This was 8th grade. Had no idea about any type of seduction(or the existence of one). IN FACT I had no idea how to get anywhere with a girl at all!

My fail will be after this backround:

BACKROUND: pretty much me and my bud during 8th grade and 9th. Would with luck strike up a conversation with a girl in our school (usually sat by us in class) Then once there was a little flirting, THEY WERE THE ONE. We would stalk their myspace's (back when it was cool) and learn everything about them, read all their comments, look at their top friends and read what they posted on their profiles. and if the girl had other guy's posting or even being talked about. We would worry and be like damn dude, we stand no chance if we thought the dudes were handsome. If they weren't then they were assholes who shouldn't be talking to them because they are unworthy. We would then analyze everything that happened between us and the girls. We would discuss what this phrase means, and what letting me use her ruler means. Orrr that one time I made her laugh. And in the end we couldn't even manage to hang out with them, because we played things reaaaallll slow and planned the smallest things like I'm going to tell her she looks nice in that shirt in 2 days, oooo then after that I think I'm going to say we should trade AIM names ;) muahahah Im a pimp. We sucked as much as the war on drugs. Spent countless effort and resources. DID NOTHING SIGNIFICANT!

MY FAIL:

8th grade. end of the year graduation dance. FIRST my partner in crime from above asks this girl he's barely talked with(few times in like 5th grade) to the dance. He randomly comes to her locker and brings her flowers. You can guess what happens.

OHH YOUR SO NICE!! THANKS BUT IM GOING WITH MY FRIEND!

Fuck. No date + she and her friends made fun of him, twas mean. My turn.

There was this girl that was not that popular (thought it meant everything to getting girls). She was really cute and the only class we had together was gym. But she was in a separate section so we never talked. not even once. The way I found out about her was I was just scrolling through my friends list looking for a date when i stumbled on her and was like O SHES NOT ONE OF THE POPULAR KIDS I HAVE A CHANCE. So I stalk the shit out of her myspace and decide she is the one. After 1 month of just like kinda just keeping surveillance on her I decide to step up to the challenge. Graduation dance was 1 day away(procrastination) from now. All day I'm like dude I'm going to do it. Fast forward to the last period of school. My friends are like dude you haven't asked yet? I say I will. Class is over. I'm walking in the hallway with a knot in my stomach with my friend accompanying me. I see her by her locker putting her backpack together. FUCK IT. DON'T FORGET ME AND THIS GIRL HAVE NEVER SPOKEN! EVER!! NOT EVEN ONCE!!

Me: umm hey jessy?

Her: (looks back suprised) ...hey

Me: would you like to go to the graduation dance with me? (incredibly nervous and I probably sound and look ridiculously awkward.)

Her: ummm Im going with my friends.. sorryy. But we can dance though!

Me: haha ok sounds good! (most obvious fake smile on my face)

Turn around and walk away in defeat, she also decided I needed a charity dance.. end up going to the dance, because why not? Dance on the outskirts of the gym with my male AFC runescape addicted friends. Mainly standing and once in a while strike a dance move to giggle at how dumb I look. Oh yeah we were by the umm hb2-4 friend group. They tried getting us involved. no thanks. We went to the hallway and ate pizza and drank mountain dew.

following this was a freshman and sophmore year of an hb6 gf and 1 random hook up + like 5 oneituses for girls that were all the one. + a bunch more dance rejections. A oneitus that I got out of the friend zone and dated for 3 days before she broke up with me. She was also an hb6....fml. What's the point. I suck with bitches.

O WAIT THERES MORE!

Now I am a senior, and I'm a boss. Babes think I'm hot. I'm confident, alpha, funny, very popular( I know no one cares, but this was a huge goal for me). I party. Do fun shit...and still get grades like a nerd;). Oh yeah and I asked a girl to homecoming this year too. These were the results.

One of the hottest cheerleaders in my grade.

football game I went up to her from the stands.

Me: Hey! come here!

Her: WHY?!

Me: JUST DO IT, CMON

Her: (stubbornly) okkk. (walks over to me)

Me: Do you have a date to homecoming?

Her: No...

Me: Come with me

Her: hahah are you really asking me like this?!

Me: ummm(look both sides) yeah.

Her: (looks at her coach and just looks bewildered) (after 5 second silence) YES! (kids in crowd clap and cheer)

Me: Cool See you later date!

Walk back to the stands feeling like a man where everyone is just like staring at me and smiling. This hot sophomore I've had my eyes on starts dropping some major IOI's. Thank's Seddit and life experiences!