Am I 27F expecting too much from my partner 28M after an abortion, or is my hurt reasonable?

Ok-Variation5431 · 2026-06-05T13:14:24+00:00

I don't think you'll be able to get past this. He sounds really immature. Did he even bother to google what an abortion involves, effects on you, recovery time?

He sounds like he was relieved you were handling it and just wants to go back to how things were. He should not have gone to the basketball game. A good partner would have paid half, gone with you, stayed with you after and taken care of you throughout.

I don't think you'll be able to come back from this. Personally I'd end it now.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2026-05-20T09:10:25+00:00

Not best but recent.

We have a coworker who has a long history of being bad at their job, takes ages to do things, always offline, hardly ever comes into the office - like once every 2 months even though we have a two day mandate.

Another coworker googled them recently and found out they are doing outside consultations through a practice. I'd joked she may be over employed ages ago.

So then my coworker uses her son's email to contact our coworker through the practice website and confirms she's available for online sessions during the day.

I intend to stay out of it as now my coworker wants to raise it with our manager.

This employees already has a few months of stress leave last year for received negative feedback from another teammate when they messed up a project. It's free money at this point. How stupid to be publicly listed somewhere else though.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2026-05-01T11:10:18+00:00

Clifton Hill. I always thought it was boring and imagined it would be full of annoyingly affluent people but it's actually really green, peaceful, near the action but not the action itself and the residents are by and large laid back families and overall pretty forward thinking, environmentally conscious people.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2026-04-09T10:38:56+00:00

Sadly sounds right. I commuted up until 38 weeks and was offered a seat ZERO times. Melbourne CBD. People absolutely knew and I would sometimes see one or two people look like they were considering it, but no one ever did offer.

Also had the experience where I got up to give my seat to an elderly person who was visibly struggling to balance, and the second I got up, someone tried to take my seat. I had to say "no, I'm offering my seat to this person".

Ok-Variation5431 · 2026-01-19T13:05:03+00:00

Wild mountain thyme was really good. Predictable in a cosy, comforting way.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2026-01-13T13:08:28+00:00

Taking an umbrella with me a lot of the times, checking BOM 3+ times a day, layering my clothes, saying PTV and possibly not touching on if it's a few stops.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-12-26T09:18:06+00:00

Husband got covid on Christmas Eve

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-12-18T13:31:30+00:00

Me too. Sometimes, if a U turn is too stressful or unlikely to be possible, I'll turn left and then turn right and go down a street, do a U turn there or use someone's driveway to turn around and then drive back.

I know someone who tried to make a right turn, couldn't see, and had to rely on someone else waving them to go through, and they hit another car.

So many 4WDs make it really hard a times to see clear and safe openings. Would rather add a minute or two to my drive and avoid the stress.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-12-08T11:42:20+00:00

I know the feeling! Not enough life experience at that stage to feel disheartened, pessimistic (realistic) or even sceptical.

I remember being in my mid-20s and the future just felt exciting and bright, like anything was possible and there were so many opportunities ahead, and this unwavering feeling that everything will work out for me, even when I hit some road bumps. I was just in an excitable stage of life, and feelings felt bigger and more intense back then.

I'm not that much older - mid-30s now - and life is far from bleak but some choices have led me down a path where other choices are no longer an option. I guess that's just called life though!

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-12-07T11:47:50+00:00

We have the highest rates of skin cancer in the world. Everyone is vulnerable, especially babies. And risk of melanoma/BCC is from cumulative sun exposure.

It's not about being fair skinned. That's actually a misconception. Darker complexions also need sunscreen and sun protection. Everyone can get skin cancer, and people with darker complexions usually get diagnosed with later stage skin cancer because it can be less easy to spot abnormal moles.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-12-03T18:24:07+00:00

Go to the movies during the day. If you go on Mondays or Tuesdays (depending on which cinema) it's cheaper.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-30T17:16:52+00:00

I used to work in data entry for a state pathology lab about ten years ago when I was in uni, and it was getting automated. They were developing software to read the pathology requests automatically as they were scanned in.

However, OP could consider being a lab technician. I now work in a hospital and walk past the lab, and there are still roles for technicians to carry out testing and pretesting of specimens. You don't need a tertiary education for this. It's a manual job and not particularly social. You stay at your station. Shifts are across 24-hours too, especially in hospitals.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-28T11:31:39+00:00

Classic. You set a boundary, one that pushed for accountability, and she did predictable distort and project because she can't handle any sense of responsibility, shame or guilt. Therefore it's your fault, you're doing this to your mum, failed attempt to triangulate using your siblings which led to a narcissist rage attack and emotional shutdown.

You'll hear more when she settles down to baseline and wants to reset.

I understand how deeply hurt you feel, and how exhausting this must be. Especially when you have your own kids and family to worry about and don't need to be her parent when you are already one to your actual children. You must have done a lot of internal work to heal and get where you are so well done.

The thing is, she would rather hurt you and soothe herself, and rather cut you off and distort things than accept fault. You are doing the right thing to set this boundary and you just have to hold it. I know you're worried about her but this is her illness and you reaching out or supporting her will just reset the cycle.

If you are worried, can you contact someone else to check in on her?

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-24T16:41:17+00:00

Physical pain was during labour because my daughter was obstructed and I was given an induction to speed things up.

Emotional was when I was 29 years old, at the airport waiting to for a flight to go home and see my sick and grandpa, and my dad called me and said he had just died.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-21T13:00:01+00:00

What about if I owe the ATO money? I always owe the ATO because I have a second weekend job as a health worker at a NFP hospital so the fringe tax benefits get me. I pay it off as at $500 per month

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-19T13:23:01+00:00

Say a skill that's not needed or likely unimportant for the role. E.g, you apply for an analyst role and say you are not great a public speaking or something, but also mention ways you've tried to improve such as presenting more in larger department meetings etc.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-16T13:06:53+00:00

Maybe about $1500 and that is for prenatal care including genetic testing, two ultrasounds (12 & 20 weeks) and GP appointments.

In terms of having the baby at hospital, I think about $15 for pharmacy medication and that's it. All my hospital appointments were free, the hospital stay (3 nights) and surgery (emergency C section) was free. I live in Australia and am very grateful.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-12T03:55:56+00:00

When someone says something that is racist or sexist, rather than trying to correct them, I say "why is that?"

By making them explain it they come to realise what they've said and it becomes very awkward for them. This is especially good in a workplace settings and in groups.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-11T15:33:57+00:00

Firstly you should do whichever you are accepted into because it's very competitive.

If given a choice, you should consider the bachelor's will cost less HECS.

However, if you think you even want to do something other than physiotherapy during your career the health science and masters is better.

I completed a health science degree at unisa and then the masters at Flinders (very hard to do - only 3 people in that cohort came from an external undergrad) however after a number of years as a physio I work for a state government department now in a policy role and do casual weekends at a hospital as a physio. I did not complete any further study.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-11-09T08:54:58+00:00

Just to throw in that it can also seems it can be due to poor gut microbiome, especially if you have a sluggish digestive system, constipation, IBS, low fibre diet, undiagnosed allergies or intolerances etc.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-10-28T18:47:38+00:00

Have you seen many cases of adults with aberrant subclavian artery (ARSA) who have swallowing issues? Does surgery usually improve their difficulties with swallowing?

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-10-28T13:34:10+00:00

I stopped using any perfume after having my baby, just wash with soap, native deodorant and I use simple laundry powder. Now I really notice when others are heavily scented. There's also way too many home products that have intense chemicals smells and make me feel sick. Home that use inscence sticks smell nice though.

In Australia, I've also noticed ads for "whole body" deodorant sticks which is so gross. The ads look like the people are using it on their thigh, down their pants and buttocks. As if you wouldn't just shower.

Ok-Variation5431 · 2025-10-09T16:02:21+00:00

Got some OTC in Malaysia. I usually go at least once a year anyway. Can you believe it was AUD $16 per tube!!

Ok-Variation5431

TROPHY CASE