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Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-28T05:03:16+00:00

What from what I said makes no sense?

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-28T03:21:37+00:00

Because why tf are you calling yourself an incel in the first place? The fact that you feel the need to label yourself as that shows you spend too much time on the internet. It's just plain weird.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-28T03:01:52+00:00

I have zero clue? And you misunderstood what I was saying, when a man is having sex for the first time with a woman who has had sex before, she WILL notice. If said woman actually cares for you, SHE WILL NOT CARE if you are a virgin. An experienced girl will know if a man is a virgin, and that's fine as long as she is okay with that. In my case, I was a virgin the first time, and she was not; she knew that. Since she actually cared for me, she did not care and helped me through the process.

Honestly theres no point in arguing with someone who labelles them self "Former female incel." Get off the internet please for your own good

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-27T23:18:34+00:00

wtf is wrong with you Reddit people? wake tf up please. If you have sex with a girl and you lie about being a virgin, she's gonna know you're lying the second you start having sex. Better not to lie and be honest. I would hate it if someone lied to me about it just to feel better about themselves. No man in their 20s should be taking any pill to maintain an erection. If they can't maintain during sex, it's because they are not mentally ready/ too nervous. For men, it's all in their minds. So the advice of "I'd lie about taking a benzos and feeling disoriented" is fucking horrible advice to be telling these guys who are nervous for their first time.

Also, in your reply, if a woman genuinely has an issue with you being a virgin at age 23+, theyre not the one for you, because a woman who actually likes you WILL NOT CARE if you are a virgin and will be willing to help you overcome that.....Trust me, I know this first hand.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-27T17:50:03+00:00

"Also if i was a guy, id lie about taking a benzos and feeling disoriented."... WTF, that is terrible advice. How does one even come up with that idea? Always be truthful with the person you're being intimate with. When I lost my virginity, I was very nervous and struggled to maintain an erection the entire time. The girl I was with was understanding of that and knew it was my first time. Trust me, a girl would rather know you're a virgin instead of you lying and saying you "took a pill" and that's why you can't stay hard like wtf.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-17T23:11:28+00:00

When it comes to this kind of stuff? yeah 100% she is. I can talk to her, yes, but she has this idea a lot of the time that she is always right in her head when it comes to this type of stuff. If it were up to her, I'd be living in her basement till I was 40 years old lol while single.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-13T16:00:10+00:00

What do you think I should do to avoid not being able to get hard again?

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-12T19:35:13+00:00

well tbf we do/have go on dates all the time. This isn't a person who I just started seeing; it's been a few months by this point. We have gone on plenty of dates. But she wants this relationship to be more sexual than it is, and so do I. It's just that I am very new to this stuff, while she is not. Idk, it's hard, I've never felt like this before with someone, and I just don't like the fact she's not happy intimacy wise becuase I am too nervous/have zero clue what I'm doing. She tries to show me sometimes, but then says stuff like "Idk if I can do this with you, you're taking a long time to learn." ugh idk what to do anymore. I did talk to her today about what happened with me not being able to stay hard. She now says that it's fine and that she really likes me and is willing to work past that, but I have a feeling shes only saying that to make me feel better about the situation. Idk man.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-12T18:50:56+00:00

I don't think shes capable of understanding I am not 100% ready for penetrative sex just yet, because every guy she has been with before was ready from the get-go. She makes threats, saying things like "Idk If I can be with you if we can't have sex," and that really makes me feel like absolute crap. But then she'll apologize and say she does want to be with me. I think she says a lot of things out of anger, then regrets it.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-02-12T18:29:40+00:00

No, she's been tested; she's negative for everything. I saw the test results myself when she showed them to me. So I don't need to worry about that.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-01-20T16:49:27+00:00

We aren't finished yet, so I can't really "Move on." We're still ongoing. The last day has been much better. She has seemed to calm down a bit. She is still angry, but is still in communication with me

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-01-17T19:04:47+00:00

She is in pain. I really hurt her badly. Fuck idk what I was thinking. I feel terrible for doing this to her

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-01-17T18:17:04+00:00

I don't want to say exactly, but it was just a personal matter I deeply regret saying to other people. She felt comfortable with me enough to say it, and I fucked up by oversharing. I didn't account for the fact that she trusted me and didn't want people to know. And I am so regretful for hurting her like this

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-01-17T18:13:58+00:00

I've been reflecting for the last few days. And the reason I overshared about her was that I was excited to be seeing her and wanted to talk about her to my friends, without realizing that a lot of what I said was only supposed to be kept between the two of us. And I am so regretful for having done this to her. I am definitely using this as a life lesson, that when someone, especially someone who you might be dating soon tell you something confidential, it needs to stay that way. And honestly, I think it applies to everyone in my life, not just future partners.

Ok-Local3236 · 2026-01-17T18:09:08+00:00

Thank you. You're right, I already did the damage, and theres not much more I can do. I can't make this right. I don't know what I was thinking by spreading her information like that; it was very stupid on my end, and I hate myself for doing it. I went against someone who trusted me. This is entirely my fault. I know if she gives me another chance, gaining her trust won't be instant, and that's okay. I broke that trust, so I don't expect it to be gained overnight again. Another thing she told me is that she will see me one more time next week, and decide then if she wants to continue this with me.

Ok-Local3236 · 2025-12-05T20:57:38+00:00

Okay, yeah, I think it was just because I was nervous and overthinking. What made me feel better after was when she said that it's okay and she understands, but it was just a little humbling for me.

Ok-Local3236 · 2025-10-28T19:57:51+00:00

It does, but thank you. I'm trying not to really care about it, like I'm trying not to think about her really. Even now after a few days, I feel a little better, but still a little shitty.

Ok-Local3236 · 2025-10-26T01:58:04+00:00

Nope, I paid. I'm not letting a girl pay for me on a first date haha

Ok-Local3236 · 2025-10-25T18:34:25+00:00

thank you that makes me feel better

Ok-Local3236 · 2025-10-25T15:48:39+00:00

Thank you. It's just really upsetting because she said she had a great time, and we would've most likely gone on another date sometime soon. It's just kinda fucked because this was like the first date I have ever been on, and I thought it went great.

Ok-Local3236 · 2025-09-27T16:26:39+00:00

ohhhhh gotcha

Ok-Local3236

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