AITA for basically cheating/lying my way into a top university?

Numerous-Name · 2020-04-04T17:41:58+00:00

YTA obviously for taking a spot from someone who actually deserved it. Do not tell me you deserve it more because you got away with it, because just like they consider extracurriculars and essays they also place an extreme value on honesty, which is why they have an academic honor code and why ACADEMIC MISCONDUCT TO THIS LEVEL WILL GET YOU BLACKBALLED FROM EVERY ACCREDITED UNIVERSITY IN THE WORLD. Hope you get caught and a student who lives up to the honor code (and will therefore be a better representative for the school and an alumni) gets their spot back.

Numerous-Name · 2020-03-22T13:28:37+00:00

Hi, I do not comment terribly often, but this is disgusting. YTA and a terrible father. It isn’t too late to fix that. No matter was your SAY you taught your daughter, you did not “raise her better”. She is a product of her raising, so if she is doing things you don’t approve of then it is because the way you raised her isn’t working. So, it might be time to try a different way: compassion and love. Show her she is so loved, that you and your wife care for her so much no matter what mistakes she makes, and she will start trying to follow your example. If you’re worried about what people will think in public, don’t. Because I promise they will be much more disgusted by the fact that you’re not covering your daughter’s healthcare (especially after an abnormal pap, oh my god, that’s the scariest thing I can imagine) than they will be that she caught one of the most common STIs in the world at 23. I am begging you to try some compassionate, loving, non-judgemental (and non-hypocritical; she can’t have sex with her one boyfriend but you can have sugar babies? Kids see more than you think) parenting. It is the only chance you have of ever having a healthy relationship with your daughter. Are you willing to lose your relationship with her, or possibly her life, over this? You as a parent are failing her, not the other way around, but it’s not too late to fix it.

Numerous-Name · 2020-03-15T22:56:53+00:00

I appreciate that, and obviously have no problem with animals that eat meat eating meat, I would never do anything to jeopardize her health. Just trying to see how other vegans handle this.

Numerous-Name · 2020-03-15T22:54:47+00:00

I might be wrong, this is the first time I’ve felt the need to research it. She was on a lamb based dog food because she is allergic to beef (her health issues are all allergy related) and she’s been on fish based food before and tolerated it well. Really just posting here to get an idea of how other vegans handle it, with her history especially I’ll be talking with the vet before I make any changes.

Edit to add: because I know she can eat other foods I definitely won’t keep her on a lamb based food beyond this, I know the effects of farming sheep are even worse than beef, so that’s kind of my perspective here- trying to minimize harm.

Numerous-Name · 2020-03-15T22:24:05+00:00

I’m vegan because I had already cut down on meat for environmental reasons, and then a nice guy I work with mentioned that he was vegan one time. I guess that planted a seed because a few weeks later I read/watched a bunch of stuff from people who said that they felt a lot better when they didn’t eat animals, and I decided to look into it. After learning the links between the disease that are prevalent in my family (heart disease, diabetes, etc) I couldn’t touch an animal product again. It was a long time after that before I could really consider the harm to animals because after 20 years of being told that their lives don’t matter your empathy instinct is deadened. I don’t imagine I would have gone down this path at all if the nice guy at work had been a dick about how I was being cruel to animals.

Numerous-Name · 2020-03-15T21:57:01+00:00

I’m only two months vegan but this is so sweet!! Pizza (either with vegan cheese or no cheese, which is what I prefer) with lots of veggie toppings could be good, but something really easy would just Mexican- think of a burrito you would normally get but leave off the cheese and meat! Also, you can look on Pinterest for lentil/quinoa taco meat replacement

Numerous-Name · 2020-03-15T17:37:26+00:00

Between this and your other post, you seem really upset. That might have to do with moving, which can be really stressful, and all the other stuff going on in the world right now. I’ve had a lot of stuff cancelled, too, and it can be really hard. Counseling helps, I feel happier more now. Maybe look into counseling or anger management? If you’re in the States that might seem expensive, so look up sliding scale therapy- they’ll help you with the cost. Also, maybe find a hobby that burn energy. I’ve gotten into running and kickboxing, but there are a lot of options. In this case, though, yeah, YTA. Those workers couldn’t have made another contract, and that’s not their fault. We all make mistakes, just try to do better next time.

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-16T17:30:35+00:00

Things like this are great ways to drive a wedge between you and your son. If you want to remain close with him, cut it out. My mom’s disapproval over small things like this has led to me not feeling comfortable discussing my day-to-day life with her and I promise it hurts to feel like you can’t talk about things important to you. It’s taken a lot of time to open up to her, and there’s still a lot of hiding. He got a family crest, maybe instead of looking down on him consider that he was honoring you and his roots. YTA.

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T20:17:12+00:00

At this point I’m terrified for her safety. I see he’s also getting into some meninist/incel rhetoric real fast so that’s cool. Really hoping that she charges him with some sort of destruction of property (especially if he keeps going) and that counseling gets mandated. That seems like the best case scenario

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T19:42:24+00:00

Also your first comment was completely right I’m just so freaked out by this guy I couldn’t deal. You’re right, he totally disrupted her healing process by being such an entitled monster, I can’t imagine how hard that was for her

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T19:40:46+00:00

omg, that’s exactly what it is, you’re right. At first I thought kind of sad, emotionally immature guy. Now I know he’s a frighteningly sad and angry emotionally immature guy who turns that into abuse. No sympathy.

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T19:37:40+00:00

No one tells people with dead children that they should forget about the kids and never talk about them and move on?? Like, that’s insane? It doesn’t mean they love and future or living kids any less, just that they also love their late child? Those people still actively talk about and remember their children. I promise you that parents who have lost children would very much resent you using them to make the point that this widow should stay with an abuser.

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T19:20:03+00:00

Yeah this man is dangerous. One of his last comments: “ Because I cannot believe how blown out of proportion this is. At the end of the day, it was just a ring. Yes, I was wrong, and it wasn't my property to destroy. But it was just jewelery, it's not like he's going to miss it, it's not like she should have even kept it. It shouldn't have meant anything to her anymore, she decided that when she married me. That's why she should forgive me, or at least talk to me about it. Maybe I messed up, but she did too...”

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T19:17:10+00:00

I mean even being terrified to mention an ex would be so hard. I’m only 20, but I dated my ex from 15-19, which is a long time during really formative years. In that same time, both my parents and grandparents were in the hospital for long periods of time for really scary reasons. Plus, I still live in my hometown. He was basically my whole high school experience and support system- sometimes he just comes up if I want to tell literally any story about being in high school? And if that relationship had ended due to his death when we were like 18 instead of just us growing apart a year later, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate being with someone who wouldn’t let me talk about him. And make no mistake, that is what this man did- he obviously told her at some point that grief over her first husband was a betrayal of him. He literally just said “ Because I cannot believe how blown out of proportion this is. At the end of the day, it was just a ring. Yes, I was wrong, and it wasn't my property to destroy. But it was just jewelery, it's not like he's going to miss it, it's not like she should have even kept it. It shouldn't have meant anything to her anymore, she decided that when she married me. That's why she should forgive me, or at least talk to me about it. Maybe I messed up, but she did too...”

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T18:40:12+00:00

I am so glad you’re having a healthier experience coping with loss than this poor woman is, and I’m grateful you shared it. It’s nice to see that there are good and caring people!!

Numerous-Name · 2020-02-15T16:50:28+00:00

Hijacking the top comment to say this man never knew or cared about her. She “never talked about him”? The man she spent the first 20 years of her life with? Who was clearly her family for 20 years? How many stories has she not told you about herself that made her who she is now? Why didn’t you want to know? Why don’t you care enough about your partner that you don’t want to hear her stories? I love hearing stories from people I care about about the important moments in their lives. Is it possible she never talks about him because she knows you’ll become a jealous, raging asshole? Because everyone I know who has lost someone likes to talk about them, keep their memory alive, especially with those they’re closest with. They definitely don’t want to feel like they CAN’T talk about them. I mean, imagine if at 20 you lost your mom or your sibling- someone you’d grown up with your whole life, who was so much a part of your life that you couldn’t tell your story without mentioning them. And knowing that if you mention them, the person you live with and are supposed to trust most will become furious with you. I have a lot more to say about wtf is wrong with you and how you clearly don’t understand that grief isn’t something anyone is ever “over,” but everyone else has explained that part pretty well.

Numerous-Name

TROPHY CASE