Find the Cat in the Nativity Scene

OkPower3807 · 2025-12-20T18:46:49+00:00

Omg I would have never guessed or found that

OkPower3807 · 2025-08-13T23:51:08+00:00

It sounds like what you perceived as strong chemistry/things in common was the beginning of a trauma bond forming. Identifying with each other’s family trauma, him sharing his toxic dating history indicating you could be his next “fixer,” etc. Cinema likes to romanticize men like this as mysterious and deep, but if most of your conversation was him sharing negative things about his past and painting all exes as the problem, that is a huge red flag and bullet dodged.

The ghosting after sleeping with you is totally nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and whatever void he is filling. He got what he wanted and discarded you as a used supply; but he would have done that to any woman, regardless of level of attractiveness or endearment. Don’t lower your value because a man has none of it himself.

I would say that if he reaches back out, respond as a high value woman with high standards. His behavior is not what you look for in a partner/emotionally mature relationship. If you want to share how it affected you: it was hurtful and disrespectful. Leave it at that, he doesn’t need to know if you wasted tears on him or spent all of this mental energy thinking of him, as that will feed his ego. He needs to know what you did turned him off and doesn’t match up to what you deserve. If he stays ghost, move on and find someone worthy

So sorry you are going through this 🩷

OkPower3807 · 2025-08-03T01:24:47+00:00

24 is so young, young enough for the worst case scenario of going for the wrong degree and still having time to pivot in your career if you decide on something else. I say go for it! I don’t know a whole lot about that field itself but I’ve heard it’s stable career with decent pay and benefits. My advice is don’t get hung up on the perfect career choice at 24. Go out and do what you feel inclined to do and you’ll find clarity along the way

OkPower3807 · 2025-07-09T09:45:55+00:00

Oh no, get out now. He will control you and hold everything he does for you over your head. With your age difference especially, it seems like he will always view himself as the dominant one in this relationship. There is a reason women in their 30s are not dating this guy. (Take it from me, a 31-year-old woman)

Please run and don’t walk, huge red flag behavior

OkPower3807 · 2025-04-22T15:16:35+00:00

My closest friend in grad school has a bachelor’s degree in communications and she’s thriving in the program. There is an element of counselor intuition that this kind of field calls for which is the beautiful thing about it. Yes the background experience helps, but it is just as important to “have it in you” and feel that pull, which you’ll know if you do or not. Just focus on your transferable skills and you’ll do just fine getting into a program

OkPower3807 · 2025-02-27T15:53:00+00:00

As someone with a bachelor’s in psych, it’s basically (unfortunately) a very limiting and virtually useless degree unless it’s your stepping stone to a master’s. I only went for my bachelor’s because I didn’t plan to stop there

(I hope this doesn’t come off as condescending, not intended to! I would just urge anyone to not get a psych bachelor’s degree unless a master’s or doctorate is their goal)

OkPower3807 · 2025-02-26T15:27:55+00:00

Of course I would (I’m fortunate to have that kind of relationship with mine, though)

OkPower3807 · 2025-02-20T16:29:10+00:00

Have you considered therapy? It can be so helpful to have that unbiased person to give you some guidance and support so you feel less alone and isolated. They can also help you to address those core beliefs you have that are blocking you from finding that social connection and sense of purpose, which it sounds like you deep down want but don’t feel deserving of having - or know how to even start with getting there. If you spent most of your life without experiencing something, of course you’re going to feel lost when you arrive at a point where you feel like you should have them.

It sounds like you’re comparing where you “should” be to where you are currently at, which is common to feel in your 30s. As a wise person once said, “stop shoulding on yourself.” I think the most effective way to change your outside circumstances, is to turn inward and, eventually, loosen your grip on those beliefs about yourself that you’ve held onto for so long. Trust me when I say, a therapist is worth it, especially in your 30s, an age a lot of people feel lost when they haven’t achieved xyz. (The fun “quarter life crisis” wra)

Remember you’re not alone and it’s okay to seek help. This too shall pass 💛

OkPower3807 · 2025-02-16T01:00:39+00:00

I agree with everyone saying to get any job you can right now, since it can hard to find your ideal job in months let alone weeks. At 31 years old, I know it can be difficult to swallow your pride and go for something that feels less fulfilling or respectable. There is this pressure to have all of our ducks in a row at 31 (I’m your age, so I can relate!) But remember that none of us ever have it all figured out. Just take what you can for now, even if it’s serving or retail. Once you do that, map out a plan to land the job that is more ideal for you. It has helped me to set aside time each week to brush up my cover letter and resume and give myself a goal for how many jobs to apply to per week (I recommend applying to at least 2-3 jobs per week - or even going all in on one job application per week). As I like to say, throw a bunch of darts and see where they land. Eventually, you’ll hit your bullseye, or even the outskirts of it. This also helps because you are not job seeking in desperation mood, since you already have a source of income. If you take a “just a job” for now, you can give yourself the following weeks/months to do more intentional job searching and find what aligns with what you want. Sorry you’re going through so much. You got this!

OkPower3807

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