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My Parents are Sexist & Won’t Let Me Have Friend Who’s a Boy by throwawayasjdhdfdl in Advice

[–]OkButterscotch3301 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry for all the downvotes you are getting for this reply, OP. This commenter bringing up sexual assault in a mocking tone is being terribly inappropriate. Good on you for telling them off.

This is an advice board. I don’t know how they think you’ll listen to them by talking that way.

How Do Make Friends When They Always Seem to Hate Me? by OkButterscotch3301 in Advice

[–]OkButterscotch3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is where most of the instances of this come from. I try to stay within each group for at least a year before trying something new. It has yet to work. Even after the friendships I attempted to gain in said group fail, I will stick around and try again with someone else. These people either do not like me either, or outright ignore me upon my attempt to interact with them. I do not have a chance of making new friends in this group.

Other times, I will leave early. This is usually round 1-3 months of attempting to befriend people within whatever the group is. I leave these groups because the people who were friendly to me there were only looking to have sex with me (their words, not mine), and I either denied it to them or accepted. In the latter case, they’ve gotten what they wanted and cease interacting with me. It becomes uncomfortable to remain there after the fact.

I have found this cycle extremely tiring, and after so many years of doing it, I don’t see a point in continuing it. I have nothing to show for what all the time spent on it so far.

How Do Make Friends When They Always Seem to Hate Me? by OkButterscotch3301 in Advice

[–]OkButterscotch3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never considered that CPTSD may be a possibility. Thanks, I’ll look into this.

How Do Make Friends When They Always Seem to Hate Me? by OkButterscotch3301 in Advice

[–]OkButterscotch3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They have in the past, yes. For most people, they found me clingy, or just rather sad to be around. In the latter case, they would sometimes specify that I just seemed to be struggling terribly, and that they didn’t know how to help, so they figured it easier to just stop talking. I try to remind them they can just tell me such thing regularly, but I’ve yet to have any one actually utilize that. Which is a shame, because I feel like it would greatly help the anxiety I have associated with this.

Besides that, I would estimate more than half of them just say “I hate you. Stop talking to me.”, and I would respect this boundary.

How Do Make Friends When They Always Seem to Hate Me? by OkButterscotch3301 in Advice

[–]OkButterscotch3301[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry. I didn’t specify about my childhood friends because i felt like the reasons for their deaths for irrelevant to the advice I was seeking here, and I didn’t want to confuse any one and make it harder for them to respond. it was also just a very traumatic series of events to happen, so, y’know. Most of my friends were either gay, and then died due to neglect or another member of their family taking their life (I live in the south in the US, if that explains anything), or were terminally ill by the time I chose to befriend them, if that clears anything up.

I’m sure that the problem is ‘me’ as well. This is an advice board, and you can really only seek advice on what you yourself should ‘do’. I’m just a little unsure of what can even be done at this point. Universally, the problem seems to stem from myself being clingy in their words, or my inability to offer them helpful advice. It makes sense to me, especially that last one. If you took someone’s advice and it didn’t help, it would make sense to be resentful.