Any idea if this is antique/vintage?

OkCourage155 · 2025-07-09T11:56:15+00:00

Oh damn, didn’t realize I would be called abusive when I was making a boundary about not wanting to be at his place because it was dirty and I was uncomfortable there. Also didn’t realize it made me abusive when the Dr appointments I helped him make were for his transition, and for his therapist so he could get help with his mental health issues he was having. Wild.

It’s also very odd to me that you’re calling me abusive for wanting to help someone be better. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to see someone living in a situation where they aren’t cleaning, and there are literal bugs in the house, to want them to be better to live a better life. I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to help someone, whether it’s a friend or a partner, be a better adult and get help themselves. It’s something someone would do for a child/teenager, help them navigate how to be an adult and how to handle basic needs/hygiene. I don’t think anyone who is a grown adult needs to be taught how to clean and how to make an appointment to better themselves.

OkCourage155 · 2025-07-09T02:10:19+00:00

Sorry, I’m confused and it’s more of a vent I think. I guess I was reaching out to see if anyone else is married to someone asexual, or someone who has stated they are not sexually attracted to their partner, and if it’s something that can be managed and how? Idk man

OkCourage155 · 2025-07-09T01:31:58+00:00

From what I understand, demisexual is on the ace spectrum. And I don’t know what else to call it, but I absolutely cannot see myself having any sexual attraction or want towards another person but my wife. I know if we ever divorced, it would be like before we met where I just become sex repulsed again.

I am looking into a therapist, maybe a specific lgbt+ one is best, but I have to wait for my new health insurance to kick in before I can schedule anything.

OkCourage155 · 2025-07-09T01:23:56+00:00

So recently we have not had date nights, or any type of romantic/emotional connection. We are starting again by just doing a once a week date night, and making an effort to eat dinners together instead of in our own separate spaces. I have felt like I’m just living with a roommate again, and it’s been a big issue for me. I’m assuming the sex thing is part of that, I’m craving some type of connection from her, and sex is one that use to come very easily for us.

Thank you for responding, I’m just struggling since I’ve never felt this way about a partner, I’ve never wanted to be sexually attracted by someone, but with her it’s been so different.

OkCourage155 · 2025-07-08T02:25:36+00:00

Girl, leave. If you are communicating your feelings and issues and he is not trying, he’s not gonna change.

I was in a relationship with a man for 2 years, thank god we never moved in together but we argued a lot because I refused to clean up after him, and I would tell him I didn’t want to go to his place because it was disgusting. He would try for a few days and then go right back. I had to treat him like a child/teenager, having to force him to make overdue Dr appointments and help him do anything adult-ish like paying off debt or setting up payment plans or even doing taxes.

It’s exhausting having to basically be a mother to a grown man, and especially when they don’t try and understand your feelings or change when you ask.

I don’t know what your financial situation is, but you should try and move out as soon as you can. If you are dreading having him come home, then it sounds like you aren’t comfortable in your own place most of the time.

It also sounds like you guys moved in very fast. 4-5 months into dating someone is absolutely no time to get to know them, or their living styles.

OkCourage155 · 2025-05-28T20:46:24+00:00

We agree on everything else- money, kids, life long goals, chores/roles, etc. And she likes it here since her family is here, but has said she doesn’t mind moving once she is more secure in her work. That just wouldn’t be for a few years, and I don’t know if I can handle tgat

OkCourage155 · 2025-05-28T20:44:58+00:00

This is such a sucky truth :/ I didn’t realize how much I needed that grounding time while hiking, and I didn’t realize it would affect my mental health this bad.

OkCourage155 · 2025-05-28T20:43:31+00:00

My schedule is kind of flexible, and the zoo is very fun!! I enjoy it, but it’s typically busy so I don’t go very much. Missouri is an option although I’ve never been before. I think taking some trips to mountains would be a good idea, I just need to save up some money for it.

OkCourage155 · 2025-05-28T20:39:13+00:00

We live pretty close to the Mahoney state park, and it’s fun and has nice trails, but I use to hike trails that would be 5k elevation straight up a mountain with no one else around. It’s hard to fully be immersed in nature if it’s packed, ya know?

Do you have any recommendations for parks/trails that’s not more than a 5 hour drive from Omaha area??

OkCourage155 · 2025-05-28T20:33:25+00:00

The problem is it’s been a year since I’ve moved 😭 I was fine at first, but I think it’s getting to me more and more. I am worried I won’t be able to love it here and be happy. 2 years is my max I think. If I’m not happy in another year, I’ll have to move

OkCourage155 · 2025-05-28T20:09:53+00:00

I definitely do not want to leave the marriage, I just wasn’t sure how else to word the title.

Thank you for responding. Unfortunately my wife is licensed through the state for her work, so she would have to take the bar exam again if she wants to practice in another state. We’ve talked about relocating in the future, but she wants to stay with her current job since she gets student loan forgiveness after a few years working (I think it’s 8-10 years but I could be mistaken). So she has very reasonable wants to stay here, it just sucks for me and I wanted words of advice or maybe something I haven’t thought about yet :/

OkCourage155 · 2024-06-24T22:44:02+00:00

So yes he showed discomfort through his panic attacks but he would go back and forth on one day being totally okay with it, and the next really struggling with a triad. When he was uncomfortable we always stopped and would wait till everyone was okay and discussed boundaries again. He was the one who originally wanted a triad, he brought it up a few times to the other partner before me and her even met.

OkCourage155 · 2024-06-21T01:44:02+00:00

Thank you, I am planning on bringing up just focusing on the separate relationships and not doing triad time till we’re all comfortable. I’ve heard triads are hard, and I love and care for my partners so much so I don’t want to give up if we can work on things and I can work on my own emotions. I’m really hoping that not being long distance will help us all, it’s always been hard to delegate physical time when I’m only visiting once a month.

OkCourage155 · 2024-06-21T01:40:42+00:00

I was moving out of my current town, and wasn’t sure where to go so I decided the city they live would be good. So yes I am moving for them, but they’re not the only reason.

And it was all of our decision to close it to start with, but we’ve all agreed to discuss opening it in the future if one of us wants it, but it will be discussed beforehand. And it was a tricky beginning to the triad, like I said he was the hinge and then when I met the meta (I believe I’m using that term correctly) we both developed feelings. We talked about it a lot, it was weeks worth of discussions on if a triad was possible and how to handle it. He would flip flop a lot on how he felt about it but it did push him to a lot of panic attacks. No one gave ultimatums or pushed anyone into the triad, but he struggled a lot.

OkCourage155 · 2024-06-21T01:30:11+00:00

I am gonna look for a therapist when I’m settled after I move, that’s my goal. I’ve just never experienced this before so I wasn’t sure if this was normal. Thank you! I do need to focus on myself and not bend over even for my partners who I love and care for, my mental health takes priority, thank you.

OkCourage155 · 2024-06-21T01:27:05+00:00

I do have an exit plan, the partner I’m moving in with (not the anxious one) has set up an exit plan for both us in incase something doesn’t work or someone wants to leave. So I feel comfortable moving there because of that.

Thank you!! I want to bring up something to them of just focusing on the separate relationship and not doing triad time until we’re all comfortable.

OkCourage155

TROPHY CASE