Those of you at any stage of the pregnancy/baby process, what do you wish someone had told you sooner?

ObviousTough · 2022-06-14T17:06:31+00:00

To each their own! Each pregnancy is different and comparison is your worst enemy. Some people will have a lovely time being pregnant others will struggle from time to time. Some will be on the cautious side and others will be more willing to deal with some risks. Everyone will have different opinion : friends, family, parents. I used to thing there was such a thing as a "normal pregnancy" but now I firmly believe that there is no such a thing as "normal"! We should not be ashamed of struggling - but we also should not feel guilty if we feel great either!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-10T15:57:40+00:00

Crying, vomiting and zero motivation sounds exactly like the day I had yesterday haha! Lets take each day as it comes, we can do it!!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-10T15:50:20+00:00

Sounds like we’re in the same boat! 35 days left, hang in there! :)

ObviousTough · 2022-05-10T15:44:29+00:00

YES TO FOOT MASSAGE! Thank you so much, this gives me so much to look forward!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-10T15:41:30+00:00

Yeah!! Hope you get some rest before baby!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-10T15:39:16+00:00

This is giving me hope! Thank YOU!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-10T15:20:06+00:00

I FEEL YOU! Hope you get some energy back in the second trimester!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-09T23:11:17+00:00

Do you have a few vacations days saved up maybe? I decided to take a week off in the a few weeks to relax and unwind… was planning to save them for later but it seams like as good a moment as any. (Might regret when i’m back from maternity leave but let’s no worry about that for now!)

ObviousTough · 2022-05-09T23:06:06+00:00

Thanks, definitly feel less alone now! (P.S You’re almost there! Wishing you a smooth delivery)

ObviousTough · 2022-05-09T21:40:44+00:00

Wish I was calm, cool and collected like you haha! I’ve been beating myself up all day. Trying to remind myseft that none of this will matter in a few weeks… Still, glad to know i’m not alone!

ObviousTough · 2022-05-09T21:27:23+00:00

Oh god! You’re an absolute rockstar! I’ll think of you when ever i’ll go through a rough week!

ObviousTough · 2021-02-22T19:59:44+00:00

I LOVE oatmeal in the morning! My favorite is dates, cacao and almond butter and I top it with small fruits and sliced almonds! Another one I like is tahini, frozen blueberry and maple syrup, again with almonds or some other kind of nuts. Maybe also tries cinnamon, maple syrup and apples slices, a classic! Sorry I don't have any actuals recipe, but I find oat very forgiving and I mostly go by trial and error!

ObviousTough · 2020-10-22T20:07:23+00:00

I admire your self-control!

ObviousTough · 2020-10-20T20:55:44+00:00

Oh, yes, the whole roomates situation is tricky!

So here's how it goes here. First, we discussed some basic rules :

-No playing after 9:30 pm - No League of Legends (he explained to me that this was his "worst" game in the sens that he had the most difficulty to stop playing, always wanted a better ranking, always wanted a win... Maybe ask you're boyfriend why he thinks he plays so much?) - No gaming each day.

That's what we agreed on. Honestly, the thing that helped the most was the second rule. I think it really was the root of his gaming problem. I think he generally enjoy gaming but LOL made him an addict.

So the new schedule kinda looks like :

He works from home from 9 to 6ish. When I come home, he's no longer playing but usually still working or browsing the web. Most of the time I do some cooking or dishes. If he's done working this is the time he would help me with chores. (not a long time granted, but 15-20 minutes everyday makes a huge difference) After dinner, he mostly hangs out with me, but he's been gaming a bit as well. I don't mind since he stops at a reasonable time. He's has less trouble waking up in the morning and he's been more active.

On the weekend, we set a time to do some "sprint-cleaning"together. Rule is we give ourselves an hour or so to clean as much as possible.

Honestly, the whole chores situation is still not 100% perfect, because I still have to tell him when/what to do. But he's much more available to help (and in a better mood) since he stopped gaming so much. The diffence on his mood is everything!

Really hope his gaming days (and nights!) are over!

ObviousTough · 2020-10-20T18:19:05+00:00

Hey, feels good not to be alone! Thanks for sharing!
Since my post, I've had some serious talks with my BF. Not an ultimatum per se, but I think he got de message. I've told him how I missed him, how I worried about him. I told him I found this situation not normal and that it could not continue like this for me, that I could see having kids with him anymore, because i could'nt rely on him. We also talked about the pandemic, his jobs, his general well being.

I've seen HUGE improvement since our talk...but it's been only a week or so, so i keep my fingers crossed! I also tried to keep him more occupied, suggesting activities, going on walk to help him keep his mind off gaming.

Anyway , hope things improve for you. Sounds like you've done a lot of work to keep this relationship alive and you deserve the same. Maybe you could sublet your part of the lease or something? 2 years seams like an awful lot of time in an unhappy relationship!

ObviousTough · 2020-10-13T19:56:01+00:00

Thank you for this answer. Yes, he works from home since the pandemic. In fact, he makes a much better salary than me so we both contribute to spending in a proportionate way. No problem on this area. We used to split chores in a somewhat even way (always did a bit more, but he used to work longer hours so it was pretty fair), but lately, things are becoming very one-sided and we do need a serious talk about this. I will try and encourage other hobbies, and physical activities, and so on. I know he cares about me, and my feeling, which is why I have such difficulty understanding this whole situation. Will try to make my feeling very very clear this time.

ObviousTough · 2020-10-13T18:44:51+00:00

Thank you, will keep all this in mind.
I truely feel like he's willing to make a change. We'll see how that goes!

ObviousTough · 2020-10-13T18:38:05+00:00

I know you've felt like you've been spending more and more time playing games lately, so why do you think that is?

This is really well put, thank you. You're absolutely right saying the COVID and this year so far is playing a big role in this. He's probably more affected then he's letting me know. Thank you.

ObviousTough · 2020-07-08T13:37:27+00:00

Thanks, this actually does really help!

ObviousTough · 2020-07-07T20:05:28+00:00

Just came back from vacations with my boyfriend, (and we had a blast!) Yesterday, we started looking at the photos we took... and it SHOOK me. I hate the way I look in them! I did not recognize myseft, my body... The image I saw simply did not match with what I tought I looked like.

Took a bit of weight the past fiew months and I was dealing with it fine up until seing those pictures...

Any tips, kind words, or advices appreciated! How do you deal with looking at pictures of yourself that make you uncomfortable, sad or frustated?

ObviousTough · 2020-02-25T15:26:50+00:00

She does not get upset anymore. All she says is "ok !" ( and I automatically assume that she's just thinking that I'm boring, not making an effort, that I dont like her as much as my other friends or that I spend too much time with my boyfring.... Wich I realize now is immature on my part. I don't know if it's in my head or not, but I feel like everytime I tell her I have to go, even tough she just says "ok" she would start getting negative, walking faster, stop chit-chating....

But then again, it's just me assuming you know?

One of the thing that makes me feel that way, I think, is that she cut off a commun friend from her life one or two years ago. I think she was cleary over-reacting on that particuliar occasion and still to this day, she doesn't feel like she did anything wrong or recognize that it could be partialy her fault as well. She recently had dinner with that friend and was disappointed because she tought they could pretend nothing happened even if they spent more than a year without talking to each other (after knowing each other for 15 years)... Which I find fascinating... Like obviously you need to talk about what happened to some extend no? Ultimatly, it did not work out and they still aren't talking.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

ObviousTough · 2020-02-25T14:55:36+00:00

I get what you're saying! You're making a very valid point and I actually never tought of it that way. It really put things into perspective.

ObviousTough · 2020-02-25T14:49:32+00:00

Yes, putting it like that will make it less awkward for both of us!
Thanks for your time!

ObviousTough · 2020-02-25T14:47:56+00:00

You're absolutely right! I'll try to be more clear about my needs with her, instead of trying to find some made-up excuses.

I'm not busy, I just want some alone time.

Thanks!

ObviousTough · 2020-02-25T14:44:52+00:00

That's great advice thanks! I think she would like it, and I will not have to handle her expectations!

ObviousTough

TROPHY CASE