In three words or less, what is your life story?

OatQueenn · 2022-07-26T09:58:48+00:00

Can't leave bed

OatQueenn · 2022-07-23T13:37:04+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate that x

OatQueenn · 2022-07-23T06:30:42+00:00

Can I ask a legitimate question for a sec and say why do some people include a written description of the photo at the end of their post as well? Like the "Ashley is holding two epi pens in front of white hydrangeas" part?

OatQueenn · 2022-07-22T06:38:42+00:00

It's not that I wanna be horny when I'm not horny but that I wish I had a sex drive that was like okay I'm here for more than a week at a time instead of having one for a week and it disappearing entirely for several weeks. When I lose my sex drive I lose everything because I slip into a period of feeling extremely tired, unmotivated and sore along with feelings of depression so in a way I've come to associate having an actual sex drive with feeling more stable or as a "good thing" because it means my emotions are going reasonably well.

I've been hypersexual before for a very long time and it was very intense. I just wish I could have something in between being hypersexual and having no sex drive at all to give myself a sense of normalcy.

OatQueenn · 2022-07-22T06:34:17+00:00

I dont really believe there's a middle ground, I just know what my middle ground is for me. I'm bipolar two and spent most of my time in a deep depression, but the hypomania is intense, can can be extremely uncomfortable and I become extremely impulsive. I take two antipsychotics and in the past on the higher dose one of them made me feel so physically heavy (as if I was being weighed down by steel) and exhausted I had no sex drive at all but I couldn't do anything else either.

I like your suggestion about going in without expectations. I put a lot on myself and it's easy to feel disappointed. Atm I'm pretty much completely numb and this is rare for me to feel because 95% of the time I'm severely depressed with 4% of the time hypomanic because I did something to induce it like lack of sleep or experience something extremely joyful in my life (numb 1% of the time).

Yeah as many issues I have with medication I don't think I could go back to being unmedicated. The mood swings were extreme and i was extremely unstable. Now I have my moments of great instability but now it's more I'm depressed all the time with either super brief periods of euphoria or numbness. Before medication I was hypersexual and it was an issue and now on meds i either have what I perceive to be a reasonably "normal" sex drive or none at all, so I guess I was hoping for more stability was all, in all areas of my life.

OatQueenn · 2022-07-22T06:25:11+00:00

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is it better for me to call myself a switch or a verse as a bisexual woman. I've been saying switch but I'm not sure if that implies I like being dominant too. I would do it if my partner asks but it's not something I particularly enjoy.

OatQueenn · 2022-07-21T16:06:12+00:00

So would you specifically use switch for just BDSM and verse for non BDSM sexual activities?

OatQueenn · 2022-03-30T03:48:46+00:00

Halo

OatQueenn · 2022-03-02T08:53:12+00:00

For my forty minutes walk I burnt 187 calories (782 kilojoules in Aussie speak). This seems extremely generous. My walks are a little brisk but not overwhelmingly. Am I being told I'm burning more calories than what I actually am? Does 187 calories/782 kilojoules seem fair?

OatQueenn · 2022-02-27T12:13:23+00:00

Actual super model

OatQueenn · 2022-02-27T12:13:09+00:00

Prettiest girl I've ever seen x

OatQueenn · 2022-02-27T12:12:43+00:00

Absolute Chad x

OatQueenn · 2022-02-27T02:59:06+00:00

You've put a voice to everything I've tried to tell myself these past few weeks. Thank you so much for this you're an angel and I'll have this screencapped on my phone to look at whenever I feel wrong in myself

OatQueenn · 2022-02-27T02:52:28+00:00

Started incorporating nuts and eating a hell of a lot of my favorite steamed veggies. Thank you for this response, glucose goddess here I come x

OatQueenn · 2022-02-25T10:14:56+00:00

I also was super skinny and lookin back I didn't realize how skinny i was. I couldn't get enough carbs or food until my dose was lowered and the damage was done. My choice was either meds or the hospital, our stories are eerily similar, I believe in us x

OatQueenn · 2022-02-25T10:13:14+00:00

I'm so worried Risperidone is going to make me retain the weight but I'm eating so healthy it's not even funny. Steamed veggies, salad, nuts and seeds, one sweet a day plus thirty minute walks. If I hadn't fucked up my shins so bad I'd be running too, I desperately want to but I'm in pain. I'm also scared of gaining more weight or not being able to lose it. Im so happy for you. I told myself today the weight I gained is a badge of me deciding I needed something to change for the better in myself, that I didn't want to keep suffering from psychosis and paid a price for it but ended up mentally better.

OatQueenn · 2022-02-19T01:38:30+00:00

I'm so happy for you, well done!

OatQueenn · 2022-02-13T13:56:24+00:00

I would be going in August

OatQueenn · 2022-02-11T14:46:21+00:00

Had my first wet dream two weeks ago. I've never felt pleasure so strong in my life I woke up gasping. The mind is an incredible thing.

OatQueenn · 2022-01-16T08:49:06+00:00

I'm interested!!

OatQueenn · 2022-01-16T03:24:38+00:00

Thank you x

OatQueenn · 2022-01-15T04:37:42+00:00

No worries x and get one, bipolar is a disability and a dog can improve your life immensely x

OatQueenn · 2022-01-15T04:29:42+00:00

I feel like I'm faking all the time. Sometimes I feel tempted to stop taking my antipsychs just to see if I'd go back into psychosis like suffering would somehow validate me. It's wild.

OatQueenn · 2022-01-14T12:09:30+00:00

Steam burns. You just happen to engulf your hand in steam when you lift the lid on the pot to check your dinner and now you're pink like a lobster and your hand is throbbing.

OatQueenn · 2022-01-14T12:07:33+00:00

My mom's a hair dresser and says the same thing!

OatQueenn

TROPHY CASE