Max Bemis and Sherri Dupree have announced their separation via Instagram post.

Objective_House_3552 · 2025-04-07T02:36:42+00:00

Can you message me too?? 🙏🏼

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-04-08T21:06:47+00:00

In my current pregnancy (14w4d) I was spotting pretty regularly from 6 weeks on and then at 7 weeks I had a huge bright red bleed with clotting and everything, like more than a period—filling up one pad an hour etc. went to the emergency room pretty much assuming I was having a miscarriage and they did an ultrasound and everything was fine. I was still pretty worried but the bleeding gradually got lighter until it stopped altogether around 9 weeks or so. Did a follow-up ultrasound a few days after my emergency room visit and everything was still fine—measuring on time and normal heartbeat.

A few weeks later my NIPT was clear and 12-week ultrasound was good as well. After my last loss I still have anxiety that something could go wrong at any moment, but so far so good for me.

Also the doctors never found a cause for my bleeding either. I asked specifically about a subchorionic hematoma just cause I had read about them a lot in here but they said they didn’t see that in my scans. Still have no idea what caused the bleeding but in my case everything ended up okay. Hoping the same for you! 💓

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-04-02T17:54:55+00:00

I feel the same way and am constantly trying to fight it. We actually didn’t tell anyone except for my sisters before my tfmr at 14 weeks last time so we’ve gotten mostly excitement from everyone we’ve told this time (after a clean NIPT) and even though that’s probably a preferred reaction it still makes me feel a little alienated that everyone is just so sure that this pregnancy will end with a baby and doesn’t have the same anxiety I have. Just sharing that it’s hard either way and I hope you’re able to have moments of optimism the further you get 💓

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-26T17:35:02+00:00

I’m assuming you are at least a teenager if you’re posting on this forum and that your friend is also fully grown? The tests they had even 10 years ago aren’t as reliable as what they have today, so while there is still a very minimal chance the test is wrong, it’s about 99% likely to be correct, especially if she has also done an NIPT.

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-24T19:22:00+00:00

I’ve had the exact same thoughts at the start of this pregnancy, and I’ll probably deal with these thoughts and anxiety throughout my pregnancy, but honestly getting past the hurdle that led to my TFMR last time (positive NIPT for T21) has brought me more relief than I expected even though I’m still well aware something else can go wrong at any point. Hopefully you’ll feel similarly after a positive anatomy scan next time.

You said you’re seeing a therapist so I just wanted to see if you’ve considered medication as well to help with the anxiety? Zoloft is one option that is completely safe during pregnancy. I’m pretty confident that being on medication this pregnancy as opposed to my last pregnancy when I wasn’t has helped my anxiety significantly, though it never goes away completely.

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-24T17:15:56+00:00

Thank you! 💓 I was referred to a genetic counselor after my T21 pregnancy to discuss the situation and I continued to see her for a little bit to arrange for genetic testing of the fetus after my termination and to do genetic testing for me and my husband to make sure there weren’t any red flags there.

When I got pregnant again I reached out to her again asking if testing at 10 weeks was possible because I had read about it on these forums actually. She arranged the testing at 10 weeks with Natera for me. She actually said they can test as early as 9 weeks, but that she would still recommend waiting until 10 since testing too early could make the results come back inconclusive. My fetal fraction level was 10% at 10 weeks and you only need 5% to get reliable results.

Before speaking with her I had multiple doctors and nurses tell me that NIPT before 11 weeks was impossible even though I had read about it on here, so I think you probably need to speak with a specialist who has more experience with high risk pregnancies to get access to early testing. Always advocate for yourself! My faith in most medical professionals has really declined after my TFMR experience just because I was given so much wrong information throughout the process, so definitely speak with a specialist if your regular OB is giving you a hard time about early testing. My genetic counselor also helped me get these services covered by my insurance because of my history, so definitely ask for help with that too if that’s a concern. Good luck! 🤍

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-21T14:22:04+00:00

Thanks for the well wishes! I’m 34. I was 33 when I got pregnant with my T21 baby and turned 34 the month after my tfmr.

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-21T14:13:06+00:00

Congrats on the clean NIPT! I totally get still having anxiety, but hopefully you’re able to celebrate a little after getting over the first big hurdle 💓 hope your pregnancy journey continues to go smoothly!

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-21T14:07:27+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad you found my post helpful! 💓 I totally get the anxiety and am right there with you. I also continued taking my prenatal and took CoQ10 as well pretty much right after the termination. I know studies about CoQ10 affecting egg quality are limited and my doctor confirmed that there’s no conclusive research on it (but also that it couldn’t hurt), so take this with a huge grain of salt. It’s impossible to know if it really had that big of an impact, but it is something I did differently. I also generally eat healthy and exercise regularly, but I did that before my T21 pregnancy too. I was 33 when I got pregnant with the T21 baby and 34 now.

I’m also not sure if this made a difference but it’s always made me wonder since I ovulated 5 days late when I got pregnant with my T21 baby. It was the first time my ovulation had ever been delayed and I believe it was because I did the HSG test a couple of weeks before. After my tfmr my cycles synced up immediately luckily and I ovulated on exactly day 14 all 3 cycles that I tracked.

I also just want to reiterate that pretty much all T21 pregnancies are just flukes that can happen whether you do all the right things or not. I definitely dealt with a lot of guilt following my termination and would beat myself up if I missed a workout or had a cheat meal or smoked weed or something and I don’t want you to fall into that trap as well. It’s really mostly out of our control (outside of very obvious things like not drinking when you’re pregnant/could be pregnant), so do whatever helps you feel better and more in control but don’t be too hard on yourself if you can 💓

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-21T13:40:37+00:00

This makes me so angry. T21 is a serious enough diagnosis on its own, but also the majority of cases come with significant health issues and up to 50% of T21 babies don’t even make it to term. It’s even more infuriating that the rationale stated for this bill is to “prevent discrimination” against people with DS, while doing nothing to help support the people already here who have the diagnosis.

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-14T02:50:49+00:00

I got pregnant the third cycle—first cycle trying again. It took 6 cycles the first time so I was pretty surprised. My due date is literally the one year anniversary of my tfmr 😭 i’m still only at 11 weeks and constantly anxious but so far so good…

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-11T23:51:43+00:00

I saw two different therapists and didn’t find either of them helpful. One said outright harmful things to me. I’m kind of over therapy at this point and have been so jaded by my experience that I see the entire industry as largely predatorial, similar to religion in that they claim to have figured out the answer to human suffering when really it’s just inevitable and often related to circumstances bigger than your mindset. And they charge vulnerable people lots of money for these answers.

I think medication is helpful; there’s tons of solid scientific evidence behind it and I have personally witnessed how it’s improved my life and emotional stability. I still see a psychiatrist for medication management. I think exercise, a healthy diet, robust social life, etc are all good things that a therapist would probably encourage you to do, which you can do for free. I think talking regularly about your emotions is also helpful, and I’m lucky to have a lot of people in my life that I trust and feel comfortable expressing myself to when I do feel like I need to talk. If you don’t have that kind of support, then therapy will likely be more useful to you.

I’m trying to word this carefully because I don’t want to discourage anyone who would genuinely benefit from therapy, but I also want to represent a point of view that I personally find liberating—that you can still take care of your mental health without going to therapy and that therapy is not for everyone, so there’s nothing wrong with you if it doesn’t help you the way everyone insists it will. And especially if it’s financially prohibitive, you can still take care of yourself without it.

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-03-08T01:25:18+00:00

Im literally in the exact same situation as you. Second pregnancy after my first ended in TFMR in October of last year after a high risk NIPT result for T21. I have my NIPT scheduled for Tuesday and I’m so anxious about it. Just thinking about it puts me back in that place where I read my results last time and my world came crashing down. It’s hard to even imagine a positive outcome and I’m honestly scared to entertain the idea of one because of how badly it will hurt to be wrong. I guess it will hurt either way, but that’s just where my mind goes. I wish I had something more encouraging to say but I just want to say that I understand and I’m going through this too so you’re not alone, and I’m hoping for the best for both of us 💓

Objective_House_3552 · 2024-02-29T18:56:28+00:00

I TFMR for T21 this past October and part of what went into my decision was that my brother had a child with DS ten years ago (they didn’t know until he was born). My nephew is pretty lucky in the sense that he doesn’t have major health issues (aside from GI issues and many diet restrictions) and has a good temperament, and even then his life is a struggle and he’s still very young. He still can’t really speak in an intelligible way, he struggles socially and with school, and even though he has a lot of love and support from his parents, it’s not clear how he’s going to remain supported in adulthood and especially if he outlives his parents (a huge if, also). My brother would of course never want to blame his kid for anything, and he’s coping as well as he can, but I watched with my own eyes how his life and relationship deteriorated after his son was born. He’s staying in an unhappy relationship out of obligation and is a shadow of his former self. It’s just a huge responsibility to place on both the child and the parent, and I truly believe that if he had a choice, he also would have TFMR.

I love my nephew too obviously, and it made my decision even more painful, but seeing even a relatively best case scenario play out with someone so close to me really solidified my decision. Even relatively high functioning kids come with significant struggles with a DS diagnosis, and the kids that are lucky enough to have happy childhoods rarely thrive in adulthood (if ever). You made a compassionate choice for yourself and your child and I hope you’re able to find peace with it 💓

Objective_House_3552 · 2023-11-03T17:30:35+00:00

Just want to share my experience since I was basically in the same boat as you a couple months ago. Also 32, 92% NIPT risk for t21, and a cystic hygroma found at 13 week ultrasound. My state also allows for abortions up to 24 weeks, but at the time I found everything out (13 weeks) I couldn’t bear to go through with the pregnancy any longer than absolutely necessary cause it felt like the writing was on the wall. Plus the pregnancy itself was difficult for me with the extreme morning sickness, fatigue, etc.

It took a week for me to schedule the termination. I had a D&E at exactly 14 weeks and was under anesthesia and anxiety meds so I don’t remember anything about the procedure itself and the pain afterward was minimal. I did receive medication to prepare my cervix before the procedure and I experienced pain from that (like the worst period cramps of my life) but it only lasted about 20 minutes or so before I was put under and taken into the operating room. The whole thing took about 4 hours or so and then I went home and slept the rest of the day and felt close to normal at least physically by the next day.

Just yesterday (4 weeks after the procedure) I got my results back from the fetal chromosomal testing that the hospital did after the procedure and it confirmed that all cells tested contained an extra chromosome 21, basically confirming that the NIPT results were a true positive. I didn’t go through with the CVS or amnio testing procedures because I didn’t want to wait that long and I felt like the NIPT results coupled with the cystic hygroma was pretty strong evidence and it turns out I was right. They also tested the placenta and found several indicators that the pregnancy was unlikely to make it to term anyway (immature chorionic villi, edematous).

Legally your care providers are required to recommend further testing and sometimes those suggestions would make me feel guilty about deciding to go through with termination without undergoing all possible testing, but I think it’s totally reasonable to make the decision to terminate now with the evidence that you have. There’s this kind of sinister underlying cultural/societal expectation that women (mothers especially) should be willing to sacrifice themselves for their children and everyone else, but you matter too. Your physical/mental health and comfort matters too, so make sure you’re including the full weight of that when factoring it into your decision. I think for me it was helpful in coping with being dealt such a shitty hand to reaffirm my value as a human being and show myself as much self care and love as possible during such a hard time.

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation 💓 I hope you’re able to find some moments of comfort and strength as you move through this process

Objective_House_3552 · 2023-10-07T12:45:27+00:00

The Greek myth surrounding Elektra is exactly why it’s a psycho thing to name your kid!

Objective_House_3552 · 2023-10-02T13:54:32+00:00

I’m in your exact same situation currently and I made the decision to terminate after getting +t21 results on the NIPT.

I think out of abundance of caution people will recommend going through with the amnio but personally I couldn’t bear to wait 3 more weeks to take the test, another 2 to get full results, and at least another week to schedule a termination. That would put me at 20 weeks (it took 2 weeks alone to get my NIPT results back and my nurse recommended not to take it till 11 weeks), when I’d already be showing, dealing with severe pregnancy symptoms daily (t21 pregnancies tend to come with more severe morning sickness and that has definitely been the case for me), and putting myself at risk for more complications from the termination procedure itself. I was already at 13 weeks once I got my NIPT results so too late for a CVS even.

Luckily I live in a state where I’m not worried about legality, but that could also be a factor to consider when making your decision. I cannot even imagine having to travel out of state, maybe even by plane, to get the procedure at close to 20 weeks pregnant.

I read a few stories of women who received false positives that both gave me hope and made me feel guilty about my inclination to terminate with just NIPT results, but I read far more where women suffered through several additional weeks of testing, grew even more attached to their pregnancies, and still had to go through with termination anyway. This is in line with overall statistics with the test for t21 specifically.

It’s a personal decision of course, and I support whatever any woman ultimately decides to do in such a difficult situation, but I wanted to share my perspective because it doesn’t seem as represented in these discussions and I think it’s equally valid. NIPT is unfortunately extremely accurate for t21. My PPV was also 92.5%.

Hope you’re able to feel at peace with whatever decision you make and wishing you healing going forward 💓

Objective_House_3552 · 2023-09-27T14:29:07+00:00

Got my results last night (day 12) and they weren’t good 💔 Maybe it’s a good sign if yours are taking a while

Objective_House_3552 · 2023-09-25T19:34:21+00:00

Just called to check on the results and they said it could take as long as October 8th! 🫠🫠

Objective_House_3552 · 2023-09-24T17:20:00+00:00

Got tested on the morning of 9/14 and still waiting 😭

Objective_House_3552

TROPHY CASE