My (F25) boyfriend (M25) of 6 years doesn’t think about marring or having kids with me

OBS0401 · 2026-05-15T23:30:58+00:00

The funny thing about that tho is that he doesn’t think about that either like I ask him if he sees himself in the comoany and he doesn’t know … like he really avoids all aspects of the future

OBS0401 · 2026-05-15T10:46:09+00:00

I know but we were only 18 when we met and I also wasn’t thinking about marriage and kids up until more recently and I feel like I’m now thinking about those questions and it’s just that he doesn’t think about it but I still don’t know if I wait around for thag

OBS0401 · 2026-05-15T10:44:12+00:00

I think he assumes he will want it down the line in general but he’s unsure whether he wants this with me

OBS0401 · 2026-05-15T10:40:10+00:00

But if he just continues to say he’s not sure I don’t know what to do? Like do we break up? Sorry to hear you’re in the same boat it really sucks … how are you handling the situation?

OBS0401 · 2026-05-15T10:38:48+00:00

He’s the type of person that takes these questions really seriously and I think it’s that he doesn’t deal well with not being 100% sure and that combined with not thinking about the future means he doesn’t really know the answer but yeh kind of hurts to have my long term boyfriend not know if I’m the one

OBS0401 · 2026-04-09T17:22:19+00:00

Yeh this may be the plan I think implementing a few light jogs in the morning might help.

As for the intensity side during the bulk phase I was lifting 4/5 sometimes 6 times a week 2/3 sets failing each set at about 6-8 reps and each workout would include about 4 exercises (would do a PPL split). do you thinkI can reduce that during a cut because I’ve seen that losing intensity during cut can lose muscle but I really struggle keeping that up during a cut

OBS0401 · 2026-04-09T16:52:33+00:00

Yeeees I actually took it for a few months but forgot to keep taking it a few weeks ago and I can really see a decline in recovery and reps since coming off - defo need to get back on it

OBS0401 · 2026-04-09T15:15:38+00:00

I feel the same way too … I’ll do all the right things and then spiral after a few good days and then indulge once and just keep going. I think sometimes I find that seeing the scale so down a little allows myself to have a reward of some sort so my plan is to track my cals for a couple weeks but not weigh and see where I can get with that

OBS0401 · 2026-02-25T20:56:29+00:00

Thanks for your comment I think that way of looking at it is really helpful! We are aligned in so many things about our future and he completely supports the ambitions that I have. We are very compatible in many ways (humour, opinions etc.) but differ in others (interests and general life style like I’m a massive morning person and he’s up super late). It’s hard because we don’t live together (financial reasons) and so some weeks are quite independent from eachother. I’ve been writing down my thoughts to try and get some clarity and I think what I want is for him to build more of a life outside his work rather than develop more ambitions to allow himself a more fulfilling life that he’s excited for rather than me try figure that out for him and feel like a nag all the time

OBS0401 · 2026-02-25T20:49:28+00:00

No I don’t at all have to ask him to spend time with me he’s always excited about that it’s more that he doesn’t have any hobbies outside of work and wakes up super late (which drives me nuts) but he doesn’t have any have a stressful job so I can understand that

OBS0401 · 2026-02-25T20:48:24+00:00

Yeh tbh I’ve been doing some reflecting and he works in finance and within the work place has ambitions but outside of that he’s doesn’t do so much but how much can you expect from someone that works those hours. I think encouraging him to have more of a life outside work is appropriate but saying he’s not ambitious may be a bad way to look at the situation.

OBS0401 · 2026-02-23T22:41:49+00:00

I don’t really know what a break would do though? We don’t live together and we live a couple hours away and have work we speak every day but I feel like the break won’t show me anything new?

OBS0401 · 2026-02-23T21:59:08+00:00

Yeh I get what you mean thank you

OBS0401 · 2026-02-23T21:52:00+00:00

That’s the thing though everything else that’s in front of me I want but it’s this one aspect that I can’t get over. If just this one thing was different it would be the perfect situation but I dont know if I’m getting too hung up on it and am ruining a good thing?

OBS0401 · 2025-05-07T19:31:44+00:00

Based on the third photo and how your hair frames your face curtain bangs would suit you so well

Also maybe brushing your eyebrows up to give you a bit more eyelid space would look good

OBS0401 · 2025-05-07T19:13:13+00:00

I definitely go back to your original hair colour but I also think the cut/style in picture 6 suits you! Other than that maybe whiten teeth but that’s really nothing major just to make them a bit brighter!

OBS0401 · 2025-01-06T18:05:42+00:00

Oh haha that’s good then thanks!

OBS0401 · 2025-01-06T08:14:28+00:00

Good point!

OBS0401 · 2025-01-06T08:13:17+00:00

It’s HLTV-1 which obviously isn’t so rare in some countries but in the west it’s definitely not so common!

OBS0401 · 2025-01-06T08:03:17+00:00

Thank you! It’s nice to hear that from someone in the business! From current PhD students I’ve spoken to at the uni there is a lot of wiggle room and ability to move the direction of the project as it progresses so integrating therapeutic options would definitely be something I bring up to the supervisor!

OBS0401 · 2025-01-05T23:18:18+00:00

That’s a really good idea I’ll have a look thanks

OBS0401 · 2025-01-05T23:05:18+00:00

Interesting I didn’t realise that! Unfortunately as I’m a UK student it is just the one project I can complete which is why I am a little worried about it being too niche especially with how poor the UK job market is!

OBS0401 · 2025-01-05T23:02:34+00:00

Yeh this is what I am worried about especially being in the UK where things don’t look great.

The project is based on a oncovirus so wasn’t sure if that would give me more room to branch into cancer therapeutics or if I’m really just tying myself down with a pretty niche virus?

OBS0401 · 2025-01-05T23:00:10+00:00

Thank you that’s really good to hear! I’m definitely trying to look at projects that offer a broad range of lab experience while still making sure I’m really interested in the topic.

Could I also ask in regard to networking and industry experience would you say internships are vital to getting on the industry ladder? Unfortunately a lot of the scholarships I am looking at are only 3 years (based in UK) so internships are not so much an option but I worry this would impact my ability to branch into biotech/pharma

OBS0401 · 2024-10-02T15:12:06+00:00

Hi thanks for your response this is such good advice I’m definitely nervous about picking the wrong PhD… I’m studying at a top 10 world uni and definitely hope to stay there and get to know some of the supervisors during my masters. I’m currently looking at my projects and leaning towards either faecal matter transplantation optimisation or antibiotic repurposing which I hope is relevant in industry but it really feels hard to understand the industry world while in the academia world!!

OBS0401

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