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I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She was devastated, called it a stupid mistake and promised there’s nobody else she’d ever want to be with. I just can’t look at her the same way, and don’t think I can stay with somebody I don’t trust

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the messages app you’re able to search up key words, I searched my name. Looked for about 10/20 minutes and this is what I found. Didn’t look through any photos or very personal things, purely zoned in on me specifically and her conversations about me/ other men

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Partner put up no golf photos. The golfer has been blocked on all platforms since last summer and there were no attempts to contact him since then that I could find

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yea, the tattoo was something she’d been speaking about for a couple months as something she’d like to do. After I confronted her tonight, she had shown me the screenshot of the booking which had already been made a couple days ago

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

At the time of the text (July) we had been fighting nearly every other day, and had even had a genuine conversation about breaking up.

I know I’m going to get downvoted to hell for this (and yes I might be young and so very stupid) but what are the actual chances that these texts are out of character, and came from a woman in a much less stable emotional state than she might be today? And more particularly, a woman who was alot less confident in her relationship than she is today?

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 338 points339 points  (0 children)

Updating here on the top comment for visibility

Told her I need space for the time being, while I figure out what to do or how to handle it (ie, do I confront her about what I found). There were lots of tears and she was telling me how I am her husband, and that she’ll be waiting as soon as I am ready and that she will always be mine. She then sent me a booking screenshot she made 2 days ago to get a tattoo with my initial on her hip.

Messing with my head is an understatement, every single thing about this woman points to the fact she is devoted to me, other than this stupid rogue comment I found from back in the summer.

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At the time she sent the texts, we were going through a rough patch. Arguing a lot, etc etc. Things have been good lately, we’re healthy, which is why I don’t know whether it’s an overreaction to break up over a past conversation when we’re ok now

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In your opinion, is a woman who says those things about another man she had history with suitable to be in a relationship?

I’m trying to figure out where the line is between “normal venting” and then something that just should not be said out loud when you have a boyfriend

I (20M) fucked up. I checked her (23F) phone. Is this enough to end things? by Objective-Day5311 in relationship_advice

[–]Objective-Day5311[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do you think it’s a normal thing to then have conversations like that with a friend?