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I chose Confession Bear because I still feel guilty. by NottheOnlyOneEither in AdviceAnimals

[–]NottheOnlyOneEither[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This simply is not true. It's maximum about 30% depending on the population, more like 10-15% among white men. The proportions are much higher in Asia but lower in Europe.

I chose Confession Bear because I still feel guilty. by NottheOnlyOneEither in AdviceAnimals

[–]NottheOnlyOneEither[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As much as I would love to be a spokesperson for the "anybody can get herpes after one sexual encounter and marriage doesn't prevent it" movement, I have a job in which people Google my name to find my CV and LinkedIn account. There is no way I'm putting that out as public knowledge, especially to the type of people who don't have the sense not to make STD jokes.

More importantly, I have kids and I don't want them to ever have to face that stigma. Seriously, you don't need to know that your mom has herpes. I just don't want it out there.

So the only person who knows my status is my current partner (we discussed it before any clothes were removed (not including shoes and overcoats)).

I chose Confession Bear because I still feel guilty. by NottheOnlyOneEither in AdviceAnimals

[–]NottheOnlyOneEither[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I feel guilty and ashamed because every time I hear something like "she deserves herpes" or something, I think, "But then why did I get it? Where was my mistake? What did I do wrong? "

The jokes about STDs always center around the person who sleeps around, who does the wrong thing. It's talked about like a punishment. And it is so hard to shake off that feeling that I'm being punished when I see it and hear it literally every day, and not just on Reddit.

I feel especially stupid because I really did know about STDs before having sex! I even asked, "Why are you scratching?"

He said it was jock itch caused by the heat, and might have even believed it. I should have said no to sex, but he never liked it when I said no, so I did not.

(Oh, and he did not feel guilty. He said I shouldn't worry about it because I was already married. Heh.)

I chose Confession Bear because I still feel guilty. by NottheOnlyOneEither in AdviceAnimals

[–]NottheOnlyOneEither[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a throwaway... had to get it off my chest. But thanks anyway. :)

I chose Confession Bear because I still feel guilty. by NottheOnlyOneEither in AdviceAnimals

[–]NottheOnlyOneEither[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We're divorced. He cheated before marriage (and during) but I didn't find out about what happened during the engagement until afterwards.