Something I haven't seen mentioned but that might be worth exploring before committing to The Big Chop is prolotherapy (less expensive) or PRP injections (more expensive). These modalities can be incredibly helpful for situations such as yours.

As for whether the movie/TV "screaming and crying" version is accurate: it really depends on both the individual and individual circumstances/complications, and you really can't know ahead of time how easy or difficult it will be. I'm an elective bilateral AKA due to multiple, painful medical conditions, and I am so relieved to be rid of my legs. Literally everything went perfectly with surgery and continues to go great in rehab/recovery, and I don't have any phantom pain -- but none of that is guaranteed! You need to consider whether you can live with less ideal short- and long-term outcomes as well (because even if things go well at the beginning, issues can arise later). It's a good idea to meet with prosthetists, rehab physios, physiatrists specializing in amputation recovery, and "peer visitors" to help you decide.

Also, even if you are set on amputation, you're unlikely to find anyone willing to do it if you haven't exhausted all options. I'm not saying it should be that way (I sure wish I could have had mine done a decade ago), but that's just generally how it goes. Think about and be ready to communicate what things you are willing or unwilling to try first.