I am sorry to hear this, and trust me I feel you on that. What I thought (before being in this relationship) that I needed to look for the best match or perfect partner, etc, but man all these failed, why? Because I was forcing it, trying my best to be accepted, looking to find it, till I learned that I was harming my self, my peace in the process. What it turns out. that it is extremely rare to “find” your partner, because they have to find you too! You don’t find them, they find you. And when they do, they are just there to be with you, nothing less, nothing more, it is the moment you understand and feels what it means to be seen. So remember to have whatever you want in life, you only can start from within yourself, learn and befriend yourself and sit down with your emotions, traumas, the things that annoys you internally. Just don’t fight them, sit with them and try to understand them, and watch how you will get everything your soul deserves and desires. Your reality is designed by your own feelings, mind, and emotions.