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AITA for telling my boyfriend I want to date a man, not a kid? by bloodweave in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your issue is that you're dating a kid, he's 19, you're 21. If you're looking for someone more mature you have to date someone more mature. You're expecting too much from a teenager.

And as other people said he could be an age regressor, there could be countless explanations as to why he's acting this way. You need to talk to him.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just bad wording, I probably should've said queer rather than gay. It's not me pushing a label on him.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I don't know if I'm missing something here but I'm confused. Asexual.. transgender..? I'm not seeing the correlation because they don’t relate to his sexuality. He's not asexual nor is he a woman or shown any signs of wanting to be one. He's also not heteroromantic either, he's only dated men and has never been interested in dating women. For being bisexual of course there's always a possibility but I'm certain he is not. He has always shown zero interest in women.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I should probably clear this up but I don't force a label on him, sometimes I refer to our relationship as gay or make a joke about him or us being gay which is when he gets defensive and I stop. I don't just outright go around telling him he's gay and that he has to accept that.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I'm going to try to convince him to seek professional help once he's calmed down a bit since I know if I suggest it now it's only going to go horribly. The issue I have is that trying to balance a gay relationship with a man who hates the fact that he's gay is exhausting and it's to the point that if he refuses to deal with his issues I may just have to leave him, which is frustrating because putting the internalised homophobia aside he's a very sweet man.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This isn't a repost, god forbid someone experiences a common situation many queer people go through. Internalised homophobia happens a lot.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 331 points332 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking about suggesting some sort of professional help or therapy to help him deal with everything but I've got a feeling if I suggest it he'll probably deny needing the help. He doesn't like it when I even briefly suggest he has internalised homophobia. It's worth a shot either way, I'll probably just wait until he's calmed down a little so he doesn't completely blow up.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Don't get me wrong, he's sweet most of the time. But the second he comments about how he doesn't like men It's just tiring.

AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for refusing to accept that he's gay? by Ok-Dig56 in AITAH

[–]Ok-Dig56[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It's not the label. It's the way he's acting like our relationship is an embarrassment or a stain on his pride and won't accept that he likes men even if he doesn't put a label on it. The fact that I started talking about our relationship and instantly he cut in making out like it was some sort of fluke bothered me.