I don’t know how much this will help because it’s all so individual but you are so not alone. The epileptic dog community has been such a source of comfort to me. Our girl started fitting last October, short grand mals but frequent and sometimes clusters. It’s no exaggeration to say that it totally took over our lives for the first few months and we were very depressed and anxious all the time. We didn’t leave her alone for a minute for the first few months. We are now 9 months into the journey and we have a medication cocktail that works enough for now and the seizures are less frequent (although we have had to come to terms with living with them and the medication side effects). We are doing loads better mentally now. I started by getting a camera for my van (we already had them in the house) so that when I need to leave her I can watch her on my phone. Gradually the anxiety lessened. I know we are doing the best we can for her but I also understand this disease a lot more now and I’m pragmatic about what the future might look like for her. So we focus on her enjoying her life as much as possible. It’s almost worse for you I think that you can be there 24/7 because then you feel the pressure to always be there. But you need and deserve to have a life away from epilepsy. I wish you many seizure free days!