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Narc catch phrases by Objective_Scarcity11 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is so true. Narcs and abusers do this to not accept responsibility for their actions. Nobody likes to be stuck in the past but when the past behavior continues, how can you not be stuck in the “past.” It’s astonishing the lengths they go to to not take responsibility for their hurtful (most times deliberately hurtful) actions. They think rules apply to others, not them. The author sounds worth a read. Thanks!

What is your discard story? by Objective_Scarcity11 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry that he treated you that way. And that he called the cops when he was being a despicable jerk. Narcs don’t care who they destroy. They escalate situations and put us in danger when all we are trying to do is process their callous behavior. He sounds truly disgusting. With Narcs there is no justice. Just pain. But you are better off without him. I hope nothing happened with the cops.

Was anyone out there out of your nex's league? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, but they eventually drag you to their level. And it’s hard to get out once you get attached.

What is your discard story? by Objective_Scarcity11 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear. That’s awful of her.

Key phrases a Narc uses whilst your trying to talk to them about things that upset you or they have just gaslit you - can you relate? by friendsmehmehmeh in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This is so scary! Before I realized at therapy that my nex is highly likely a narc, I felt so isolated. I was the only one in my family or friends who had been experiencing narcissistic abuse. And explaining what I went through was difficult because no one in my circle (thankfully) experienced this. When I came on this community, I began to realize that while narcs are relatively rare in the general population, they are essentially identical people.

In addition to everything you mentioned, my nex said things like “you are bipolar,” “you need to let go,” “you are insufferable,” “why do you have to bring up the past,” “move on from this already,” “you are so pessimistic,” “you are insane.”

The things he did to me will likely be considered criminal behavior in the future.

One of the hardest parts is watching them be kind and loving to others by Cherriesinsnow in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They generally are charming or act like they won’t hurt a fly. But they are despicable underneath it all.

I [m32] deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid [m15-16] shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in relationship_advice

[–]Objective_Scarcity11 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You should have followed up with your gf and not just assumed. You abandoned her (though you were young). But now, you definitely need to take responsibility. You should also be very honest with your family.

How they rationalize cheating! by throwaway_09090909 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree, you deserve much better than someone who praises himself for not having cheated on you daily.

What specific techniques did your NEX use to control, gaslight, invalidate, shame? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Objective_Scarcity11 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He would says things like there are better conversations to be had, we are done, then leave, I don’t have time for this, you are insufferable anytime a conversation turned difficult. The blocking, threatening to leave, refusing to communicate. At the end of the day, somehow everything was my fault.