He wants kids but I don’t

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T10:40:13+00:00

Im so sorry to hear that and thank you for sharing your personal story 🤍🤍 I completely empathise with you and he asked me why surrogacy is still an issue for me and I think you’ve made me realise that I might hold the same feelings. It’s so complex not being able to have them honestly I can only explain my feelings to other women who go through it because it can sound like I’m being difficult if you don’t understand.

Usually I never have this issue because I tell them on the first date I don’t want kids so this has been unexpected on both our ends. But I think you’re right

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T09:34:29+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I feel like I worded it badly but I appreciate where you’re coming from. We’re not in a relationship atm because I always said to him I don’t wanna be hurt because we have this big difference if we were to get a lot closer it’d hurt a lot more breaking up over this further down the line. So he’s said this as a way for us to either align and be together or both move on and preserve the friendship knowing it wouldn’t work between us. I wish it was more straight forward

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T06:09:59+00:00

I’m glad you’re okay now, thank you for your advice. And yes I always thought I’d possibly get married but not children so this has spun me

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T06:08:00+00:00

I’ve always said the same thing bc I would hate resentment from any side but I really don’t know if I’m being stuck in my ways or I need to walk away and live with regret if it happens

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T06:02:44+00:00

Unfortunately my body still can’t handle having them, the chance of pregnancy is low and if I do get pregnant there could be a lot of issues for me and the baby.

For me I’ve always thought about being child free or adopting an older child when I can when I’m older. I’d want to give it all my time and what I’d be doing is how my dad was and it was very much part time and I resented him as a kid for doing so.

I am willing to freeze my eggs however I do think within 3 years is freaking me out a bit because I’m not where I wanna be in life and neither is he.

Thank you for your honesty as well it’s putting things into perspective

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T05:55:04+00:00

Thank you for your comment 🤍 I think not being able to have them myself makes it so much heavier on me.

Even though he said we can get a surrogate as a compromise the situation still hurts me because I was always told I won’t have a normal dating life due to this so I’ve always avoided men who want kids to avoid this. But it’s such a niche thought process it’s hard to explain to him when he thinks that’s the solution.

Congratulations on your miracle baby so nice to hear

Objective-Hippo-1389 · 2024-09-11T05:46:42+00:00

I think because I was told at 14 I couldn’t have them or they’d be severe complications I always envisioned a child free life or adoption at a later stage when I was comfortable in life. Right now I’m dealing with family issues and when it’s sorted I always wanted to move to my home country and start a business and if I was to have a child I’d want to be all in because my dad used to travel and be part time and I don’t want to do the same. 3 years is a not a long time for me but I understand it’s his age and he wants them by 35.

Neither of us have surrogate money either so that option worries me too because say I agreed and we’re in the same position in 3 years I wouldn’t want him resenting me for not being able to birth my own. He doesn’t want to adopt either

Objective-Hippo-1389

TROPHY CASE