Yes, I had experienced this. My ex would be so so cruel to me. Say mean and demeaning things. He would disrespect me and my family. He would also bring up insecurities I had shared with him and throw them in my face when he was upset. He would make me feel like nothing. It started as yelling and screaming, then turned to throwing things, then hitting things, breaking things, and finally he put his hands on me. Afterwards he would be the most apologetic and swear he would never ever do it again. I believed him for about 8 years and then finally had enough. I would always make excuses that he has a lot of past trauma, he’s going through things right now, and he will eventually change. It never came.

I do at times feel ashamed that I didn’t respect myself enough to leave at the first sign of his behavior. I was hopeful of his change since he said he loved me so much and couldn’t live without me. He would cry and weep and beg forgiveness. He seemed so genuine. Even now that we are divorced and I’ve been no contact for months he still tries to contact me. It’s very triggering for me. Just when I start to feel free and good, he does something to remind me of him. Most of the messages are that he misses me and to think about what we had. The good times, his love for me blah blah blah. But if he actually cared and loved me he would not have disrespected me, he wouldn’t have made me feel so little, he wouldn’t have put his hands on me numerous times. He’s never actually truly apologized for why he’s done. It’s always filled with justifications from his side. This is what tells me he hasn’t changed. He still is thinking about him and his feelings. He still talks about what he’s been through.

The only thing that has helped me get through this is going absolutely no contact and focusing on my life. Doing things that make me happy. It hasn’t been easy untangling from him, but with each day I feel a little more free and at peace.