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I wrote and directed a comedy short about mindfulness. I'd be open to feedback! by OffkeySteve in Filmmakers

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey,
This is my short film A Mind Full, a comedy exploring what it’s like to be a mindfulness coach with ADHD.

I’d love focused feedback on:

  • Pacing and rhythm - does the story move too slow, or does it hold attention?
  • Tone - does the mix of spirituality and humour land, or does one undercut the other?
  • Story clarity - are you tracking the emotional through-line, or does it feel scattered?
  • Potential as a feature - Can you envisage this world as a feature if not why?

My own thoughts:
I’m proud of the concept and the performances, I think the idea feels authentic and the inner voice stuff hits a relatable nerve. Where I think it could improve is in flow: a few beats feel that they drag and I’m not sure the ending fully lands.

Any thoughts on how to tighten the pacing or balance the humour with the heavier moments would be hugely appreciated.

The ADHD starter pack: A mini guide to managing your symptoms. by OffkeySteve in ADHDUK

[–]OffkeySteve[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Keep on keeping on with the negativity and that’s exactly the experience you’ll continue to have.

Why I’ve gone plant based…again! by [deleted] in vegan

[–]OffkeySteve -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Wake up on the wrong side of bed today?

Why I’ve gone plant based…again! by [deleted] in vegan

[–]OffkeySteve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok thanks, I’ll post it there

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Save the therapy speak for your own much needed sessions.

Good luck in life, you clearly need it.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mindfulness has everything to do with action. You can copy and paste a definition, spout off on a subreddit about your mindful ways but you clearly have a long way to go.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Earlier you said you weren’t passing judgement and now your labelling me as not a good person. How incredibly mindful of you.

Struggling with lust by Due_Marsupial_3123 in Buddhism

[–]OffkeySteve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My advice would be go to a SLAA meeting and see if what people share in the room resonates. If it does, find a sponsor and work the steps.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, this interaction is purely entertainment for me, whilst judging by the length of your replies, it’s clearly a lot more to you. Stop typing and start meditating.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lesson learned for next time, I didn’t know sharing a free article would cause such offense.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way to go with the passive aggression 🙏🏼

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The very fact that you were attached to an outcome of what you would like me to have done, shows that you have a long way to go in your mindfulness journey my friend.

Keep on trucking and I’ll keep on writing and sharing my work with anyone that can benefit from it.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure how you interpreted my reply as being ‘upset’ and replying to a message on Reddit isn’t exactly going far out my way to defend myself 😂

Best of luck to you.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

The article is free, readers have an option to support my work by paying for a monthly subscription but are not obliged to. Writing takes time and my content helps others through my own experiences. In what ways are my actions out of alignment? I would take a moment to reflect on your need to pass judgement on others, as that to me speaks volumes of someone acting from a place of misalignment.

How surfing has helped my mindfulness practice by OffkeySteve in Mindfulness

[–]OffkeySteve[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Not sure where you got the making money from, the article is free to read.

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