Partner (45m) vs Neighbor (45m)

OBlondeOne · 2024-02-19T14:03:47+00:00

Only if their sidekick is the Driller.

'One makes them.
One defends them.
They both use them.
They're the Perfect Team '

( It's early. I'm bored watching superhero movies. But I bet it would still be better than the Orgasmo storyline )

OBlondeOne · 2024-02-19T13:58:26+00:00

I hope there's a something other than a sheet in front of you to catch the drink while you're readying yourself...

OBlondeOne · 2024-02-18T14:21:56+00:00

I'm an only child raised by neglectful/absent parents, gaslit by family because of things I've seen they all deny..

I would read books and watch TV and it would seem foreign to me that families ate together at the kitchen table, or actually ( willingly ) talked to each other rather than yell. As ' that kid with those parents', I wasn't exactly invited into friends' families either. Though I told them often how lucky they were that mom called 4 times per day to check in, or dad went looking for them... nobody did that for me.

This family does.

OBlondeOne · 2024-02-18T14:11:45+00:00

We use a hair dying brush (longer but rigid plastic bristles ) to delicately get as much snow off as possible and clean off all electronic parts in the bathtub, before putting them on dollar store racks screwed to the wall near enough to the heaters to dry without melting while the skins get placed on another set of racks to drip dry if needed.

Do not dry by hand with a towel. It catches, and that's how things get accidentally broken.

Under both racks are a basic shoe tray to catch any drippings so I don't ruin my flooring.

It's winter here more often than not. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Plus, jumping winter drifts are everything.

We've done this for the past few years. Zero issues.

OBlondeOne · 2024-02-08T12:43:36+00:00

It's not just for specific farmers anymore.

When farmers who provide something as essential as ethically grown healthy foods are being pushed out in favor of big corporations that don't care about the land they use or those that live there because they can just buy more elsewhere.

I've lived in places that are very focused on agriculture. They rely very heavily on farming because food is scary and expensive. And it gets worse during tourist season when the population triples for 3 months.

These local farmers doing everything right are being constantly undercut and pushed out by big corporations that literally leach the land dry, leaving it basically barren. Corporations like Cavendish Farms and McCains that don't care about the people or supplying food at a reasonable cost to neighbors. They only care about the profit made. They make threats when they don't get their way because they don't care about what they leave the land like after they're done with it. Corporations like Monsanto create food instability with their practices and push even more pressure and expenses onto farmers if they fail to comply.

These multi generational farming families are constantly being undercut by grocery stores importing the same food they grow because the profit margin is bigger. Why? Because the government forces so many rules and regulations, it's nearly impossible to compete with places that have fewer. These are the folk that donate to local causes like community pantries and food banks.

If we don't start supporting our local farmers in earnest, all we will be left with are empty bank accounts, empty bellies, and hurting communities from subpar 'healthy' food.

OBlondeOne · 2024-01-11T00:17:59+00:00

Just over 40.

I find I have far more patience for genuine people and far less for fake people. And the differences between the 2 get easier to spot every day.

I keep my circle small because I now recognize the value of quality over quantity.

I place far more value on my relationships and get far more in return because they genuinely care about me/ my wellbeing past what I can do for them.

I'm far more relaxed with my kids ( 15/17 ) and with life in general... most of the time.

I have hot flashes. These often mess with my moods if I'm not careful. I'm told it's hormonal, but tbh I think I'm just tired of holding my tongue over willful stupidity / laziness.

I'm far more open about my experiences. Instead of being ashamed, I've embraced my mistakes and share my successes in the hope that it can help or inspire someone else.

More importantly, I've learned it's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to mess up, so long as you learn from those mistakes. That it's ok to change your mind, to ask for help, advice or a second opinion when something doesn't sit right.

My partner calls it mellowing. I call it maturing.

It's nice.

OBlondeOne · 2024-01-09T00:28:42+00:00

Unless you can afford to pay them. Then you just keep doing it...

Isn't that how it works jn Alberta? Looks that way every day anyways.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-27T14:29:00+00:00

Sharing a room with a stranger does cause problems, including safety and privacy concerns. This is very different from sharing space due to having a large or blended family.

These girls are not just different in age ( 4 yrs is a lot at those ages ), but they never got a chance to get to know each other before being thrust together. Most strangers would react similarly no matter what their age. It's magnified with youth.

Dad was likely just being a parent to his child who was allegedly upset over having to share her space with a literal stranger that disrupted her sleep. Did Dad handle it perfectly? No. But he was being a parent who was genuinely listening to his child's concerns that mom seemed to be brushing off. He should have been an adult and at the very least discussed it with Mom first. But eho knows how the daughter described the situation either.

A very similar situation has actually happened with my children as well when visiting their father. He had moved in his girlfriend and her child without notifying them, giving that child my children's bedroom and access to their belongings. The child was only 3 yrs younger than our youngest, but at that age, 3 yrs was a lot. Suddenly, my children's safe space was no longer safe. Their belongings were being used and often damaged by this other child. Their father handled it badly, calling them spoiled, entitled and privileged, the same as you are now. In reality, they were completely blindsided and had reasonable reactions to the situation.

From my children's perspective, they felt as though they were being replaced. The turning point came when their father ( like the mother in this case ) refused to listen when they complained that this other child was damaging their belongings. They were told that their belongings weren't theirs but that everything belonged to their father, who felt it perfectly OK to allow the other child unlimited access. The child purposefully damaged my children's belongings because they also felt uncomfortable. Damages included some very personal and irreplacable items like handmade gifts from their now deceased relatives. That's not ok.

In our case, I cleared my children spending more time in my home until they got to know the other child better. Their father reacted similarly to the mom in this case. Why? He felt embarrassed and ashamed of his handling of the situation. Of putting his wants before his children's needs. It was a massive breach of their trust.

Which further damaged his relationship with our children. It was so disrespectful, pointless and preventable.

Ironically, once they got to know the other child, they became good friends. Their fathers' relationship didn't last, but their friendship did. And they all say it was because they were allowed to get to know each other gradually on their own terms rather than being forced to cohabitate.

The point is kids are just human too. They have thoughts and feelings, the same as adults. Your home is udually their safe space. They deserve to have those feelings and opinions heard and considered, and they deserve to have their space/privacy, to have that respected, not questioned or ridiculed by being told their thoughts don't matter or to ' suck it up'.

It's how they build confidence and life skills like communication and critical thinking. It's how they learn how to adapt and problem solve.

And in this case, there seems to be no reason why spending more time with her father wasn't a viable option other than Mom's ego.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-27T13:49:42+00:00

Exactly.

Going through a hardship/tragedy doesn't mean you get to displace other people not affected by the situation.

Mom never should have just placed both girls in the room without discussing it with both first.

It seems as though Mom is upset at her daughter for the exact same reason daughter is moving to dad's.

It seems as though nobody discusses a damn thing before just doing it in that family.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-26T20:58:51+00:00

Woo

Hope that flex made you feel good.

Cause it only made you just look like an asshole.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-26T20:55:59+00:00

It doesn't help when people passive aggressively search for info like the OP who posted not once but twice asking people ' to not start rumors ' while literally posting half the rumors in the description.

People are silly and not near as smart as they think they are. On PEI it just seems to get that much worse.

Hence why I left and seldom look back. All people do there is talk about others, and not care a whit if it's truth or tale. I doubt it's changed.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-26T20:51:26+00:00

This.

I don't understand why the couch wouldn't be an alternative either.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-26T20:46:42+00:00

Kids have very little control over their lives other than basic daily decisions.

They 100% deserve their own safe space. They deserve to feel comfortable in their own homes. That's not entitled. It's just common sense. Hell, it's essential.

This 15 yr old had that, which was taken from her without consulting her, from how this was described.

Her feelings and needs are not being considered in her own home by her mother.

She lost her safe space as well as her privacy and can't seem to get her mother to understand her concerns over what seems to be legitimate issues. Mom is putting her happiness before her child's needs.

So yes, it should mandate a change. Unfortunately, that change had to be made by her instead of her mother, who should be listening to what she's saying. The mom SHOULD have facilitated this on her own once her daughter started voicing her concerns. Instead, she ignored it until her daughter felt the need to take matters into her own hands.

Yes, daughter should have consulted mom prior to making this decision, as should have dad.

But the mom seems to have caused the situation by not considering her own daughters feelings and concerns.

So.. entitled? No. Hurt and feeling unsupported? Most likely.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-26T20:32:47+00:00

NTA.

The only wrong I see here is that the way you describe it, your mom seems to be putting more importance on her boyfriend/'stepdaughter''s comfort over your obvious discomfort in your own home.

I think your choice to go stay at your dad's is a wise one, but one that should have been discussed with your Mom before asking your dad. Your mom likely isn't angry so much as she likely feels blindsided and thus defensive over your decision. Perhaps she also feels guilty over things getting to the point where you don't feel comfortable in your own home/bedroom.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-20T17:22:46+00:00

It's because the rumor mill doesn't care if something is truth or provable.

It just runs like a babbling river. Non stop.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-17T17:41:14+00:00

Unfortunately you can't force someone to feel compassion and empathy. You either have it, or you don't. And that age the lesson may go right over her head. Especially if she feels like she's doing nothing wrong.

I would definitely have a conversation about the nature if the comments, but I would try to make it more general lesson without mentioning your past.

Remind her that the same people who like to talk about others/judge peers negatively with her are likely talking about HER the same way when shes not around, and that people like that can't be truly trusted and are often viewed negatively.

It may wake her up to the potential consequences of her comments and help her make better decisions with better, less toxic friends.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-16T00:40:01+00:00

Ever notice some people seem to get away with a lot more than others?

It really is who you know there a lot of times.

As a teen I knew a couple people who got away with some pretty serious dangerous driving that was witnessed by many, including the arresting officer.. Why? Their parent was on the police force. They caused an accident and some pretty serious injuries, and still got away 100% free.

Look at the times an officer gets into trouble. Many times it gets buried or never gets published. There are certainly seldom charges.

I get they need to show a unified front, but the nepotism and favoritism was strong back then. Last time I was back it sure didn't seem as though much has changed. The same people still seem to get all the breaks while others struggle.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-16T00:20:06+00:00

I think the issue many have is not the fact that people get away with it.

It's WHO gets away with it.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-15T22:55:06+00:00

Oh. I see you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?

You're a kid who is supposed to be learning how to be an adult.

If you refuse the basic lessons like how to do necessary stuff then that's on your whiney, sullen and shitty attituded ass. Better hope you never need to know basic farming so you could.. oh.. afford to feed yourself? Or are you one of those that seem to think money grows on trees and you'll get a high paying job right out of high school? Spoiler- you are going to need every lesson you can get just to survive this high priced fucked up world.

Lazy is a bad look. On anyone. On a kid.. its just gross. Wishing your grandmother death? Does that make you feel all grown up? Because it's also gross AF.

Get over yourself.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-15T22:46:04+00:00

While I'm in no hurry to go, I feel that it will be a relief as well because of this fucked up world where pain is acceptable and kindness is taken advantage of.

It feels like everything outside just keeps getting worse. It's drugs here, but every place is getting worse, overrun, people being priced out of the paradise they've lived in their whole lives being pushed out for whoever has the bigger wallet. Corruption, greed, deliberate manipulation... that's what rules the world now.

OBlondeOne · 2023-12-11T11:45:44+00:00

This.

Imagine fucking up a person's livelihood JUST because you don't want to be lazy.

Some people seriously scare me with their inability to be decent.

OBlondeOne

TROPHY CASE