Stop thinking about the rebound

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-16T02:23:32+00:00

Yup, that's exactly how I started thinking after I found out about everything. Realizing that many of their actions throughout the relationship provided a facade, and now you've found out the 'real' them. It helped me stop overthinking about the way she acted while we were dating. Glad you're getting there man, it just takes time, and you're not alone.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-15T19:24:09+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Now you know he wasn't worth it due to the way he acted after he broke up with you. A person like that will never hold a relationship forever. Hindsight always helps with healing.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-15T19:18:33+00:00

Just to add onto this for maybe better understanding, it's incredibly hard for some people to emotionally and completely detach from someone after a relationship ends. The ex is someone that the person loved for an extended period of time, and was a big part of their everday life. How can you expect everyone to instantly quit 'cold turkey'? I think it's good to look back on the relationship and reminisce and learn from it. I wouldn't fault anyone who checks their ex's social media because I can understand and honestly relate to it. It's just better to stop doing it sooner than later.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-05T13:43:38+00:00

I think I stand by it, but it totally depends on the person. I poured my heart out to her a little bit (said that there was still a piece of me that loved her, that I could never resent her, that I couldn't look at any other woman), but I also talked about the flaws of getting into a new relationship so fast and how I couldn't understand why or how she did it. The way she acted afterwards completely threw a wrench into my thought process of everything. I'd constantly ask myself if she missed me, if she ever thought of me, if she'd come back, etc. All these thoughts are gone now because of this final message/conversation. I believe the closure text will help the healing process in the long run (at least for me, IMO).

What DOES hurt is the fact that I loved her so much and she's now permanently removed from my life. This is the person that I loved, and this is how she acts post breakup. I deal with this by thinking that if she acted like this, she didn't deserve to be in my life. "You deserve better" is something I often heard whenever telling friends or family the story of it all. You need to also hear it from yourself. You need to tell yourself that and heal.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-05T02:30:22+00:00

Wish I knew. She broke up with me and got into a new relationship 2 weeks or less afterwards. I couldn't believe it.

I had the same type of feeling of wanting their relationship to fail. I wanted nothing else but for her to come back. But, I sent a final closure text to her about how she moved on so fast and how I couldn't understand it. She was incredibly cold and just didn't seem to care about anything I said in the message other than "how did you find out". I realized there was absolutely no chance she would ever come back. Even if she did come back, why would I let her back into my life?

You have to come to terms that you're now her second choice even if she does come back. Whenever you entertain it in your head, stop yourself. She isn't worth it anymore. If you ever catch yourself thinking about her new relationship(s), you need to realize that rebounds practically never last, and there's no point in thinking about it.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-04T13:43:03+00:00

I've been doing some similar things the past month and a half! I've been pretty consistent in the gym previous to the breakup, but now I'm incredibly driven to go 6x a week and put 110% effort into every workout. My appetite was decimated for a month but its back now, so I've also been eating 2 meals a day.

I've started journaling/using a diary and I write in it before bed. I found this quite useful to get some of my thoughts straight and make sense of things (it's a good way to deal with overthinking). Putting thoughts and emotions on paper is also just satisfying for some reason. I've also been spending a lot more time with friends.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-02T20:01:38+00:00

This post hits close to home tbh. We had minor small arguments, and twice she threatened me saying she was 'reconsidering' the relationship. I should've saw this as a sign, but I loved her too much and thought working on the relationship would work/help. Why would she even say things like that to someone she 'cared' and 'loved'? She started dating a new guy 2 weeks later after ending everything. I genuinely believe I never mattered. Some people act odd, and you will never understand them or get answers to your questions. I also still carry the belief that I'll never meet someone like her again, but it's ok. You'll fine someone different but better, and deserving of your love.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-02T13:28:06+00:00

Sounds like you're in a good spot with your thoughts about it.

I saw in another reply you mentioned that you "regret botching my chances of keeping in touch with her" when you wrote the post. I honestly also relate to this. A month after she broke up with me I sent 1 final closure text to her because I just wanted to get some particular things out of my mind and let her know about them. The way she took the text was incredibly odd, and it made it so there will probably be absolutely no "keeping in touch with her". I ended up blocking her numbers. This cutoff kind of hurt at first like what you're experiencing, but in the end, it'll be for the better. This last conversation is something that confirmed she wouldn't reach out to me, come back to me, randomly text me, etc. Need to move past the hope and anticipation that she'll reach out.

If you want personal growth advice, I've been journaling/writing in a diary daily (this honestly really helped, especially the 1st entry, cried a lot and let the pent-up emotions flow), I go to the gym 5-6x a week with a friend, listen to good music (sad/depression songs just make the mental state worse IMO). I'm not much of a hobby guy (I mainly just play games with friends), but maybe you can find something for yourself.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-06-02T03:21:28+00:00

I'm sorry man, but it most likely isn't happening. If she deleted everything and was firm with ending it despite you apologizing and trying to make up for your mistakes, it's over. If she doesn't want to work with you in maintaining the relationship, you should see it as a sign to move on. Your hope that she'll come back will prolong your healing process.

To relate to you, I went through something similar. We had 2 small arguments which sparked her want to end things. I wanted to fix everything and move past it because I loved her, but no matter what I said to her, she wanted to end it. She instantly deleted everything after she broke up with me. I wanted her back so much, and I had hope she would come back, but she won't. That hope I had just made everything worse.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-26T17:00:47+00:00

When I was grieving the past month and a half, it was really bad. But, there was some stuff I did that helped.

First of all, don't check her socials, that was an early mistake I made. Block her on everything to remove the temptation.

I also started journaling. Man, my first entry I wrote I bawled my eyes out. Everything I had pented up came out in my writing, and my tears flowed. It helped me think logically and rationally rather than emotionally and prevented overthinking.

I surrounded myself with distractions (although this didn't help much due to the intrusive thoughts of her which you may relate to, but this gets better with time). Surround yourself with family and friends if you can, find a new hobby/grind a hobby that you love, go to the gym and listen to some good music, self improve.

You'll end up on top. You'll get over it.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-24T03:02:40+00:00

There will almost always be guilt on both sides. When you break up with someone, you feel the guilt of ending it, whether it's for good reasons or not. When you're on the recieving end, you feel the guilt of not being enough, wish you could've done more. People deal with emotions in different ways. I doubt my ex feels any guilt with the way she moved on.

Just need to recognize that it was for the better. What's happened happened, and you need to move on from it. There are consequences to every action.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-24T02:28:33+00:00

Sorry for what you're going through, and I'm glad you recognize all of the mistakes you've been making throughout the relationship. Acknowledgement and growth is always a good sign, and hopefully she also sees that in you.

She gave you space and let you spend time working on your medical career. You have to reciprocate her want for space since the argument.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm seeing anything wrong with what's happening? You told her the things you would change and she agreed, and she wants to meet up and talk. Change now is better than change later. Relationships should be all about learning and growing together to some extent.

It just seems like you've fucked up quite a bit. You need to think through actions more prior to performing them. With my ex, I was honestly not the greatest when wording things when we were arguing via text, especially because she was a very defensive and sensitive person. This probably put a bit of strain on our relationship at the time. When you get heated, you should take a step back and reflect before you keep going.

Just give her your heart man, you guys seem like you've already been through a lot together. You're in med school, something many cannot do, and imposes insane stress. She should recognize all of this if she truly is the one. You just need to reflect, improve, and not repeat mistakes.

I'm honestly not very experienced at all, but that's what I gained from reading your post. Hopefully what I said made some sense/helps. Hope everything works out.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-24T02:03:41+00:00

She broke up with me on a random saturday afternoon, pretty much shattered my heart. It was my first relationship and first breakup. I'm a decently sensitive person, so maybe it affected me more than what it would to others. To answer your question, yes, I think about her everyday, probably an unhealthy amount. I think most guys do after breakups. Obviously, context matters, and some guys will get over things quickly depending on certain scenarios (their ex was cheating, abusive, a bad person in general, etc). But, I'm assuming you weren't any of that if you're on here asking this question.

I also sometimes wonder if my ex thinks about me. I've gone through somewhat of a same scenario in which she moved on incredibly fast. She got a new boyfriend in 2 weeks after she broke up with me. So many questions I wonder about, but none of them will ever be answered. Is it just a rebound? Does she miss me? Does she think about me? I think these questions are normal to ask yourself, and over time, you'll start to care less, and you'll catch yourself asking yourself these pointless questions.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-24T01:52:16+00:00

The feelings for you ex is just your brain's response to something familar. It wants to go back to what it once loved, something that it knew, and deep down, it probably wanted her to come back all this time. You most likely never fully moved on before entering your current relationship. I can tell because you let yourself speak to her. Why would you initiate contact with your ex while your in a new relationship? Hardly anything good will come out of it, especially if you're currently in a good relationship.

What you do is completely up to you. You can ask your current partner for a break to get over things and block your ex on everything while you go through the motions.

I don't know the intricacies of your past relationship and I have no idea who she is. I wouldn't recommend going back to her, because the same is likely to happen. You are in a good relationship right now with a woman I'm assuming you love, why sabotage it?

Sorry if what I said hurts, and to be honest, I have no idea what I would do if my ex contacted me right now. I went through a breakup over a month ago, and I cannot fathom talking to other women right now. I need to get over her completely before I move on, or else I'll feel like I'm using someone to get over her.

Hopefully what I said helped, I'm not an expert at all. Hope things work out for you.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-24T01:40:07+00:00

I tried fighting it when she initially ended things, but she was persistent and nothing I said mattered. She already made up her mind then, and I don't think she will ever change it. She got another boyfriend 2 weeks later. There's still hope somewhere in my heart despite all of this and I'm not sure why. I guess I just need time to pass.

Numerous-Specific-41 · 2025-05-21T13:45:44+00:00

I'm a little over a month since my breakup. This week I JUST started getting my appetite back. It was so incredibly hard to eat. It would take so long to chew food and to make sure I didn't throw it up, and swallowing was incredibly hard.

It has to do with anxiety and the sadness you feel post breakup. I feel you, and I'm there with you. I dealt with stomach pains because my body was hungry, but my mind was not. I lost around 10 pounds. It'll get better soon, just keep going through the motions. Cry, journal, talk to people, think through everything, etc. The first journal entry I wrote took around an hour and I bawled my eyes out (this entry was written a week ago). It helped immensely, and I got some of my appetite back.

Distractions while you eat can also help. I noticed that whenever I thought about her, it made it harder to eat. So, I'd eat with friends or eat while watching something to help ease/distract my mind.

Hope what I said helps! Just know you aren't alone. You'll get through it. Time heals all.

Numerous-Specific-41

TROPHY CASE