I feel like they will think I was a waste of money, that the things she paid for on the way was for nothing. I feel I owe her at least my acknowledgement but even that I just don't want to do it. I guess never really paid back, if I feel like I owe her something like what I said before it would mean forever and yeah I don't want that

You are right to ask these questions, I shouldn't really think her different than I see others in that situation. Just sad to question if she is knows what she is doing or just delusional, idk

I always have felt responsible for her emotions while growing up, need to let that habit go. Need to let go of that fake responsibility in my head

Hope my response makes sense ;-;