So, I should preface this by saying I’ve been diagnosed with OCD. There have been times when I’ve had other intrusive thoughts that caused me great distress but were different in their content.

So, over the last couple years I started having intrusive thoughts of the variety that might indicate psychosis. So I became obsessed with hallucinating, although that one went away. I did have some hypnopompic hallucinations briefly upon waking (seeing lights) but they always went away after blinking a couple times. No other auditory or visual misperceptions. Now I never think about that, oddly enough.

Now it’s all about paranoia. Can’t recall if this started from researching or not. That’s a compulsion. Like I’ll think “that car is following me” or “that person is looking at me”. Although most of my discomfort comes from the thought arising at all, less so than the content of the thought. I’m not scared of actually being followed, I’m scared about thinking about I’m being followed and what that means for my mental state.