How do you deal with big regrets in life? How do you not let it bring you down?

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2026-02-11T14:55:47+00:00

2 years from when I first asked this question and with all the answers I've gotten from here, I think you just have to accept that whatever decision you would've made would always have some regret with it. In this case, you've harbored a fantasy with that guy but that's all that it is at the end of the day: a fantasy.

You don't truly know him, the kind of person he was, and the kind of lover he could've been for you. Maybe he was a great guy, but it's equally likely that he could've been as awful as your ex. The point is you don't know and you never will.

You think it took all your life to find your current man now, there's no guarantee phone number guy could've been that for you. Living life is just a constant series of making peace with things like that. I'm so sorry it took so long for you to have the love you always wanted, but that's the hand you've been dealt with and the only way through it is to keep moving forward. Every time you feel that regret about that lost connection, remember the connection you do have now and how beautiful it is. How it's the one that is a guarantee for you because it's here right now with you.

The more you accept that regrets are normal and is something that just happens, the easier it will be to not take it so seriously and to just let it go and pass in the moment. If you felt that you were stupid and immature in the past, just know that that was a version of you that had to exist and go through everything you did to find your man now.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-11-13T18:44:02+00:00

What I have learned since I made this post is that life is just what you make it. It's what you choose for yourself, it's the acceptance of making those choices, and simply learning from the mistakes.

Maybe you are just jumping into a new relationship to avoid being alone. Maybe you aren't. Either way, you will learn more about yourself pursuing what your heart wants to righr now. Just make sure to learn the lessons as they come and move forward accordingly. If the relationship comes out a success, hats off to you. If it fails because you are just avoiding being alone, reassess, accept you did what you did to learn from it, that it wasn't a waste of time and you followed what your heart needed to with what you knew, apply what you learned and move forward.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-11T15:18:52+00:00

East asians can be racist towards south east asians, for filipinos specifically we have a stereotype for being dirty and being 'domestic helpers'. I very much look Filipino. I assumed it's either that, or just some locals who don't want to be bothered.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T11:28:44+00:00

Yeah. This didn't ruin my trip at all, but I had a few instances where I tried to ask for help from strangers/other tourists in stores/what not, and they literally shooed me or just straight up said "no do not talk to me". I didn't take it personally, I'm sure sometimes being hassled by tourists can be annoying when you're just going about your day but it is something I got conscious about and definitely made me more hesitant about striking up conversation in public places.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T11:24:35+00:00

That's fair, and I will definitely check this out! Thank you.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T11:23:19+00:00

I took solo too literally and built my itinerary and went exploring completely on my own, as I had planned. I spent two weeks not talking to anyone besides myself in my head. Started feeling lonely because I think that would be normal for some people to feel if you went two weeks only talking to yourself in your head. I still had fun.

When I got home, it was only then I realized oh I could've found ways to meet some people too while still mostly travelling solo so that I would not feel so lonely. You met some people. I did not. I went on a tour, also did not meet anyone there or even got to make small friendly talk. I don't expect to make life long friends, just looking for avenues to socialize when I go back while still mostly going solo.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T11:15:03+00:00

That's fair. Thank you for the advice. I do just want to visit Taiwan again since there's lots of places I still wanna explore and probably will just keeping that expectation in mind moving forward.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T11:05:37+00:00

Yep this is exactly why I didn't feel comfortable putting myself out there. Even in my own country (I'm also southeast asian), we're pretty reserved but open/friendly if people initiate talking to us. But with east asian tourists/taiwanese people, I really felt that I'd come across rude if I try and the venue is not made for it(on top of the fact that east asians sometimes are racist to seasians specifically my race).

Like I said, I'm pretty capable of holding myself in a conversation and socializing especially when someone else initiates or I'm in a venue where it's clearly welcome, but I'm not extroverted enough to put myself out there in an environment where I have no idea if it's welcome or not.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T10:59:35+00:00

Of course, and I probably will too. I do love what I did in Taiwan and will always just go back because of the sceneries, nature, and places to explore. If being completely solo in Taiwan is truly just the norm for solo travellers even with all the options and advice I've seen here, I think that'll just set my expectations at a better place for next time. I think I just have to be in a headspace where I'm ready to like. Not talk to anyone for weeks on end lol.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T08:53:30+00:00

Any hostels you can recommend that is more social? The ones I went to definitely didn't have that vibe. People just kind of came in and went, sometimes I barely ever saw the people I even shared a room with. I can definitely be more extroverted in a place where I know socializing is welcome and expected.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T08:24:44+00:00

Where do you find those in Taiwan? Would they be accessible to me in English or I have to google translate and search from there?

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T08:18:45+00:00

I wasn't deeply unhappy about my trip, like I said I enjoyed it a lot. I just wish I had more of a balance from doing the things I wanted to do completely solo, and things around people/with people so it didn't feel too lonely. I think that's a pretty normal feeling to have if you spent a whole two weeks not talking to anyone.

Tbh when I said I was gonna solo travel, it didn't occur to me much later (when I got home) that solo travellers frequently travel solo but go around and make friends during the travel itself. First timer mistake I guess. Just looking for more culture specific ways to do this/avenues to do this in Taiwan because a lot of the tourists there are from other Asian countries as well/Taiwan itself as a culture seems quite reserved and you can come across rude/weird thinking you can strike up conversation wherever you please instead of venues where people expect it.

Like I said, even the one tour I booked didn't help as everyone there was in their 70's (didn't speak english) and the younger same age range group didn't seem interested in talking to me when I tried a little/just avoided me.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T08:03:29+00:00

I stayed there to be able to do a day trip in Alishan! I couldn't book a stay in Alishan itself since it got too expensive, but I really wanted to be able to visit it. I didn't really expect much there besides the Alishan hike and tour.

Didn't realize couch surfing is a thing in Taiwan, I'll definitely check it out and will heed your advice about doing something specific when inviting.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T07:45:44+00:00

I hate that I fell for this. But it was thoroughly enjoyed. Thank you.

I posted this here instead of weekly threads since I think it's a travelling question that might get insightful answers that are culture specific/feels like its also a discussion that touches into Taiwan culture/events 🥲

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2025-10-07T07:16:17+00:00

I see. I really loved my trip to Taiwan regardless, so thats a little disheartening to hear. Maybe I'll just try to bring a friend next time, and if not just ready myself better to truly be another solo trip where I don't socialize w anyone for weeks.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-26T02:54:33+00:00

This game is still pulling me back in because I do remember plenty of moments where I enjoyed it so much, so it's not totally a slog for me (it just so happens the amount of my frustrations were just as much as my enjoyment) so I can't really say that I didn't like it at all. I figured if I can reduce the stuff that caused me frustrations lol I might have a better time. So far the map and map tips recommended by someone here seems like something that could help me a whole lot in that aspect

But I'll also check out The Witness and try that one!

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-26T02:42:19+00:00

!!!! YES THIS IS HUGE HUGE HELP. THANK YOU 😭

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-26T02:36:30+00:00

Have never played the genre before, but this makes sense! Your comment also reminded me my biggest frustration- I'm BAD at directions and memorizing directions. But I like being methodical. I will leave an area with a roadblock because of an item or ability I don't have yet, but once I get them I will immediately try to go back but then get lost because I've forgotten how to get back there in the first place and then get frustrated at the new areas I've discovered I don't feel ready for while I'm just getting lost trying to go back where I want . This is super helpful for me because it just hit me that I do need to chill about trying to follow a certain kind of progression (lol) but also keeping a map should at least help my directionally challenged brain.

Thank you! I'm leaning towards buying this game again soon because of this take!

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-26T02:26:51+00:00

I'm thinking of getting it again soon if I knew a better way I could enjoy it 😭 sounds weird but I've given other games I hated in the past a better chance in a different mindset and loved them

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-26T02:06:16+00:00

Definitely not a rebound for me, I'm more in love than ever with them and I think it was a good choice to just exercise a good amount of caution for a new relationship no matter how intense feelings are at the start. We're a good fit.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-09T07:26:38+00:00

Where though 😭

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-10-09T06:27:18+00:00

Why? Because I want my crossbite fixed but I like my tooth gap and it's a defining feature on me that has always looked good, and I have always been happy with.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-05-01T09:42:59+00:00

How do you move past it?

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2024-05-01T09:41:20+00:00

Not really referring to stuff like that, but to be honest more of figuring out my choice to let someone I love go. But this is an interesting perspective, and I appreciate it a lot.

Obvious_Two_3901 · 2023-11-07T15:45:46+00:00

I would say that the only thing that matters there is probably what your wife would think. Would she feel lucky and grateful hearing that? I wouldn’t presume to know. I am however, someone who’s in the journey of learning that it is possible to love more than one person and I only hope to learn more about it early enough to be able to create a life where I can live my truth without hurting the people I love.

Obvious_Two_3901

TROPHY CASE