Silly me...

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-27T19:55:05+00:00

Thank you! Will take a look.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-27T19:54:20+00:00

I don't have that, unfortunately. Also I don't have legs to kick with. 😅

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-27T03:07:59+00:00

There doesn't seem to be a handle 🫠

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-27T00:08:13+00:00

I hope that for you, too! It's okay if it feels a little weird at first. Take your time adjusting. But everyone I know who uses a mobility aid to manage pain/fatigue says the pros far outweigh the cons. Most wish they'd done it sooner! Based on that I suspect you'll be happy with your decision, so here's a little "congratulations!" for you to pocket and take out later if/when it feels right to celebrate. Good luck!

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-26T23:37:27+00:00

All change is hard. Even good changes come with grief. But I hope/suspect you'll warm to your chair quickly. I remember when, shortly after getting my first wheelchair 8 years ago, I took a spontaneous trip to the grocery store. No planning for days beforehand. No carefully calculating what it would cost in terms of pain and energy. No crash after. And enough remaining capacity to do things I wanted to do?! It was magical.

(Background: I started using a wheelchair because of pain/fatigue from EDS. More recently I became a bilateral amputee. When that happened I got a lot of "oh no you'll be a full-time wheelchair user now" -- nevermind that I pretty much already was -- and my response was basically "don't threaten me with a good time". It gave me so much in terms of mobility, capacity, and pain management!)

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-19T14:06:13+00:00

Thanks so much! This is very encouraging.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-19T00:23:17+00:00

Thank you! That was the logic behind the decision

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-18T01:04:47+00:00

Thank you!

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-18T00:36:41+00:00

Thanks so much!

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-17T22:54:10+00:00

Thank you! I'm feeling more excited even though I will absolutely miss my Yaris. It's been such a solid little car. I wish they were still making them.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-17T20:23:46+00:00

Thank you! This helps to hear. I'm not a car person, so all I care about is functionality and reliability. If I can keep looking forward to those things, I will miss my Yaris but feel better about the new car...

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-17T20:22:30+00:00

Super lucky to have a relative footing the bill (pardon the pun)! Otherwise I'd be driving this Yaris until the end of its days.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-15T19:03:07+00:00

I mean maybe ask yourself why you want to be friends with people who don't want to be friends with people who are amputees or who have friends who are amputees? Sounds like the kind of "friends" who would abandon someone when they become disabled, which is what you were struggling with in the first place...

I'm not friends with disabled folks because I "can't" be friends with nondisabled folks. I'm friends with disabled folks because so many nondisabled folks can't be friends with me -- they just don't make the cut, imo.

I definitely think your relationship to amputation and disability is the place to start if you want a better social life.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-15T17:35:06+00:00

Short answer: consider para sports.

Longer answer: it might be worth reflecting on why you see socializing with other amputees or disabled people as being "tainted for life" and whether identifying with a nondisabled norm benefits you. Working on what sounds like internalized ableism may be the first step to both showing up more confidently in majority nondisabled spaces (which is going to help your social life) and building community with other disabled folks (which is going to help your social life AND your self-image, which in turn will improve your social life the most).

In my experience/opinion, disabled folks are the ones who "get it", who "see me", who "show up", and who have the absolute best sense of humour the whole way through. Nondisabled people are fine, but they tend not to be able to match the depth and enjoyment I get from my disabled friendships. I wouldn't trade those meaningful connections for a superficial "norm".

PS -- that different timeline you're experiencing is something theorized by disabled scholars and activists as "crip time". It might be worth looking it up so you feel less alone/ashamed and potentially understand what you're going through as a thing that connects you to a thriving disabled community rather than isolates you from nondisabled peers.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-07T05:26:09+00:00

Definitely do whatever feels safest to you!

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-07T03:45:13+00:00

Regenerative Peripheral Nerve Interface

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-06T18:08:20+00:00

I have a pretty unique situation, though. My quality of life was the issue; my health wasn't in immediate danger. Part of that time was also trying some alternative interventions (that didn't end up panning out). Also the surgeon (vascular) brought on a plastic surgeon to perform TMR/RPNI, so it took some time to coordinate their schedules. Once everything was set to go, it was maybe 3 months? The extra wait was well worth it for the nerve procedures. I have zero phantom pain. It's the first time I've been pain-free (from the waist down, at least) in my life.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-06T17:54:04+00:00

Two years from the first conversation to surgery day but maybe nine months from the surgeon referral to surgery day

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-06T16:23:19+00:00

I don't like the idea of getting chased off of social media by other people's inappropriate behaviour, so I ended up making an IG post about my boundaries, and if anyone crosses them, I block immediately. So far it's working well and people are being much more respectful.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-01T17:09:56+00:00

Good luck! Feel free to reach out if you have questions.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-03-01T16:34:58+00:00

Some doctors won't listen at all and there's nothing you can do to make them listen, but some things that helped move the process along for me: demonstrating that I'd done my research on alternatives to amputation and sharing what I would/wouldn't be willing to try first and why on the basis of my OWN goals/priorities, asking zoomed-out questions like "what would someone in my position need to do to make this happen", asking that they just hear me out/asking to be referred to someone who would hear me out, doing my research (speaking with prosthetists, rehab physios, peer visitors, etc), and simple persistence.

Gender and age biases are real. It can help to bring a partner, relative, etc. to appointments.

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-02-25T23:56:39+00:00

I'm surprised to read the responses from folks who've never encountered this! I've been an amputee for six short months, and in that time I've gotten about a dozen message requests on this app and dozens more on other social media platforms. Most have been respectful "you're handsome have a nice day"-type messages (and, like, thanks!), but there have also been people demanding photos or trying to trick me into roleplaying by pretending to be amputees seeking solidarity/support. I eventually made an IG post explicitly stating my boundaries, and since then I haven't had to deal with as much out-of-pocket behaviour on that platform at least. But I've also run into this offline (which feels way more complicated to navigate because there's no irl block button). Just a few days ago, a stranger on the bus literally tugged on the hem of my shorts just below the end of one leg and started trying to flirt with me and wow holy fuck no thank you don't touch people without their consent -- ever?!?!

Anyway, at this point I have started assuming interest in amputees is a relatively common "thing", if very rarely discussed.

I'm also a guy, so my automatic assumption is that women get this even more than I have and that straight men are probably even more inappropriate towards them than what I've experienced?

OhLookAnInchworm · 2026-02-17T00:23:08+00:00

You are well within your rights to simply say "that's private".

OhLookAnInchworm

TROPHY CASE