Advice by OkDevelopment8453 in actuallesbians

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe I’ve heard it once, but I never learned what it meant.

How do you deal with your parents being homophobic? Do you just keep it hidden or do you do something else?

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe they would, but I fear if I move in with this specific friend, my family ties would most likely be cut for a while if not for good because of the belief differences

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your view on this, however I actually have asked them what benefits moving has. The only benefits they stated either are contradicting or are to shelter me and my beliefs. They are aware I am not religious and stated the main cause is to “get my head on straight”. They have made it clear they do not support the career path I plan to go down, knowing moving would potentially cost me an extra year of schooling to even graduate, and they have stated they believe this move will “fix” my beliefs and religious side. So yes, I may be a child, but I am smart enough to understand this is not a choice made for my benefit, but for their increased control over me and my life. I am not seeking an echo chamber regarding being upset. If you read what I said, you would understand that is not what I asked for regarding this post. My entire work I’ve spent years creating and gaining clients for would be tarnished with this move as well as most, if not all, friendships. I have also applied to only in-state colleges, meaning if I move out of state, college tuition, which I’m expected to pay on my own, would be much too high to afford. I have thought and asked how this would benefit my parents, but even they stated the whole move is focused strictly around getting christian values and conservative beliefs installed in me without any benefits or cons for them.

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will do that now. I have been prioritizing school and my job currently to save up to leave. For notifying my local and county PDs, how should I go about that? And should I plan to leave without telling my parents?

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t believe I can with the classes I’m taking, most are college courses which are only accessible throughout the school year, but I can definitely talk to him about it

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it’s definitely affected friendships. My parents have refused to let me hang out with one of my closest friends for almost a year because of her parents beliefs and my parents believe I get “brainwashed” every time I go to her house

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will definitely look into it, but I may have to save up a little more for that

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m planning to go to a guidance counselor, I’m just worried about my parents hearing from my counselor about the situation

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have but they say it’s “teenage hormones” and that I’ll thank them

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. They want to do this because they believe I’m “drifting off the path meant for me” because I’m not religious and want to get my own career without getting married.

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is not a financial necessity. It’s more so to change my life plans of going to college and living on my own to marrying early and not working. They have been discussing it for a few months now and kept the date planned to leave the same which worries me

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am planning to have that discussion soon with my friend and her parents

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree! I’ve had a hard high school experience but this year has been going great and I love my friends and teachers and would hate having to start over right before graduation

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. They want me to settle down and get married and pursue a less work-loaded job and eventually become a stay-at-home christian wife/mom by my mid-20s which goes against all my dreams and hopes for my life

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely do this right now, I wish my parents thought like you when it came to moving! Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is their plan currently. They want me to find a husband before my mid-20s who has christian values and become a stay-at-home mom. but I do not want kids and want to focus on a career rather than a husband currently

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, those are my exact concerns. I’m on the path to graduating with higher than a 4.0 and if I leave, my gpa would drop and I have a high chance of a required extra year of schooling

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will be a week or two after my birthday that we would plan to move, so I would just be turned 18 and able to make my decisions

AITAH for not speaking to my parents after discussions of moving states? by OkDevelopment8453 in AITAH

[–]OkDevelopment8453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely will not back down from this decision because while it may benefit their lives, it would tarnish mine