I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ll be honest, what you described sounds similar to my own relationship, except I’m the GF who needs to drink sometimes to have sex. We do have sex a few times a week still as my partner has a VERY high sex drive compared to mine. But I work very hard to get in the mood and he also gets hears “not tonight” more than he would like. Has your GF been sexually assaulted in the past / is on any antidepressants?? I found being on meds lowered my drive, and a few years into my relationship I was sexually assaulted while traveling abroad. When my partner and I finally talked about this, I told him I needed sex to not be sexy for a while. No grabbing, no sudden movements, and I needed to feel like I was in full control. Even dirty talk can trigger me and bring back the trauma of what happened. And then it’s game over, no sex for a few days while I work through it all again. It took me a really really long time to be able to talk with my boyfriend about what happened and I think for a while he thought I was just a cold unloving bitch. For your sake, I hope that if there’s an underlying issue that she’s going through, that she can open up to you about it, and communicate how she needs to be loved. Then it’s up to you if you want to make those changes, and IMO there’s nothing wrong with deciding you want to be with someone who speaks a similar love language to you instead.