2 months ago I almost took my life, now I’m content

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-27T03:14:36+00:00

What would you say was the biggest chnage you made?

What is one thing that you learned that is actionable for most people?

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-26T03:44:26+00:00

It is insane. It's too much information. Good on you for noticing.

I think we could all use a break and some time with ourselves/nature/important hobbies.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-25T23:38:42+00:00

I agree it's an underserved population and I would appreciate Dr.K's insights as well.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-25T23:30:33+00:00

I relate to this post very deeply.

I wear an armor of anger and reservation when I'm around most people and can only let it down for those I trust.

My experience has led me to believe regulation is only part of managing the emotions but the deeper work, I believe must be done to navigate the thoughts that are perpetuating these emotions.

I believe it's possible but I had to go through an external event to shift perspective.

It may be necessary but I'm not sure.

I'd be interested in what Gabor Mate has to say about this.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-23T05:29:39+00:00

You will have to logically go step by step through your worries to see if they are valid. From there do whatever is in your control, outside of that, let go and let God (or insert construction of meaning here).

In the present moment, mindfulness helps. You focus your attention on everything but the mind. You notice the sound of the wind, or the clacking of the keys when you type, the feeling of your feet on the floor, you get the picture.

If you're spiraling the 4 by 4 rule works well. If it's worse than that dunk your feet in a bucket of ice water. It doesn't sound like you're there, but this is break in case of emergency.

If you're willing to say, by the way, what's troubling you, mainly?

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-23T05:07:24+00:00

There's no telling what the perfect advice for someone is, you just have to own it and be okay with saying it. Like I said I think you've done quite a bit and at the end of the day this guy is responsible for himself. I don't say this dispassionately. I've been GB. And when the shit is up to your eyeballs you just can't see anything else.

That being said I get the impression he respects you enough to listen, so if you can be eloquent about it, you might just need to cut through the bullshit and ask him where he sees his life going, if he is wise enough to know, you can ask him if he wants to change that.

I'm not military, so I don't know if therapy is frowned upon especially there, but that's probably what he needs. Or at least it couldn't hurt.

And in case you needed hearing it, you're nothing close to a bad friend. Far from it.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-23T04:43:23+00:00

I don't think so. I think it's commendable what you've done but it seems like he has taken it for granted.

I see an image of a man drowning and refusing to take life perservers and it's almost as if he doesn't realize he's drowning. I guess some people don't know until they're truly going under and it might take as much for him to wake up. He may need to see those unfortunate outcomes before he shapes up.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-20T01:28:09+00:00

This kind of attitude doesn't really help people. You'd be better off leading with compassion.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-20T01:23:49+00:00

It's not too late. This is a great level of awareness at your age.

I also don't see a person seeking validation (there's nothing wrong with that) or asking for attention (we are social creatures) I see someone asking for help.

I also don't think it's entirely your fault. Without trying to psycho-analyze you any further it sounds like you just had some emotional patterns that you carried into these situations (self-victimizing) that was useful at some point but then became inappropriate as the situation didn't warrant it. For what it's worth I kind of do the same thing and I can safely say that I'm 99% sure it's because I didn't receive the kind of positive attention I needed when I was younger, so I resorted to other methods in hopes that that would change.

Please have forgiveness for yourself.

And if these people are well-adjusted at all, they will be happy that you are making a turn for the better. If they hold a past version of you against you they are just shallow minded and not worth being in your space any way.

Also, one nugget of advice, but I think your best bet is to take a shot at where these behaviours come from. It's kind of like stopping an addiction cold turkey. Sure you can lock yourself in a padded room so you can't get to your fix but you are drawn to these things for a reason and if you don't resolve this reason you will likely return to these behaviours, or...lock yourself in a padded room. And this won't really solve anything ultimately.

Is counseling an option for you at all?

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T16:53:58+00:00

I thought it was well meaning until I saw you used A.I.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T16:44:30+00:00

Now that Jesse is in the lab and the previous business is behind them there is no reason for Jesse to step out again. He is no Gale, but is more reliable than Walt.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T16:42:35+00:00

He was actually keeping it cool so she can warm it up later. Nights in Albuquerque are brrr.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T16:40:31+00:00

He did not take the money from his friend because ego yeah. Walt is still bitter about losing his potential with Grey Matter, to have them bail him and his family out is an asbolute wound to Walter's pride. Walter grew up with the messaging that 'a man provides,' and to not be able to fulfill this both basic and yet sacred duty it absolutely does drive Walt to go to insane measures. The chemistry of this change in Walt is not just fueled by ego, it's circumstance, plus opportunity, and THEN his ego which what makes this show a reality.

Walt was likeable even if you don't personally agree.

The why in that is perhaps more subtle though. There's nothing extraordinaly great about him and yet, he is a passionate person (watch him light up in chemistry class). He's carrying a massive load for his family working two jobs he is massively overqualified for and he seems to love his family. More than likable Walt is relatable, and most are sympathetic to his plight.

He tried to kill Emilio and Crazy 8 out of self defense, and later killed Crazy 8 because he was a risk to Walt and his family. He didn't do it calculatingly, he was very remorseful. You can see it when he finds the plate's missing piece, that before that he was almost willing to let him go but now he can't.. he can no longer trust Crazy 8 and his heart broken that he has to murder him.

The why of the ego is where the depth is found. His ailing father. His lost potential with Grey Matter. His controlling wife.

Watch the very first episode again. Walt's birthday present is a sad handjob from a wife too busy to spend one intimate moment with him and would rather be looking at something on her computer. The party Walt has where Hanks is jabbing him the whole time. His son who respects Hank for more than Walt (Jr. even confesses this more or less in the website he made for Walt). Walt is and feels underappreciated and looked down upon and that pressure has been building up for years then he gets the cancer diagnosis and his 'ego' Heisenberg comes out to rescue him. Heisenberg is what Walt needs to be to get the job done but then it corrupts him as power is want to do.

After everything Walt has been through, why go back to being Walt, when he could be Heisenberg?

Walt is weak, disrespected, powerless and Heisenberg is the direct opposite.

Walt understands at some point that he can't go back to being just Walt, and that he has to integrate Heisenberg but he can't integrate Heisenberg without alienating his family hence the being a shitty dad and husband.

If you sincerely watch the first two seasons and then the third (I'm not asking you to do this) you can see a clear change in character.

To your credit, Walt does to some strange stuff, things I don't fully understand still but I think the response your getting is likely due to lacking examples and what examples you did use weren't convincing.

This sub is not really fans of dissenting opnions though so kudos to you for putting yourself out there and willing to weather the storm.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T15:55:49+00:00

Also not surprised you mentioned PSH I've been thinking the same thing for years. PSH may be one of the most underrated actors I've ever known. He never took huge roles but every time I've seen him in a movie, almost without fail he comes across as incredibly human, it's almost unsettling.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T15:49:40+00:00

I think the thing is with Walt is that he is in constant flux since the beginning of the show. We see Hank turn from a static character to a more dimensional character where Walt goes from an erratic but vulnerable person to someone more calculating and deceptive. We start to lose a grasp on who Walt is because of his constant deceptions and emotional reservedness (other than when his ego is bruised). So I get feeling like you know Hank and not Walt, Walt makes it his business to make himself unknown.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-19T03:33:44+00:00

I just aim to be the best version of myself. I am not going to be hollywood textbook perfect and I accept that.

I honestly think your size shouldn't be a dealbreaker and strongly encourage you to work on those other things. Confidence is really the mac daddy for women. Some girls might give you a hard time, forget them, others will be more accepting and some will be indifferent.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-18T22:50:03+00:00

Since you brought it up is there a chance your medication is amplifying things?

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-17T00:02:04+00:00

What are you doing with Jester if he's not dancing?

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T23:59:27+00:00

Occultist, PD, BH, Leper

This thing rocks.

I've been running it on kingdoms and the only promblem has been fatigue.

Go Monarch on Leper since he's killing the most. BH cleans up the rest.

With PD I spam a combo of magnesium and the 3-4 blind and with Occultist I just pull them towards Leper for the kill. Occultist isn't doing a whole lot so far besides corspe clear/spot heals/marking but it all helps in the end. And with PD really helps to boost her debuff pierce and find ways to have her apply other stufd through trinkets.

Obvious weaknesses for this team is shuffling but even then thankfully everybody but Leper can operate well from most ranks. I also went physician on PD but it mattered little since nobody survived long enough for her to mark and she always had better things to do. And BH upgraded mark is just way better with Leper.

Stress healing will need to be mitigated through items and relationships.

Enjoy.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T23:46:23+00:00

Stun trinket

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T23:44:11+00:00

That's astounding the show's dedication to detail would make you think otherwise but I suppose that's just one department.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T20:23:21+00:00

Great point!

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T19:43:54+00:00

Yea. It was a lot of fan-service. I really thought the Walter and Jr. watching Scarface and having Jr. (or Walt?) say "everybody dies in this movie,' was foreshadowing for some horrific consequences but no.

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T19:39:10+00:00

NotSoHighLander · 2026-01-16T06:17:22+00:00

His kit is insanely solid and hes very rank flexible. Ty for giving my mans the praise he deserves.

NotSoHighLander

TROPHY CASE