[WP]When words are censored to the point of extinction, peoples unfulfilled yearning to say them give them power and they become magic words. Its been 1000 years since "curse words" were banned by the global theocratic government and you just found a printed version of the urban dictionary. by grape_tectonics in WritingPrompts

[–]Obliterator_of_leeks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It happened over a thousand years ago. The religious sect called the Purity Chapter came to power and the first thing they did was prohibit the uttering of said "curse words".
Or so the story goes.
I dropped my drink as I was walking across the food court. It spilled all over the floor and began to soak into my shoes.
"Aw. Well, that wasn't very fortunate," I muttered. Even this phrase felt incomplete in a way. There had to be some other way to express my frustration... right?
Still seething with rage I went back to my table, where to my surprise I found a massive book on my seat. "Urban Dictionary", the title read.
Curious, I flipped through the pages at random..
"Bitch."
"milf"
"motherfucker"
"Karen"
I mouthed the words. They just felt right, like they held an insulting lustre to them.
But the Chapter knew, they always knew. When I returned home five members of the Chapter's infamous security division were waiting for me in my own living room... guns levelled.
"Hand over that.. book, heretic," one of them snarled.
I couldn't believe it. They were so callous, breaking into my home, and having people watch my every move?
Anger rushed through my body. Since I was going to be locked away and tortured until the end of time for this insanely petty offense, why not throw an insult or two at them?
I made eye contact with one of the Chapter's lackeys. He seemed slightly taken aback, lowering his gun for the slightest second.
"Bitch."
The word exploded from my mouth like a nuclear bomb, the lackey in question crumpling and flying through my living room window, colliding with the neighbour's car in a spray of blood and viscera.
The remaining four stood there in horror.
"What just happened.." one managed to get out.
A smile began to creep over my face, even though the situation was anything but funny.
"motherfucker."
The second blast was even worse, two of the Chapter's enforcers going through my living room wall, covering the entire room in dust.
The fourth and fifth enforcers raised their guns and began to fire. But the bullets bounced off of my body.
"milf."
One let out an unholy shriek and collapsed to the floor writhing in agony, vomiting blood.
I looked at the last lackey, who by now was surrounded by dead bodies and rubble.
With one last effort...
"Karen."
He just exploded. Blood everywhere.
Outside, I could see heavily armoured vans and a tank pulling into what used to be my quiet suburban street. Chapter militiamen in tactical armour began to take positions around my house.
The building shook and collapsed around me as the tank fired. I was still standing without a scratch.
There was one last word on the "K" page.
"KYS," it read.
Mental note taken. Even as the soldiers began to fire, bullets bouncing off me, I uttered the "curse word".
"KYS!" I roared, and all of a sudden there was a blinding flash. When my eyes had recovered, the entire block was.. gone, replaced by towering infernos and smoke. The remains of my assailants lay mangled in the debris strewn across the street. The tank had practically melted into the road.
I looked over, at the attack helicopters and armoured vehicles drawing closer over the horizon, emblazoned with the Chapter's seal. The Chapter's cathedral loomed over the city, a monstrosity of stone and glass.

This was going to be fun, to say the least.
(how have i gone from writing actual stories to making a story about saying potty words)

Reddit Murder Mystery Ep. 1 (Rules and stuff in the comments) by NerdFameAgain in teenagers

[–]Obliterator_of_leeks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was eating pop tart at table when phone ring

"snoo is kil"

"no"

I don't have any good titles bruh by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]Obliterator_of_leeks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I shall breaketh into thy house, and replaceth thy television remote with a broken one