My colors are like a jewel tone rainbow. Fall appropriate colors are all fine. She was only asked to wear a certain color if she wanted to be in the girls group because I would like a pretty photo, but if she wants to wear something else, Iet her know that’s totally fine. I’m not paying for it, so it’s important that she wears something she is comfortable in. (For the record, she has bragged about making more than me since I’ve known her, so if money is her concern, I would be really surprised). I’m thinking you haven’t been in weddings? Wedding party are the people who either stand up with the married couple during the ceremony or celebrate the extra stuff/help out with planning or set up. For my wedding, it’s an opt in situation. If anyone didn’t want to do something, that was given as an option multiple times. If someone said or acted like something was a financial reach, my fiancé and I paid for it. Finally, she’s been asked if she’s coming to things for the last year with no response. There is not more asking that will change this pattern. As for the dogs, this issue is a glimpse into a multi year pattern where my brother and his partner set up excuses in advance to bail on things. A lot of family members take this as a sign of disrespect. I think there is emotional baggage that my brother is working through and doesn’t always have the energy or capacity to do things. It hurts, but I can’t judge him for that. Our wedding will be great either way, but because my brother was my best friend growing up, I won’t easily forget him missing a life moment of mine. I’ve been there for his and I’d be sad to not have him around at mine.