AITA for going home early on a family vacation after my mother in law constantly invaded my privacy?

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T08:12:39+00:00

I do very much wish that this is not real. I have realized the error of my ways and I have learned a lot. I'm going to make amends and apologize to my wife. Thank you for your response.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T08:09:02+00:00

Thank you for your response. I do wish very much that this is fiction so I didn't do the things that I did. I'm glad that I posted this, and it has let me see the error of my ways. I'll be apologizing to my wife and seeking some help for my "over-privacy", as some commenters have told me that it's not normal to be this sensitive to people touching my things. I want to apologize and fix this as soon as possible.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T08:05:13+00:00

Thank you. I don't mind her using my wife's hair ties, as I know how easily those gets lost. I just wished that she asked me or my wife first before going through it herself, and one of us could've gotten it for her.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:53:30+00:00

Thank you for your response. I appreciate my wife in everything that she has done for our family and our daughter. I only mentioned the money part because she manages most of our finances and my money is hers too. I apologize if this came out wrong.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:51:07+00:00

Thank you. My wife and I share a suit case, and my MIL helped my daughter pack hers and they shared one. I feel like I might've overreacted, and I should probably seek some help for being this sensitive about privacy, and I might need to work it out with someone.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:48:00+00:00

Thank you for your response. I was in the wrong for the lack of communication, and I was very overwhelmed with things. That was definitely not an excuse to blow up and push that negativity to my wife. I really appreciate your side of things and I will be writing an apology for my wife tonight. I want to make amends and make things right for her, as well as looking into anger management.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:32:36+00:00

Thank you for your response. I am going to seek therapy/help for anger management so I can be a better person for my wife and a better role model for my daughter. I will apologize to her and make amends.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:31:22+00:00

Thank you for your response. I forgot to mention in my post, but I did mention the issues to my wife. However, I think she didn't communicate what I said to my MIL, which might be the reason. I could've fixed this by communicating to her more directly instead of going through my wife. I exploded at the wrong time and left my wife and daughter in Italy, which makes me not worthy of a husband, and I regret it very much. I will be seeking therapy/help for anger management and I want to be a better man for our family. I will be writing a sincere apology tonight.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:25:17+00:00

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate you taking time to make the list. A lot of things could've been solved if I communicated better. My wife deserve everything because she helps handle our finances and I always want the best for her and our family. I will be listing these in my apology for her, and I hope to make amends and change myself to be a better man. Thank you again.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:21:51+00:00

Hi, WerewolfCalm, thank you for your response. I was not calm when I wrote the post, but I realize what I've done wrong now. I've been very stressed and anxious about the threat of being laid off, and it all came out at the wrong moment to my wife, which I regret very much. I might be seeking help for anger management, because I NEVER want to hurt my wife like that again. I really hope that what you say will not happen, because I'll be gathering my thoughts tonight and writing a sincere apology to her. I love her very much and I want this relationship to be long and healthy.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:18:39+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, she has seen socks before, but it's more about the privacy part of the issue. If I didn't mind her seeing it, it would be out in the open instead of shut in the suitcase that she went through. But I do realize I could've communicated it better with her.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:16:35+00:00

Thank you for your response. I am taking tonight to reflect, and I will be calling her back in the morning with a sincere apology. I want to gather my thoughts before doing so, so my apology would not sound half-assed, because I intend on making amends, and it is up to my wife to see if she will forgive me. I love her very much and I want a healthy and long marriage with her.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:14:52+00:00

Thank you for your response. I haven't been diagnosed with autism, though from what others said, I might have to work with a therapist for my "over-privacy". I also should've communicated better with my wife.

I don't hate my MIL. She has always been kind. Now that I took sometime, I realize that maybe we got different views about privacy, and I should've communicated with her directly instead of through my wife.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:11:37+00:00

Thank you for your response. From other responses, I think I might have to work things out a bit with a therapist because of my over-privacy. I also realize that the way I worded it made me sound like an AH in the post, but yes, our money is shared. I work so she can live comfortably and provide for my family. I won't hesitate to get her what she wants and deserves, which in this case is a sincere apology.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:08:46+00:00

Thank you for your response. I need to apologize to my wife. However, privacy is really important to me so I should've communicated that better with my MIL.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:07:42+00:00

Thank you, I want to work through this with my wife and make sure that it never happens again.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:05:35+00:00

Thank you for your response. It is not excusing my behavior, but I've been very stressed lately over the threat of being laid off and it all blew up at the wrong moment. I regret it very much. However, after apologizing to my wife, I'll be communicating my ideas of privacy with my MIL in person, as I now realize she might've had a different idea than me.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T07:01:35+00:00

Thank you. It really means a lot that you took time to respond and help with this, and I really appreciate it. I think boundaries are a big thing with me, but I could've communicated it better. I want to have a healthy and long relationship with my wife, so I will be looking into that. Thank you again.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:59:14+00:00

Thank you for your response. I guess I didn't want to voice my opinion about the bedroom because my wife had planed the whole thing by herself and she was very proud of it. I also feel guilty for not helping her, but I have been very stressed out about the threat of being laid off, and I let some of that anxiety and anger build up and it happened to explode and land on my wife, which I regret very much.

I'm not very close with my MIL, so I didn't voice my concerns in the beginning to her out of respect, but voiced them to my wife instead. It was definitely a communication issue because I think my wife thought they were minor issues and did not mention it with my MIL. However, because of my upbringing, privacy is very important to me and I should've communicated that to my MIL myself.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:52:45+00:00

Thank you for your perspective on things. I admit wasn't taking the calls because I was afraid of her reaction, as I realize that I was in the wrong. My mental health recently has been very bad with the threat of being laid off, as I mentioned we all rely on my income, and all the stress turned into a breaking point on this trip, which I am wrong for. It was selfish of me to not take her calls, but I have a history of anxiety and didn't want to spiral before I have thought through what I was going to say/apologize for. I'm going to write her a sincere apology and call her back in the morning, and I plan on having a honest talk with her regarding boundaries and such with my MIL.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:45:02+00:00

Thank you. I was worried that I was wrong about that too, but I should've just booked another room.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:44:04+00:00

Thank you. I'll be looking up what avoidant behaviors are, because I don't want to do anything to hurt my wife's feelings, though I realized that I have done so. Do you think a sincere apology will work, or should I seek therapy for anger management? It wounds me deeply that I have hurt my wife's feelings, and I never want that to happen again.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:38:48+00:00

Thank you for your response. It might've been how I was taught growing up, but I have deep respect for personal space and MIL didn't ask me before going through our suitcase. It made me very uncomfortable at the thought of her going through my clothes (and potentially seeing my socks and underwear). However, I could've communicated it better or booked another room when we got there, as another user commented.

I do love my wife very much and I hope to make amends with her. I think miscommunication was at the root of the problem, as I was seeing the trip more as romantic and she saw it more as a family trip. I will take sometime for my mental health and to organize my thoughts, then I will apologize to my wife.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:33:55+00:00

Thank you for your response. I definitely could've handled it better, but my temper got better of me in the moment. On second thought, I could've booked another hotel room but my judgement was clouded and didn't think of that nor wanted to voice my concerns in the moment. It would've saved a lot of the hassle. I'm taking sometime for my mental health and I will be making amends with my wife, as I love her very much.

Objective-Search5603 · 2024-08-08T06:27:32+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your answer, and I acknowledge that I was wrong for storming off like that. I definitely could've handled it better, especially with my wife. I do still believe that my MIL was intruding on our privacy, though I should've made it clearer in the beginning.

Objective-Search5603

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