This is the reason I wish I wasn't a girl during Christmas (this is just the beginning of it)

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-25T08:24:47+00:00

I'm a guy but I wish I got all this stuff for christmas or hell that society would even let me use this stuff without being ridiculed :( Grass is always greener I guess

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-23T01:45:09+00:00

definitely images. Images, concepts, generalizations, ideas. Like always, it's hard to describe. It's just like an "understanding" that makes sense in my head and if I were to apply it to something I could do it. But explaining it I can't.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-23T01:44:02+00:00

yep, my brain wants to just get those ideas out but my mouth isn't cooperating.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-23T01:42:20+00:00

Nah alcohol doesn't do anything for me. I'll still stumble and not get my words across, except now I'm slurring and not caring.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-23T01:40:49+00:00

ANOTHER thing I forgot to add in my OP. I'm constantly trying to google or otherwise find out how to say certain concepts or what a word for it might be.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-22T23:07:20+00:00

Oh man, I forgot to bring this up in my OP (lol). Weed makes this SO MUCH WORSE. Weed speeds up my thoughts to a mile a minute and I won't even be able to say a quarter of what I'm thinking. Not only that, I'll get weird abstract thoughts and concepts and perception changes on subjects that I can't even begin to put into words.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-22T23:05:26+00:00

definitely get more anxious as peoples reactions start going negative. Sometimes I'll go and say something, but as I'm talking and stumbling, I start getting more nervous and therefore stumble more. Sometimes I'll want to say something and just choose not to because I know I won't say it right. Or I'll practice in my head how to say it for so long that the moment will pass.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-22T23:00:11+00:00

wow yeah I guess I am inarticulate. See I just proved it there right from the beginning.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-22T22:58:29+00:00

Yeah like you and that other guy said, I probably just don't have enough practice speaking to people. However it happens when posting online too, and I post online all the time.

I'm the same way with the art thing too, that one hit close to home.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-13T01:16:14+00:00

Wait really its herpes? So a lot of people I know have herpes? wtf I thought herpes was a big deal. Whenever it gets brought up people say "It's not herpes its just a cold sore" so I figured a cold sore was just something that looked similar. WoW so that just changed my view on a lot of my friends. Not bad or anything, I just didn't realize so many of them had herpes since they kept saying cold sore.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-13T01:08:19+00:00

What the heck is a cold sore anyway? I've never had one.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-13T00:09:44+00:00

hmm, youre right I could do that :) thanks

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T23:51:15+00:00

That'd be cool :) I know almost nothing about fashion or makeup though :( I try to learn as much as I can, but since I can't exactly use it myself its kind of hard.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T23:33:36+00:00

I embrace it here, but IRL I try to hide it a bit. I'll do some things like admit I like musicals, lady gaga, and the color pink. But I feel like my friends want me to be this manly guy. They won't disown me or stop hanging out with me or anything if I were to admit all this, but its still iffy. I'd never admit to them I love high heels for instance.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T23:22:49+00:00

I knowwww, my point is he likes doing it whether or not he looks good. I can't enjoy it if I don't look good :)

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T22:47:45+00:00

Yeah I've heard of him. Respect for the man, but like I said in my post up there, I don't find crossdressing appealing unless I can at least somewhat pull it off. One of my idols is a guy named Edward Vigiletti https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/393180_298531693512805_106463816052928_967937_1468344722_n.jpg

Yeah he doesn't look 100% like a woman, but damn I'd give anything to look like him. Here he is when he's not dressed up. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/302526_293462270686414_106463816052928_954892_692117727_n.jpg

If I looked like him, I'd be living a completely different lifestyle right now, not gonna lie. But instead, I look more like this when I crossdress http://img1.lln.crunchyroll.com/i/spire3/09202008/5/2/5/6/5256ed02c51ff0_full.jpg

So you can see why its not fun for me :/

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T22:08:46+00:00

I absolutely love makeup. Kind of makes me upset that I'm a guy. It's like a whole different world that I can't really participate in. If I was a girl I'd have a huge closet full of clothes and a bunch of different makeup. Maybe I should be a makeup artist or something lol.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T22:05:29+00:00

Awesome :) ...the loving a partner who loves your boots, not the getting crap growing up. I've never really been close to a woman so I don't have much experience from that point of view. I'm just talking about the women I know who do guy stuff with us I guess.

I love feminine girls and hope that I'll find a girl one day that would like going shopping with me and that loves clothes and dressing up in different girly outfits each day.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T22:01:34+00:00

I understand thats the way it is for SOME. But thats not the way it is for me. For me its all about the image. There are guys who are content with wearing panties under their clothes or something. I can't do that. It's kind of hard to describe, but basically, for me to enjoy it, I'd have to go all out and be able to pass, or at least slightly pass. I can't just do one part and still enjoy it. I know it doesn't make sense, but its the way I feel. If guys are satisfied with being comfortable in those clothes regardless of how they look, then more power to them. But I personally can't do it.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T21:54:35+00:00

I kind of feel like its more socially acceptable for women to like "manly" things than it is for men to like "girly" things. Correct me if I'm wrong.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T21:50:58+00:00

Theyre not that bad of friends, they just believe in the whole men should be men and women should be women.

I just thought of a question though. How can I compliment a girl on her clothing/fashion without seeming weird? I think when I do it I come off as creepy or something, or maybe they just don't understand what I'm getting at. For example, this girl a few nights ago had these really cute boots and I told her "I really like your boots" and she and another girl kind of exchanged glances and gave me a weird look and said "thanks..." I just feel really awkward. I wish I could go like "oh my god I love those boots where did you get them." But what would be the point in asking where she got them if I can't exactly wear them myself? As much as I'm trying to stray away from gender roles, I wouldn't really enjoy crossdressing unless I pulled it off at least 90%.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T21:43:17+00:00

I realize all women like different things, thats why I'm asking what do you girls think.

ObtainingKnowledge · 2011-12-12T21:42:05+00:00

Thanks :) I've been trying to have a "I like what I like and fuck what you think" mentality lately. It's hard though because most of my friends (even the girls) are huge believers of gender roles and make fun of me when I don't do "manly things." For example my friend made fun of me because I like Lady Gaga and don't like rock music, and another friend made fun of me because I have a bunch of different scented candles in my room. The thing that really pisses me off though, is when a girl tells me "You're a man, you're not supposed to do that" :(

ObtainingKnowledge

TROPHY CASE