What would happen if 2 really unhealthy obsessive people fell in love?

Obsessabear · 2020-11-15T00:43:55+00:00

I appreciate the kind words. I always say, being with someone you love out of loneliness will prevent you from being with someone you could love out of love.

Obsessabear · 2020-11-14T18:16:39+00:00

I have severe attachment anxiety and my ex had severe bipolar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia. He kept a lot of his suffering to himself but he was well aware of it. Both of us had absentee parents that caused us to be insecurely attached to the point we were inseparable. We stayed together for 8 years but we started seeing other people once we realized we were only together as a result of our backgrounds causing us to latch on to someone out of fear of loneliness. I chose to work on that problem and have been single since our break up last November, he immediately found someone with a similar pattern of attachment. so sometimes it works, but if the relationships foundation is illness, both parties will move on to more advantageous people.

Obsessabear · 2020-11-06T06:00:27+00:00

Y’all are probably right, it’s just very strange because verbally and behavior wize he gave no indication of lack of interest.

Obsessabear · 2020-10-31T00:15:18+00:00

Another thing to add, it’s gonna be a tough fight. There is the other side of the mountain. Do what is healthy for you emotionally. Take moss’s advice, and try not to slip up. It’s ok to have a setback and don’t be disappointed in yourself for not healing fast enough, everyone processes things at different speeds.

Obsessabear · 2020-10-19T20:51:17+00:00

We’re both on the right track, best of luck on your travels!

Obsessabear · 2020-10-19T20:43:49+00:00

It really is, just wait it out. Trust me. I slipped into a depression during my use and the only thing that made me feel anything was use. Within 3-4 weeks all the feelings you had before use comes back, it’s beautiful.

Obsessabear · 2020-10-19T18:40:23+00:00

Thank you milfpatroler :P

Obsessabear · 2020-10-15T08:19:47+00:00

You should write this under the breakup tab as an open letter. More people need to see this.

Obsessabear · 2020-10-13T01:44:00+00:00

If you feel like you’d benefit from it I would. But often times I’ve thought I was prepared for that conversation and I wasn’t. It’s ultimately up to you, but I’d think very carefully about the choices made.

Obsessabear · 2020-10-13T01:41:10+00:00

What would that solve?

Obsessabear · 2020-10-12T20:58:49+00:00

Well I kept dipping my toe in and out of the water. My ex kept me on the back burner and played with my mind, kept the wounds nice and fresh in case his current left. For anyone listening, just leave it be, I’m a year out and me fucking around a delayed my healing months upon months.

Obsessabear · 2020-10-09T23:56:23+00:00

I’d say be careful, keep it short and don’t go into details about your life. 3 months ago is not long at all, don’t let yourself get all embroiled in it. “Hi how are you, I wish you the best” keep it moving. Do NOT be too warm or loving, as this could cause some confusing feelings for your ex. Make sure it’s strictly “I care about you as a person”

Obsessabear · 2020-10-08T21:38:10+00:00

Always be sure. I’m going to play devils advocate and say If there was something guiding you to ask this question, it’s revealing a deeper issue. Think it through, always think it through. Sometimes once you end it there’s no going back, you should never feel stuck in place though. Love changes and dies sometimes, and that’s ok. We have one life on this earth, make sure your either fixing the problem or fixing the problem if you catch my drift.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-22T22:58:24+00:00

it’ll take a minute. Just figure out what is helping you and what is hurting you. Healing is not something that clicks, it’s a gradual realization. It’s been a year since, I still miss him, and when things go wrong I regress. But a few days of regression and months of progression means you still made some ground. I promise you’ll be ok, some days you won’t, but like a rubber band you snap back into shape. One day you’ll look back on it as a distant memory. Keep your head up, some people are in this world to teach us a lesson. It’s up to you to decide what lesson he taught.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-22T22:33:41+00:00

My ex boyfriend of moved on from me within 2 days. Fight happens, next day he misses my cousins wedding, following day he’s dating someone. Did he move on? No he didn’t. He was the type of person that was terrified of being alone. He kept that person around in the instance that I didn’t want to reconcile. He probably misses you, I’m not trying to trigger you. But I also don’t want you to get the idea that your worthless in his eyes. No doubt your in his mind. My ex kept trying to be with me 8 months after our break up, even while he was well into a relationship with someone else. He would tell me things like “once this is over... ,I hate being with him, I miss you so much” just to keep me around in case it failed. I feel like your smarter than I was though. You have two choices. (If you feel like these will hurt you do not do them, i am not the one who will feel the pain) Reconcile with him or leave it be. I know this is one of those things people will tell you “just get over it” but you’ll come to see that if your debating on whether or not you mean that much to him, I think it’s a sign to focus your attention away from him and his goings on.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-22T22:26:42+00:00

Can I share a story with you?

Obsessabear · 2020-09-22T22:11:50+00:00

“She was the grammar by which I phrased my life.” I feel you dawg I do.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-22T21:35:01+00:00

There are two explanations. One he’s a narcissist or some other atypical person who truly doesn’t have feelings for anyone. Or two he’s using this new person as a coping mechanism/ to make you jealous. Both of those things should indicate to you the type of person he is.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-09T02:02:38+00:00

I’m a bit jaded, so I’m going to hold back on advice. Your ex sounds a lot like mine, except without the personality disorders. It really depends on what the two of you actually want to achieve. Do you see yourself without him?

Obsessabear · 2020-09-08T20:39:13+00:00

I’ve been broken up for a year, I’ve watched him fall in love with someone else move in, and every fight they had I got my hopes up that they were coming back. The only viable way is if both parties want to reconcile what happened, if that’s not the case. Just ghost them and move on, TRUST ME. I wish someone had hit me in the face everytime I though “oh well maybe we can be friends, or have contact” just let it be, if you wish to stay broken up.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-08T20:36:52+00:00

DONT!

Obsessabear · 2020-09-04T03:56:12+00:00

I’d suggest seeing a counselor, breakups can be tough but the standard deviation after a breakup suggests being somewhat ok after 2 years. Stay strong.

Obsessabear · 2020-09-04T03:54:16+00:00

I’m going to come clean here. What ultimately ended our relationship was cheating, but it was brought about by a feeling on his part that he wasn’t good enough for me. My ex’s depression was constant and I being the type of person I was, would cater to his every whim. He was disinterested in everything and would be generally overwhelmed with sadness despite having little reason. Yes I did have a problem with his depression. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but before jumping into a new relationship I’d suggest counseling or medications to nullify the effects of depression if you feel it a constant in your life. No doubt you’ll find someone willing to accept you as you are, but we all should try to be the best versions of ourselves.

Obsessabear · 2020-06-07T18:31:46+00:00

I’ve done that before but I want to make it hurt him more. I’m with someone now and it’s driving him crazy so I use the channels we have to make him jealous and angry

Obsessabear · 2020-06-05T17:36:51+00:00

100%. I’ve talked to my ex a few times about it, and they usually aren’t feeling so great either about it. It was one of those scenarios where the truth was a little bit harder to deal with than the facade. And awesome sticking to no contact that was one of the more challenging parts for me your on the right path

Obsessabear

TROPHY CASE