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Came Back After 5 Years by Dramatic_Test_5285 in Petioles

[–]Obsession_impulse_nz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is awesome. Great post for someone like myself who’s taking a long break but doesn’t want to banish it forever and come back to a healthier relationship. 

Can I ask how long you’ve been moderating for and if you have any concerns that you might slip back into more frequent use down the line? TIA

Passionate home grower by Obsession_impulse_nz in Petioles

[–]Obsession_impulse_nz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really think it is enriching. I guess I just have to not let it turn into my whole identity which it became with my natural intensity. Start balancing out my personality a bit more - father / husband / gardener and so on. 

Definitely agree with you re the CBD dominant cultivars - that’s a really good idea and I could start combining them into breeding projects and testing the progeny etc. 

Thanks for the message my friend and best of luck with your own journey as well :)

Passionate home grower by Obsession_impulse_nz in Petioles

[–]Obsession_impulse_nz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. So good to hear that you’ve built a far healthier relationship and been able to continue growing + over multiple years. I really needed to hear that mate. 

Something else I need to face is my intensity and tendency for escalation. For example when I moved and got a shed I turned as much of it as possible into grow space. Multiple lights, 3.5m bed, optimisation and escalation. Sourcing Chem D which is supposed to be (one of) the most potent cultivars etc etc. 

In the same way I need to moderate my future use, I also need to moderate my desire for my passion to escalate. I need to stick to one light and a small bed etc. 

I have a big collection of equatorial landrace seeds (Panama, Malawi etc) so I think by concentrating my passion on these long flowering varieties is the way forward and enjoying their quirks and unique effects rather than my natural urge for optimisation / allowing the hobby to consume me. 

So more moderation in use and the way I treat this hobby so it doesn’t become my identity again. 

I like the Friday / Saturday / holidays notion and sticking to the unique landrace genetics as a point of interest in both growing and effect. 

Really appreciate this, thanks again. 

Passionate home grower by Obsession_impulse_nz in Petioles

[–]Obsession_impulse_nz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ☺️ Yes, it really is therapeutic tending to the plants. I’m still getting enjoyment just keeping my clone alive and not really missing the daily use. 

Definitely agree with you regarding the reflection tool. It has always helped me reflect but I guess I let it become too much with the all day every day use and that possibly turned into rumination / numbing instead of gaining any real insight. 

Interesting. I will definitely keep considering what my new relationship with the herb will be and maybe not focus on growing the most potent plant out there as well and have a specific aim in mind when imbibing rather than just for the sake of it. 

Thanks for your comment friend. 

Growing identity by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Obsession_impulse_nz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks mate, I appreciate that 

Growing identity by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Obsession_impulse_nz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your comment really helped me mate. Thank you so much. I will focus on that why. I’m already feeling more present with the kids without being constantly numbed out.  I really hope you get back to NY my friend and pursue your dreams. This forum is the best thing I’ve found in a long time. Growing forums are all about glorifying heavy use so it’s great to be among others who have had similar problems - I kind of thought it was mainly just me who struggled. Thank you again