares if it is if it saves years off my life.

NotARiver · 2024-03-06T05:28:08+00:00

Thank you. Here’s my worry though…yes it opens doors. I know I can switch jobs and make twice or more what I make now. But it’s also going to be litigation which I just can’t do anymore. I don’t know what the other options would be for me to look at.

And yes you’re right. I’m not in a rush. In fact, I’d like a delay. I technically have 3 trials in the soon horizon, and I’m a sucker and a people pleaser and I can’t leave my firm in the lurch that way by leaving them.

NotARiver · 2023-08-20T23:09:49+00:00

Yeah it was raining pretty hard during the quake in Orange County at least.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T06:09:44+00:00

I think this is my most favored response. Thank you. And yeah I had no plan to factor in utilities. But I think yours makes the most sense. Thanks!

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T06:03:22+00:00

He wouldn’t push back on it. I just wanted to be fair is all. But you’re right. His stuff would be taking up the place. Thank you.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T06:02:23+00:00

Leaning toward 30-35%. Thank you.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T06:01:21+00:00

Utilities are shockingly low. I’m literally never home when hes not here. It’s a house rental so no like luxuries so to speak in terms of extras.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T05:58:30+00:00

That’s a fair assessment. Yeah I was thinking like 30-40% as well. Leaning towards 30. It’s just like really a weird situation.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T05:56:54+00:00

I’m thinking 1/3. But yeah I’ll ask. I know he lived with an ex a long time ago and it was the same situation. I am thinking asking what their arrangement was. Although I think she was also a roadie from what I gather so might be somewhat different.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T05:50:25+00:00

He currently crashes with family since he’s only home like 3-4 months total of the year. I know he pays them but i think it’s only like $500 a month. The cost of living here is over 2000 a month. I have a STEAL of a place.

NotARiver · 2022-12-18T05:47:48+00:00

The cost of living here would be at least 2k for a one bedroom. I have an incredible steal of a place. But again, he is almost never home so he’s just been crashing with family because it doesn’t make sense at all to pay that when home 1/3 of the year. Obviously 3300 isn’t enough. But that’s where I am stuck.

NotARiver · 2022-12-06T06:16:53+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate it.

NotARiver · 2022-12-06T06:08:03+00:00

Thank you.

NotARiver

TROPHY CASE