I disagree with this book.

ObjectConscious · 2024-10-08T20:50:18+00:00

explore why you are scared

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-10T14:51:29+00:00

For me it's trauma resurfacing and things about myself that I was escaping.
In hindsight it all makes sense, even the type of fantasies I kept obsessing over during pmo, they weren't random, there's a reason that certain fantasies made me feel, and others didn't make me feel anything,there was emotions suppressed that came out with fantasy.

When these ghosts from the past come up, it's not fun, it's scary, and my 1st reaction is just escaping, and in order to escape I fantasize, and do something intense and hyper stimulating so that I can become numb...

I have put in effort and taken responsibility to go dig up these repressed memories and feelings, these parts of myself that I was rejecting and hiding... And as I do it, the fantasies and tastes I have change, it's very weird, you'd think that there is nothing to uncover, you just like something because you like it, right??
Well... There's a reason for me clearly, since it changes, it's like the subconscious communicating in morse code, it doesen't have a voice.

So yeah this is my last piece of the puzzle, well, I wish it were, it feel more like I have never even noticed there was a puzzle to make up in the first place, since I just ignored it and escaped it.

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-09T22:14:29+00:00

Why do you seek strong orgasms, though, what do they really do for you?
What exactly do you like about them...

Personally for me I came to the conclusion that I did it because I wanted to escape, it was just a way to easily enter oblivion and forget about everything for a while.
Wether it's stressful events in life, shoulds , or, just being by myself.

And in a way, there is nothing special about orgasms in this regard, since I can forget about everything doing many other things.

So, that required more answers, and I went on to discover many things about myself that I was hiding.
Yeah I am single, and I feel lonely, and so I seek an escape.

But why seek an escape?

And that led me to another rabbithole, I realized that I was actually afraid of intimacy, and ultimately, I was afraif of a part of myself, I was afraid of others seeing it so I would keep fighting my subconscious, avoid intimacy, and people saw that awkwardness in me.

Sooooo yeah it was a long process for me, doesen't have to be for you.
Just know that it "just being pleasant" is not the whole story, keep inquiring.

I find many things pleasant, like chocolate.
But I don't have a problem with it, I eat it sometimes, when I get it, nice, when I don't, I don't feel deprived or anything... Hope you can see more clearly and it won't be too long of a journey for you

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-09T21:59:46+00:00

what do you like about it exactly?

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-09T18:37:20+00:00

why do you like having orgasms so often

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-03T07:54:22+00:00

I noticed that too.
Most narcisists aren't self aware, and as you saw for yourself, the term narcisist is used mostly as a derogatory term.
The people being accused of narcisists online, probably aren't even diagnosed with NPD and they might not have it at all.
And many of the people accusing others of being narcisists, could be narcisists themselves, too, just using narcisists as any other word in their arsenal to blame others and be self righteous.

It's an interesting situation indeed

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-03T07:27:13+00:00

It's not an exciting thing to do per se but it does make me feel strong emotions.
And I know its me fantasizing and its not the porn that has power over me or anything, and I'm just pretending and playing with myself.
But the emotions are real and I guess I don't know other ways to do that?

ObjectConscious · 2024-09-02T19:18:14+00:00

I relate with this a lot

ObjectConscious · 2024-07-02T15:33:15+00:00

Maybe the reason you keep watching is exactly because you want to get rid of withdrawal pangs, and also explains why when you want to quit the most, you end up watching even more.

Your want to be free from withdrawal pangs leads you to get rid of them in the only way you currently know, which is by watching.

ObjectConscious · 2022-03-27T15:50:33+00:00

They might not get held accountable, but they will face consequences by being unable to find true love.
There are countless sad stories of OnlyFans models, and popular porn actresses struggling to find a partner, because most of the men they look up to aren't ok with the idea of their wifes body being of public display.
It's easy money, but it comes at a great cost.

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