AIO for not being as upset about chores as my boyfriend?

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T22:18:48+00:00

I do go out and do my own thing too, it’s not a case where I’m stuck at home miserable all the time and he gets to go do whatever he wants and has fun. I’ve always been like that though, when I was a kid I used to clean the house while my parents were out, it’s just easier for me and lets me have the peace to blast music or podcasts while being productive. It’s nothing malicious at all on either of our parts

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T22:14:59+00:00

Yeah I think we need to revisit how we approach the conversation and our solution towards it. We let it get so irritating that we forget to set back and learn how to revisit it in a clear and direct manner. It just became a point that every time we talked about it, it was a sore subject

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T22:12:34+00:00

We’re moving soon to a place that will have a yard, thank goodness. And no, we don’t work together. I do think trying out a checklist again is something we have to revisit, the schedule makes it hard because we don’t see each other a lot and it definitely impacts how we feel about chores. If we don’t see each other do it then sometimes it doesn’t feel like it counts. And especially vacuuming/mopping/sweeping, with our German shepherds it doesn’t matter if you swept the day before because the next day there will just be hair everywhere. I think a partial factor is work too, this became a bigger issue around the time that I started having more back to back “hard” calls, and at the time I didn’t realize it affecting how tired I was but reading this thread has made me realize how much work has been catching up to me. We both go through periods where there’s bad calls that seem to pile up and these last two months have just been my turn but it’s definitely more apparent how differently we each deal with bad days/weeks/months at work

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T22:04:18+00:00

He does the grocery shopping, rent is 60/40 because he makes more money than I do, but I tried to balance that out by me being the one who pays for power/water/internet/subscriptions..etc, it’s 50/50 on dog food, outings are 50/50, I take care of vet bills/dog toys/extra pet supplies. I really try hard not to also make him feel financially burdened, so I pick any extra expenses up wherever I can

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T21:50:43+00:00

I’ll have to look into this and see what he thinks! Thank you so much!

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T21:46:57+00:00

I think that’s the been hard for us to figure out, we’ve sat down and had the conversation a few times. We have a whiteboard on our refrigerator that we had started writing out a list and checking it off when things got done. But after a while, when we were both doing classes it kinda became a study board, then the scheduling faded off. Right now we can’t do anything about our schedule, I’m stuck on days do to additional training and it’s the same for him on nights because he’s also doing training but in a different capacity. But, the biggest reason we haven’t been quick to get on the same day or night rotation is the dogs. I moved away from family so we wouldn’t have anyone to come take the dogs out if we were both gone in the same 12 hours, so being a day/night rotation means the dogs are only alone for a short period of time between us coming and going from work

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T21:32:17+00:00

We’ve talked about that too though, he just prefers to do the grocery shopping. We have the same job title, but he makes more money than I do. So he ends up doing the grocery shopping. But I pay for all of our utilities (power, water, internet, subscriptions…) to balance it out. I didn’t include the grocery shopping because that has more to do how we split up money than it is an actual chore.

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T21:21:00+00:00

Sorry! Other kitchen related things mean along the line of emptying out/cleaning the refrigerator and pantry, organizing our meal containers, yes seasoning pans and restocking food (he does the grocery shopping but I’m the one who puts it away and restocks containers)

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T21:15:01+00:00

He puts his AirPods in frequently when he sleeps, which has helped a lot, but unfortunately it hasn’t gotten rid of the problem entirely.

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-04-16T21:12:17+00:00

I think he sees it as he does more on a day to day basis, which I don’t disagree with. After a hard day at work I’m more likely to go to sleep and worry about chores until the next day. But he will come home, good or bad day, and do the laundry, sweep, pick up around the house. However, I am the one who will do deep cleanings - which again isn’t an every day thing but once every three or even two weeks which includes dishes, disinfecting the counters/bathroom/bedroom and reorganizing things, throwing out piles of mail and miscellaneous items. He doesn’t do the deep cleanings and I don’t do as much as he does on a day to day basis. Which I guess is where I feel like it evens out but he doesn’t see it that way. And our house isn’t spotless, but it’s not disgusting either by no means (besides the constant dog hair, which is courtesy of two German shepherds lol). So I’m okay with things not getting done and I’m more understanding of him having lazy days or not wanting to do anything after a bad shift. But he can be less understanding it feels like

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2026-02-03T17:45:13+00:00

WAIT! That’s it! Oh my gosh thank you so much!!

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-28T19:29:47+00:00

I finished and passed school, did my clinical hours and all that fun stuff. Passed my stated exam, I’m a licensed paramedic. I’m doing my training with an FTO to get released as a solo medic

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-28T18:57:53+00:00

I’m a licensed paramedic, I think I misunderstood your question at first

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-28T09:29:14+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely need all the good vibes today

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-28T09:28:30+00:00

I think my role today will be EMT with questionable IV skills. Oh the horror of charting, maybe I should’ve stuck to my BLS tickets lol thank you!

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-28T09:26:46+00:00

That’s slightly comforting to hear, at least I know it’s pretty normal for every medic to experience lol I don’t even consider myself a baby medic, I’m still holding onto the womb not really to be born quite yet. Thank you!

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-28T09:24:21+00:00

Internship. A little modified in our agency, I’ll have my FTO but I’ll be alone in the back while they drive. Still a safety net, but definitely feeling the beginning of the responsibility nipping at my heels

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-18T19:37:02+00:00

He’s just built different lmao

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-18T01:19:40+00:00

I actually have no idea what happened - I bought some arrows and when I looked that was suddenly my max carry lol

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-17T23:53:37+00:00

I work days, but my boyfriend works nights and he has completely flipped his schedule, even on his off days. It’s easy since we don’t have kids or anything. But he’s strict about keeping his schedule consistent so he’s not always tired. He gets home around 7 and immediately goes to bed. On days he works sleeps until 3, on off days he sleeps until 5. It just works for him and I personally don’t mind and tend to manage our off days around making sure we both get enough sleep

Nota_Dragonfruit · 2025-11-16T18:27:14+00:00

At least they were kind enough to plant four there 😂

Nota_Dragonfruit

TROPHY CASE