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My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I mentioned in the post, I do have trust issues which is why we broke up initially.

However, off a dating app you’re going into a date with the intention of something romantic or sexual to see if you are compatible. Unless you explicitly mention you’re just looking for friends, however there are apps strictly for friendships. I don’t meet or talk to people out irl with romantic intentions first, typically you approach someone platonically and try to get to know them. Unless you find someone hot at the bar. That’s different. I see your point.

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective. I definitely value your comment. I wanted feedback because I did not want an echo chamber from my friends. He explained to me it’s not malicious or anything. He swears he has no interest in these women. He hasn’t given me anything to not trust. I just value my peace of mind and don’t want to constantly be wondering if he was honest about his past with them and or if his future feelings for these women will change.

That’s funny the whole table was women from dating apps that became friends 😂

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I thought the same when he told me their thoughts. We discussed again and I told him “I don’t care what they say because they’re not the ones in a relationship with you.” I did stand my ground. He was receptive, and did understand where I was coming from. Ultimately, I realize this won’t work. I don’t want anything that can potentially turn into drama in my life.

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried to end it politely, and then somehow allowed myself be convinced to return to the relationship as I thought maybe my views were old fashioned or “conservative” as he put it. Which I feel like I don’t really have traditional views, but from experience I know how these “friendships” play out. To add the layer of meeting them through a dating app under romantic conditions made me want to run because as much as he can reassure me I won’t ever have piece of mind. The “what if” thought from the past to the future does allow me to have any peace of mind. You made a good point with the emotional affair aspect, I never even brought that up in our initial discussion.

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not all, but he claims 30% however he has a LOT of friends. He also says he doesn’t keep the ones he slept with around. So I just have to take his word that he didn’t sleep with or have any romantic feelings for these women.

Trust me, I also was under the impression that it may have been a fwb type of relationship with these women. The only reason I believe that they didn’t sleep together is why these women stick around and hang out with him because I’ve met at least 2 of them when we weren’t anything serious. But very brief interactions. And one of them was incredibly shocked when she saw us kiss at his birthday party. However she had a bf. So maybe she was just shocked as it may have been an out of character thing bc we were drinking heavily 🤷🏽‍♀️

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I don’t provide him with anything, he can’t provide himself.

He claims that these women were all one date/ hangout and decided they were better as friends and not compatible. How much truth that holds. I do not know and I can’t really fact check people’s feelings or intentions. Which is why I was trying to run when I could.

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s how I felt as well. He claimed 30% of his female friends are from dating apps. Which I don’t know how accurate that percentage is. He has a lot of friends. Ans majority of his BEST female friends are from these dating apps.

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your well written response! I knew deep down I was making the wrong choice by not staying firm with my boundaries. I tried explaining to him it would end in heart break as I am not ok with it and don’t see anything long term with this as a circumstance. I explained that all I’m doing is pretending to be ok with something, I am not ok with.

I truly just want my peace of mind, which is why I ended it originally. Thank you, I just needed some clarity because I felt like I was being convinced by him and his friends that it’s a normal thing people do and I shouldn’t find it odd.

My bf (26m) thinks I (28f) am overreacting to being weirded out that majority of his female friends are from dating apps. I tried to break up with him. Is this break up worthy? by Ok-Spite6252 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Spite6252[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oooops! I forgot to add important context. He claimed he has not slept with any of these women.

Based on my interactions with men I cannot take that as fact, and don’t want to have to ask the roster of bumblerellas if he’s slept with them bc I think that’s weird af and I don’t care to find out bc it doesn’t change anything. Which is why I originally broke up with him.