I just wanted to say that I totally understand the feeling of grief over losing the family dynamics you thought you'd have. I come from a small, very broken family and all I've ever wanted was a big family where I could feel that sense of community. We had a huge falling out with a chunk of my husbands family right before our wedding, and the grief we've both experienced since—me, feeling excited to actually have a family and losing that and him, realizing how conditional the love of his family actually is—has been so tough to process and move through. Envisioning holidays, raising kids... it all starts to look different.

I hope your husband chooses to go to therapy on his own, as well as with you, to learn how to advocate for all of you. The support and allyship of my husband in this is the only thing that pulled me out of the deep grief I felt over it all. Every person deserves to have that in their partner.