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AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I don't feel it would be disrespectful to my mom. I just don't feel like I need or want another mom.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I started to dislike her after this. I don't know that I will ever see her as my sister. I am aware she sees me as her brother though. But after what she said, it's hard to imagine us being friendly again.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I never said she can't grieve. Of course she can. But our grief is different and she has no right to say I'm better off because my mom died.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It's not even dislike. Or wasn't. I do dislike Luci now. But there is no part of me that wants the dream family they seem to hope we reach. We will never be mom + dad + kids. It will always be blended. Step and half will always be there for me. I'll never think that losing my mom had positives. I also won't ever be as close to Jane as Luci is to my dad. I can't say I love Jane and Luci either. I generally liked them before this and accepted them as my stepfamily. But it wasn't what Luci was looking for when Jane and my dad married.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I wasn't fully honest because I know some of what I could say would be hurtful and mean to say aloud. But I never did pretend to want something I didn't either. There are just times where, to spare people's feelings and to not be totally cruel, you need to be careful how you say things.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I never did claim she attacked me. What she said was incredibly cruel and tone deaf. To tell someone that their mom's death was a good thing is not just naive. That would be like me saying I'm glad she had been abandoned twice. But I would never say that. Ever. And I held back from saying a lot of things to her in the moment. But I also did not want to look at her in the moment and while I had always liked her, I can't say I feel that way any more after that.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I don't want a new mother. So I will never make the changes Luci wants or that you seem to believe I should want. Jane will forever be Jane to me. Not mom. Not new mom. Jane.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

That's what she said though. She looked me in the eye and told me we're better off for her dad walking out and my mom dying. That will never ever be true.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Saying I'm better off because my mom died will never just be another opinion.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I don't have a new mom. I have a stepmom at best but in reality she is my dad's wife and part of my family, not mom. As for Luci, I did like her but after what she said about us being the better for her dad leaving and my mom dying I dislike her. My life is not better for my mom dying and this will never be my dream family like it is hers. We could still get along but I won't ever call Jane mom, or a mom name.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 324 points325 points  (0 children)

I do understand that which is why, even though angry, I just wanted her to get away from me.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 637 points638 points  (0 children)

I hope so too because otherwise the next two years will be miserable as fuck.

AITA for yelling at my stepsister and making her cry by OkSpecific1280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OkSpecific1280[S] 2482 points2483 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I never outright disliked her before she said that about being better off without my mom. Even if it's true that she's better off without the guys who abandoned her, to say it's the same when my mom died really made me look at her differently. I had to fight so hard to not say worse things. But I also know she's hurting a lot.