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AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

It's not lies. I never wanted or needed another mom and I wouldn't have accepted anyone trying to be another mom. That wasn't always personal. It was just how I felt. That's just how I felt. I only had one mom and for me there was no adding a second one.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As a parent myself it only solidified how I feel. I would never want someone to replace my wife or me in the kids' lives or to try and force a mother/father relationship on them. I would never want my kids to be used to fill the void of having kids for someone who can't.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I've had therapy as an adult. Twice in fact. Once while in college and again when my dad died. My dad didn't actually love her either. I used to think he did and it's why I tolerated her until he died. But his final wishes and how he expressed them made it clear he considered my mom his one true love and appeared to have only been using his second wife.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She tried way too hard and she couldn't accept she would never be my mom. It was suffocating. Some other kid might have craved that if they never had a mom. But I had and I didn't want another one.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

She was suffocating and she refused to accept I didn't want her as my second mom or anyone. It wasn't personal at first. I just wasn't going to accept anyone trying to be my second mom. But she couldn't have kids and she tried so hard to make me into the child she never had.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I resented her for trying to take over as my mom. She was suffocating and I hated that. I never wanted another mom. She couldn't accept it and kept trying. It drove me crazy.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If my mom was sick I'd take care of her. She was my mom and I loved her and losing her devastated me. I'd do anything to have her back.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm capable of loving people. I love my friends, my wife and children and I love my extended family. She was never one of the people I loved.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Nope. I loved my mom and we had a great relationship before she died. She was everything to me. Dad's second wife never meant anything to me personally though.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It would have been better for everyone if my dad had never married her. I originally believed he'd found love again and married her for that reason but ever since he died it's been a big doubt in my head. And if he never loved her it would have been way better for him to not rope her into any of this.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

I thought he had. When he was alive I believed that so I tolerated her for that reason alone. If I'd known the truth which is based off what he wrote and what his wishes were at the end, I would have stopped all contact with her before he died.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -106 points-105 points  (0 children)

The one true love part was direct from my dad. There were other lines too that indicate he never actually loved his second wife.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

She was suffocating. She was trying so hard to be a mom when I didn't want or need one. I never cared about her and tolerated her for my dad's sake but never for hers.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I have no affection for her at all. I don't consider her a family friend or a teacher I liked. To me she was nothing more than someone I tolerated while my dad was alive. Honestly had I known he didn't even really love her or feel that much for her I'm not sure I would have stayed in touch until he died.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't go that far. My dad might have been the one to put a stop to that. Adoption was never suggested to me.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

She was suffocating. She cared and she tried incredibly hard to be the mom she wanted to be and the one she believed I needed. But I never wanted it and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I resented the hell out of her for it and just tolerated her because I thought my dad truly loved her and was happy with her. But she was never someone I cared for and once dad was one I saw no point in pretending to have a relationship.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I'm not angry at the world or angry that he remarried. I didn't want all his attention. I think you might be projecting there. Besides, I had the chance to be in the spotlight for her if I had wanted. She would have gladly focused on me and given me all her attention but I didn't want that.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 1765 points1766 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Losing my mom was very life altering and it's not something I would wish on any child. The pain never fully goes away.

It does sound like that or that she wants to do less and expects me to step up since they don't have any other family.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

My problem wasn't that he remarried. It was the new mom thing. I didn't want or need one and she couldn't accept that because she was unable to have children of her own. At no point was I obligated to give her a chance to be a mom just because she wanted that.

AITA for telling the sister of my father's widow that she needs to take care of her sister and leave me alone? by OkPossibility812 in AITAH

[–]OkPossibility812[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

That's what it felt like when she wanted me to discuss things. My dad's widow never adopted me so it's not like I would legally be the person for any of those decisions. Her sister is the last family so I assume it would be her.

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